KonMari 2016 - The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

WeeMidgie

Dear wort, anything practical which helps you cope at this point can only be good, and often in times of trouble it's the small things we do which help keep us sane and focused on keeping going and holding it together. A bit of control we can exert in a situation which is out of our control.

Sending hugs ((((( )))))

GreyQueen

(((((((wort))))))))) it's not unfeeling, it's how people cope and no one has the right to judge you.

A woman I only knew as a widow had her husband dying in a coronary care unit. He was conscious and knew he was dying. Family visited and made their last farewells, he took his expensive wristwatch off and handed to an adult grandson.

She gave a door key to a trusted friend with the instruction to go to their house (she was at his bedside) and remove all his clothing and footwear and take it away, she cared not where, as long as she never saw it again.

My aunt was disposing of her late husband's clothing the day after he died. They'd been married over 50 years. It's not a measure of hardness, it's a way of managing a desperately sad situation.

Folks probably know this already but, if you donate clothing to one of the chain charities, you can ask them to send it to another town so you won't have the potential upset of seeing someone else wearing your loved one's former wardrobe.

One of the things which came to light when we cleared out Nan's bungalow last autumn was a stripy bobble hat she'd knitted and rarely worn because she'd become housebound about that time. It went into a chazzer bag and then I took it out again and gave it to an acquaintance. It's his team's colours and he'd had a near-identical handknit hat from his old mum just like it which he'd accidentally ruined in the wash ,which he was gutted about.

To say he was pleased was to considerably understate the issue. Plus, I get to see him wearing it in the cold weather and he always talks about it, it's become an object of joy in his life. Perhaps some people might think a loving family ought to have kept a hat knitted by their late Nan, even if they didn't need it and wouldn't use it, just Because, but I feel that it's a good decision and a reflection of the generous and giving character of my Nan.

Floss

Wort better that you feel able to do those tasks now, than leave them until later when you may feel less able, just because of what people may think. Only you know how you are, and being practical & sorting stuff out can sometimes help to come to terms with things. Big hug from Blackpool winging its way to you xx

silvasava

Wort - huge hugs for you. How you manage this incredibly difficult time is your decision and certainly not unfeeling.
Slinky - go you!! I decided I'd like to learn to sail as I come from a naval family and DH was a merchant seaman. Four years on I now sail a (very small) motor cruiser in the Solent. It gives me great joy! I'm still learning - don't really think you ever stop but it has opened a whole new circle of great supportive friends too. As I'm now in my early seventies my attitude is if I don't do it now I'll never do it!!! Go for your dream!

Karmacat

greent wrote: »

Ooh - great idea - I, too, have an orange seal huuge jar (inherited after my uncle died last year and appears to never have been used) which I was wondering what to do with - dishwasher things it is - thanks, Kc! :T:T

Welcome I did use this same jar as a vase for the flowers that Virgin Trains sent me but I get flowers every 10 years or so on average, so I'm happy with the decision. And the tabs are in something waterproof, in case something else awful happens under the sink!

((Wort)) - sorry you've got such a sad job to do. I don't think it's unfeeling at all - it's practical to do it now if you have the inclination - later on you will have a whole heap of other stuff to be dealing with at a time when you probably don't want to be doing very much at all. Plus work clothes and woolly hats do not make the person (clumsy words, but I hope you understand) xx

I'm just chipping in to agree with everyone else, wort - everyone I know who's had, or is expecting, a bereavement, focuses on the clothes first, they seem to be the least worst thing to do.

Even if that wasn't true, it's nobody's business but yours, what you do and when you do it. Whatever feels right for you xxx

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grunnie

Wort you go girl and sending a hug. When I had to sadly clear my mum's house I found my dad's clothes and possessions too and he had died a few decades before. I promised myself that my family wouldn't be left such a huge untidy disorganised house to clear. I was an only child and had to clear it all myself - think big house and sheds and garage.
This is why I find this thread so addictive and am always off to the CS with a bag of stuff.

monnagran

wort: whatever you do or don't do will be right for you. This is a time where rational thinking and logic has no place. You will be all the better for not being continually reminded of someone who is no longer physically there.
You will have more than enough to cope with dealing with loss and grief, sorting out and disposing of clothes would be like rubbing salt into the wound.

Most of us have had the experience of watching and waiting with a loved one while they slip into their last sleep. We will all be with you in spirit and here to support and console you as you need it.

Just do whatever seems to be right for you. The rest of the world will seem far, far away.

God bless.

x

Slinky

I dread to think what I'll be faced with if my sibling passes away. They live in the house my Dad lived in for nearly 50 years. I don't think sibling has cleared a thing out of the house since Dad passed away 8 years ago, including his clothes, so I'll be faced with doing both (sibling won't let me in the house).

Slinky

I have today kondoed the information for my accountant to do my tax return.

camelot1001

You do what you feels to be right wort, big hugs to you.

I keep my dishwasher tablets in a kilner type jar. When I get a new box I open them up and break them in half, our water is so soft half is sufficient. The jar stops them clumping together and there are no 'bits' falling all over the place.

That sounds wonderful slinky, I used to think riding a horse was easy until I tried!

I'm making a bag at the moment - one thread reel will go to school for the play area and it will minimise the fabric stash a little. Onwards ......