KonMari 2016 - The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

Charis

MMF007 wrote: »

Wow Charis, what an interesting post. I LOVE that you are tackling things head on! I LOVE that you are excited by a challenge (and your self confidence has grown?).
M

GreyQueen wrote: »

I'm coming belatedly to the understanding that a person has to be the own driver of her own life, not in the sense of being utterly selfish and inconsiderate of the wants and needs of others, but of being prepared to face oneself and say : I know (insert name) wants me to do this/go there/ be a free warehouse/ whatever, but what do I want?

WeeMidgie wrote: »

Absolutely agree, it's about boundaries and if we have respect for our own time, energy and space then others will by default have to have more respect for us too.

The various challenges I have had, which began at the start of 2012, have forced me to be pro active. I was always shy as a child and somehow the habit of asking for permission for anything I want, or even not being able to ask, has stayed with me. I haven't been able to relinquish the role of mother even though distance means I hardly see my now-adult children. I need to find a new identity.

One day I was reading an excerpt from a book by Theodore Dalrymple, who is a retired prison doctor and psychiatrist, and a writer. He found that women often stayed in difficult or even abusive relationships because they are convinced that things will eventually improve. A couple of sentences he wrote jumped out at me and I paraphrased them to inspire me:

No one can improve the quality of a woman's life unless she is prepared to forgo whatever gratification she derives from her current circumstances. There is no painless way of resolving the dilemma, no medicine that will take away the discomfort of having to make the difficult decision to take responsibility for her own life.

It stings, but it works.

Save
Save
Save

maddiemay

MMF007 wrote: »

Karmacat , PLEASE be careful with cherry laurel. I am sure it gives off cyanide when cut or burned.

M

I just read this with interest, OH gave ours a haircut yesterday, just leaves and small thin branches to go in household council re-cycling bin, but I had been wondering if the wood from some in another area might be useful to anyone when we take it out.

A little internet trawling found http://www.firewoodreview.co.uk/firewood-knowledgebase/articles/best-wood-burning

it does say not to burn on an open fire, and another comment elsewhere said they would not burn it anywhere near their livestock, so I think it will have to go to the re-cycling centre bins when the time comes.

Charis

MMF007 wrote: »

DH once moaned that we needed a bigger house so people could come and stay. Oh definitely not, says I. It is a jolly good thing that folk cannot come and stay. Anyone that wants to spend an extended period in our company is put up in nearby self-catering house or Prem Inn down the road. That way we all get time to relax whilst making the most of the visitors, iyswim.


M

An excellent idea. :beer:

Save

Karmacat

MMF007 wrote: »

Karmacat , PLEASE be careful with cherry laurel. I am sure it gives off cyanide when cut or burned.

M

Good Lord! You're not wrong, either: http://www.thepoisongarden.co.uk/atoz/prunus_laurocerasus.htm

The leaves and the pips, that website says.

An interesting conversation here on a tree forum: http://arbtalk.co.uk/forum/general-chat/52841-burning-cherry-laurel-cyanide.html

MMF, thank you!

Karmacat

Maddie, just seen your post too, thats a goodun, thanks.

Slinky

PollyWollyDoodle wrote: »

Does anyone else get 'stuck' because of other people's well-meaning but not fulfilled offers? By way of example, I had a leak in May due to a blocked gutter. A neighbour, a friend and another friend's husband all said they could clear it 'when my son-in-law comes over/when I can get a ladder/when I get a free weekend'. Money is tight and it wasn't a big job so I waited ... and waited ... after torrential rain on Saturday, I rang a local firm and within 2 hours it was fixed. One phone call and £85 (ouch) but it had to be done, as the water has damaged the wallpaper and I couldn't go into winter with it. I've had similar offers to help with a big garden task, remove a piece of furniture, and other things which just aren't happening.

When someone's offered a favour, you can't nag them to do it. I'm thinking its time to face up to some of these things and either save up to Get A Man In or do it myself. I'd like to Kondo a few of these jobs before winter.

We had this a few years ago. We were going to have a couple of extensions done to our house. My friend 'volunteered' her husband who is a quantity surveyor to cost it up for us, I didn't ask. I said we'd pay, oh no, he'll do it free............ well this flipping offer ran on for ages to the point where it was holding things up, but of course I didn't feel like I could chase it as he was doing it free. I'd have prefered to pay him so at least I could have chased it then.

He did it eventually but it was a favour I wish we hadn't had.

luxor4t

Our shower power unit broke at the end of August. The plumber just left, having fixed it for £40.
DH had said it "wasn't urgent" - and wondered why nobody rushed to mend it.

Slinky

At last, I've just about got to the bottom of our ironing pile, apart from a few pairs of boxers, plus some of OH's trousers I refuse to iron and am leaving for him. Has taken me 4 weeks to catch up after our holiday.

Our cat came and decided to investigate an open drawer in our built in units. Climbed over the back of the drawer into the gap behind and refused to come out, so I had to take a drawer out to retrieve her. I then discovered a plastic carrier bag, which had some stick up caricatures of Winnie the Pooh, Piglet and Eyeore in it. I wracked my brain as to how these got there as they're not ours, and I had the built in units installed in 1998. In the end I remembered that we rented the house out for a while and in 2003 there were some children living in the house, these must have been purchased for them! Oh well, off to the CS they will go in due course.

MMF007

Oh help, the day is rushing past! Not started the decorating. Realised I had to do a small bit of tiling first, went to get necessary equipment from multi purpose room, saw bookshelf that DH weeded, gave it a good wipe over, polished wooden furniture, polished wood in bedroom whilst at it, took a call from friend, rearranged all books (it looks sooooo much better ), kondo'd 3 books, an old school report (1979!!!), a guide to Iceland (the country not the shop, controversial!), put away clothes, saw other clothes and wondered whether they would fit yet, tried on 5 skirts, 2 tops and a bra, chucked one that was too large (!), put aside 3 fav skirts for taking in, binned some old bubblewrap no longer needed, made a list of books I would like to get sometime, rang mum to let her chat while dad at hosp,
and breathe!
I did have a low cal jelly for lunch at about 2pm.

It is true that the MK magic sometimes directs you to the jobs you need to do at that time, while the mood strikes. Tiling n papering will wait (actually may wait a fortnight cos we have a lot on for the next 10 days :rotfl:

M

GreyQueen

Evening all.

Have been busy since I got in from work as I knew if I sat down, I'd not get up again and then the evening would have whizzed past with nothing much done. I will be heading out of town in the late tomorrow afternoon with a pal who passes the edge of the hometown on his commute and who'll pass me over to my Dad (if you see a middleaged woman nipping between two older men's cars in a layby somewhere, pls be reassured it isn't some dodgy sexcapade.;)).

Got the Stuff off the floor, vacuumed, then re-packed the three bags for life which are holding most of the contents of the kitchen cupboards along the party wall-o-damp (slowly drying out, will be a while yet). Got them tidied so they stand more neatly.

Then I ironed, a rare habit. I've had the same iron since 1987 which tells you how little use it gets. Going to be gone at the parents' for the weekend and shuttling to and fro Nan's bungalow, then back just before 10 pm Sunday. Going to be a bit poignant on Sunday, saying the last farewells to that bungalow, which I know as well as my own parental home.

The skip is due to be delivered tomorrow morning, and will be loaded with rubble and various other unusable bits and bobs. Of the four orphaned armchairs (no safety certs, not donate-able) one has been asked for by a relation and has moved two doors down the road. Three others, plus some bits of furniture still in Aunt's garage, are presently being advertised.

Cousin has come with their old land whale (Merc estate car) and dragged away the remains of Big Shed, including the tin roof. Parents have done a tip run with recyclables and some sad detritus which is only landfillable.

They tell me that the parental home is virtually impassable due to Stuff, and they are busily dragging it out the various chazzers. It was bad enough last Sunday, so gawd'elp us now.:eek::eek::eek:

I have some faint hopes that this experience will be life-changing in that it might motivate Mum to decide to declutter before she becomes disabled with the Parkinson's. I've told her I worry about her falling on and over excess Stuff and hurting herself.