Dress code for Mess Dinner 5 January 2016 at 11:54AM edited 5 January 2016 at 11:57AM in UK armed forces MoneySaving 10 replies 7.4K views

Nikkisun

Help!!

I have my first mess dinner coming up at the end of this month and I need to go dress shopping this week!

I've been told it needs to be full length and no bare shoulders - does this mean it has to have sleeves or can it be sleeveless as long as it's not strapless?

I was thinking of something like this but am unsure of the rules!

http://www.houseoffraser.co.uk/JS+Collections+V+neck+jersey+gown+with+lace+back/214895867,default,pd.html

Poppie68

Bare shouldlers will mean strapless... The dress above will be perfect, it's similar to the dresses I've always worn in the mess..
Have a good time!

Nikkisun

Thanks - I was dreading trying to find a dress with sleeves!

Poppie68

That dress will look perfect.... When the dress code states cocktail dress remember as well nothing above the knee.

13Kent

It looks lovely, if you still feel uncomfortable then get a wrap or a shawl to put round your shoulders - that's what lots of ladies do, although they often get discarded at some point during the evening! Have a lovely time!

nbinblack

I agree with the comments about that dress being perfect and getting a wrap or shawl, your shoulders should be covered during the meal element but can be exposed at other points in the evening.
If it's the end of this month, is it a Burns night? If so, a bit of tartan somewhere would help you get in the spirit.

Starrystarrynight1

The dress you've shown us is perfect! I only ever wore strapless gowns for black tie functions, and I always had a wrap, which I'd secure with my OH's regimental pin.

I really miss the Mess functions now that hubby is retired. I'm looking forward to the Association dos instead, though. Have a wonderful time!

Nikkisun

Thanks all - I'm off shopping on Friday so fingers crossed they have the dress in my size and it looks ok on!

My OH is Scottish and as far as I know is planning on the full kilt!!

NotBothered

I miss Mess functions. They are lovely. Other things you need to know!!!
No Meat until after you eat! = Keep shoulders covered until after you have left the table.
As soon as you reach the table take your name/place card and place in handbag! = Other guests will write rude things on it and then pass to the the Top Table for the RSM to read out and fine your OH. Alternatively, get into the spirit and write rude stuff yourself so that your OH gets fined anyway!
Remember that you are not permitted to leave the table to go to the lav outside of pre-arranged "Comfort" Breaks. I tended to not drink much before or during the dinner as I have a bladder the size of a pea!
I dont like wine, but unfortunately, other drinks are not permitted on the table, so I used to sneak my glass and hide it under the table. Another thing OH got fined for A LOT! :-)
Dont stand when they announce the toast to the Ladies - people point and laugh : -)
If like me, you dont like port, just raise the glass to your lips and then swap with your OH for the the next toast,
I think thats it - Oh - most importantly have a really good time!! All airs and graces go completely out of the window later in the evening! : -)

Nikkisun

Unfortunately when I tried the above dress on it didn't fit well at all! After a bit of looking around I got this one which fits perfectly! I also have a wrap to wear with it so there's no excess of flesh on show!

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KJLilac

I went to my first mess ball back in December! They are wonderful - I hope you had a great time - we had a mechanical bull at ours!! Can't wait for the next one!