KonMari 2016 - The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

grunnie

My late mum had a huge collection of handbags and purses in an even bigger wardrobe. She was widowed in 1975 and collected her pension in cash and paid bills with cheques. All the cash not spent went into purses in handbags in the wardrobe. When I had to clear her house I was so shocked and landed with 2 carrier bags of money to the bank. Most of the notes were not legal tender by then. The bank staff weren't surprised and said this happens all the time. The family then called it grunnie's magic wardrobe.

GoingToDoIt

Charis wrote: »

Hi GQ, this is not a negative comment on your lightbulb moment, it's more of another way to look at things.

I would never want to pass on everything simply because of the belief that I might be depriving anyone of the use of some thing.

It is a good point. II think it really depends on the circumstances and the item.
From my experience - I recently did a chazzer run and included some silver heels (4inch heel, size 4) I wore them once, mainly indoors, for a wedding. Having established that I could not walk unaided in them due to their height, but liking them as they were very nice, I displayed them on my dresser where they looked fab.
However, as I packed up chazzer stuff, they caught my eye and I just thought- there's a woman somewhere who would be pleased to find these in a chazzer, and wear them on a night out. So off they went. And as a bit of assurance that I'd done the right thing, as I unloaded the items the volunteer exclaimed "oh they're lovely" and called another volunteer over to coo over them!

So I guess for me it did help to think I was "depriving" someone of the shoes. I couldn't wear them again, I'd displayed them, but they needed to be worn!

tibawo

I do think the deprieving thing is more so about the item. I had a jumper in the wardrobe that I would have hung onto forever as it brought me joy every time I looked at it. I never wore it, and I was deprieving the homeless person who received it of the warmth and knowledge that people do care.
However, I don't feel like this about all my items, sometimes when I release them it is part of my current learning curve of not just buying things for the sake of it. A bargain is not always what it is made out to be and that this needs to be my mantra with future purchases.

DD2 sleepover went well although I am still in awe of the house still being straight!

mto

If anyone's looking for a non US style Konmari checklist, Dublin based Laura on http://howtogyst.com has a free printable in her library. She's also done a series of blog posts and you tube videos on KM, and I love her honesty.

Also, can anybody point me in the direction of a post that tells me which UK papers should go in which keep category.

Thanks

firebubble

Hello all

I remember my Mum's copy of the Dairy Book of recipes really fondly, and so I have just ordered a copy of that, and the home management one as I'm intrigued to read it! A lot of joy from a few quid... and once read, I'l probably re-sell them. I tend to keep very few books.

Decluttering has been continuing...I've come to realise that it's like peeling an onion, and every pass over your possessions is like peeling back another layer - refining exactly what brings you joy and what gets used, and seeing where things can be minimised even further. There is something really steadying about knowing I have enough - not too much so I'm forever hunting through piles of stuff, not too little so I always feel frazzled and unprepared from not having what I need (clothes are the key thing for this...having a wardrobe full, but not having enough tshirts, for example), but it takes a little time of living with the results of a declutter to be able to see this.

Paper clutter is tough...it's insidious and comes from everywhere. My tips on different ways to approach it - think of it as a process that you will refine with every layer:
- do a first pass sifting into keep and chuck (recyle/shred)...this gets rid of rubbish and as other posters have said will probably reduce the volume a lot.
- also stop more coming in: cancel mag subscriptions (even temporarily, you can always restart them when your paper is under control), and every time you receive a catalogue, phone them up and get your name taken off the mailing list. Call banks and credit card providers and ask for email statements, and to come off marketing lists. This takes a few months to see results, but I found this made an amazing difference once it starts to bite.
- work out a filing system that doesn't involve 'filing' ie opening a file, hole punching, adding into plastic sleeves, alphabetising etc etc. You need a system which works by 'chucking' - I got a load of cardboard magazine holders, and had one for banking, one for receipts, one for misc (bits I tear out of magazines) etc. Work out simple main categories for the paper you get most often, as few as possible, keep them handy, and then start using them with the new paper you get. Work through the old paper as and when you can, a little at a time.
- if the 'misc' folder starts bulging, have a look at what you're keeping - maybe you need another new category, or maybe you need to consider why you're keeping it - what are you really going to do with it? :-)
- once you've got your broad categories, then it starts to get easier to take a magazine file, and look at what's inside it, making decisions about how you'll treat those categories in future - do you need to keep them - why? how long do you need to go back - forever, a year, a financial year, until the next statement arrives or the object gets chucked out (receipts)?
- once you get to this point, if you keep doing other decluttering you'll be able to refine even further, for example, consolidating credit cards, shutting accounts you don't use, getting rid of receipts for objects you no longer have. Don't worry about getting to this point quickly though, I found it takes a few months at least. That is one thing where I think MK's method isn't so good, although her principles still work.

Today though for me is ebay Sunday.... I have a huge bag of 'high end' high street clothes which will make me feel slightly better for wasting all that money on if I can get a few quid back...they've been hanging around for since December and enough is enough!

mto

Thanks firebubble, some brilliant tips on cutting down the paper mountain

[Deleted User]

I too had that LB and very comforting, moment about hanging onto things that we don`t need or use and I would add in my case, not sparking joy. That made me able to let go, to give things to the cs, to potentially be used again. It is a karma, to me, I have been able to afford that item, I gave out cash and now am returning that item to the wider ether, to be enjoyed by someone else. That enables flow to continue, instead of stuckness. I can very honestly say that I have not regretted anything I have given away. I started when we downsized from our family home, when I gave a complete and perfect royal albert set to oxfam, very many pieces, tea and dinner. I had what I had needed from those dishes ie the memories of rolling the dishes in to my family on a trolley, when we had a relaxing and joyous family cake and sandwich, tea on a saturday. The children still remember it, we called it `cosy evening`. We enjoyed a family film on video and had that tea and nibbles.

I do agree with firebubble, about paper clutter being very tough. I dare not let that accumulate as there is something about a paper mountain, it causes that internal churning. I had to do probate almost two years ago and was very grateful to have pretty well kept on top of paper but the bills and letters came, day after day, there was no end. I had to force myself to deal with these items on the day they arrived. Thank goodness, it has stopped now but it most definitely pays to have some sort of filing system, just in case

Am just treading water today, no MK unless I can say that I am clearing a can of chick peas at a time and they will not be replaced

Igamogam

Charis wrote: »

TBH I think the idea that we are harming other people by holding onto our own possessions is a very grey area. We or our benefactors have paid for those possessions with a chunk of life, bought from the small percentage left of salary after all other expenses had been met. Who decides how often you have to need or use an item before you cross the line: weekly, monthly, triannually? How much joy does it need to register?

Thank you Charis:)

hebwood

Hi everyone


Completely agree on the paper mountain. As an ex secretary/administrator I thought I had it taped.
Did I heck! Still wading my way through, still finding areas that seem to have accumulated all by itself!. Probate creates huge amounts (having done 4 of them) too. All the tips and hints on here are good.


Lovely memories of using the 'Dairy Book' of Recipes, and the Home Management one.


Thanks for the answer re Mavvymoo. Sorry, not sure who it was and now cannot find it.


Hope everyone is staying warm and well.


H.

GreyQueen

Evening all.

Although fairly scornful of what I'd call hippy-dippidom, I do find myself drawn to the idea of karma.

In my lived experience, I have had many examples of when I've gifted something away, either directly to a person or indirectly via the medium of a charity shop or freegle, and suddenly had my own needs met through a random act of generosity, often within hours or days.

Happens so often that it's positively 'woo'.

I've also been the grateful beneficiary of many things which others have been kind to pass on in good condition. Some of these came to me direct from the original owner's hand, some I purchased secondhand from jumblies, booters, chazzers, for a fraction of their original price new. In plenty of cases, their new price would have been beyond my reach, and I would have either gone without, permanantly or for a long time while saving up for them, or had to make do with something inferior which I could afford.

So, I guess I feel constantly grateful for all these acts of generosity and happy to send my extra things winging on their way when I've no need to keep them.

If my previous post caused offence, it wasn't intended, and I'm sorry. We should keep what we value for as long as we like. We can even keep what we don't value (or don't value as much as some other things) forever, it's a free country.

*************

Visited with a pal today, and were were discussing crafts. I mainly do textile-y things these days, she does that and more. I again mentioned the carrier-bag size snarl of colourful knitting wool which she gave me a few weeks ago. Took me several happy hours to disentangle it and chop it up for rug wool and it's already being incorporated into the WIP rug.

She'd not been able to part with this and had struggled to think what to do with it all (the longest lengths being about 18 inches long btw, and most of it much shorter, but all pure wool in lovely colours). When she knew I was rug-making, it was a LBM and she's happy to know where it's going and has even seen the rug in progress. Nothing wasted and gratitude and happiness all round.:beer:

Spent part of this morning working on the blanket WIP, which will remove a large amount of stuff once completed. Have suddenly got a bit of time pressure as the folks have announced that if my sewing-machine is ready to collect from the repair shop this Weds, they will be coming up next Sunday, and I will want the WIP to leave with them. I will be effectively exchanging it for some things from Nan's which I will be freegling, as our group is much larger than their town's group.

Minor annoyance re a freegler as they'd asked for an item on Thurs and said they'd collect Friday and it's still out there. I'll leave it til mid-week before contacting them, one cannot know what might have brewed up in their lives which needed to take priority.

Have a good evening, folks GQ xx