Getting a Relative Admitted to a Hospice

susan1

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Unless the "serious condition" is some form of cancer, in many areas you have no chance of a place in a hospice.

Agree with this, our Hospice is in my opinion unfairly selective, to the point I will not support their charity drives.

supersuzie50

My brother,aged 58, had stomach cancer. He was transferred to a hospice in the oldest ambulance in Southampton. He was then put in a room with 5 other gentlemen. He was not given any real nursing care at all. He received much better care in the hospital. The nurses there were wonderful. My brother was ignored - the staff were awful. On his last day, I popped in to the hospice to see how he was and he looked awful. I asked why there were no staff looking after him- they said he is Ok. He was not. I asked the useless member of staff - if it was ok for my mother to visit as I had a hospital appointment so I attended my appointment. My mother, aged 95, had been left on her own and would not press the buzzer. She eventually pressed it and a person came and told her to leave the room. The nurse came out and said he will be dead soon and left her on her own again. I have this scenario told to me every other day as it was so distressing for my mother. Please do not believe all hospices are wonderful - it depends on the personal staff. It was the same when I was asked to be a hospice visitor - the staff were not interested in their patients. When I visited one lady, again I was told in an offhand manner, she was dead. They did not know who I was - if I had been her sister, it would have been devastating.

getmore4less

ThemeOne wrote: »

The hospital has not so far mentioned the hospice idea in his care plan .

What is in the care plan?
That would be my way to address the issue.

Sometimes you have to put emotions to one side and get on the case, start questioning what the plans really are, often it looks like they are planning but in reality not, everyone in the system is waiting for someone else to do something.

Sometimes it can be because the hospital admission was not for the root cause of EOL,(could be fall, infections etc) a medical ward just expect the patient to go when they have done their bit and sometimes the communications don't happen.

Sometimes being blunt like "are you just going let them die here" can work.

If engaging the senior current care team is not working might be worth engaging Macmillon PALS. and going back to the oncology if not under them.

In our area the pain team worked the hospital and the NHS Hospices and that got things moving when it became clear at home was going to be difficult, they also had a day center attached to the hospice that offered services like pain management that those that were not so far into the illness could use, giving day respite for carers.

As others have said in some areas you have to be on the case and be in peoples faces to get anything done, start with asking what is the plan, they can't stay here, can they?

What does dad want, if at home then that needs someone on the ball to make it happen, if that is a non starter then the hospital need to be looking at options.

heartbreak_star

74jax wrote: »

In the case of my dad, recently in hospital I asked for his specialist and a social worker to be present at the same time. We sat with dad and discuss his end of life plan. He wanted to for at home so the social worker organised a hospital bed and hospice at home for through the night. The doctor arranged his 'just in case' medicine for discharge.

During this meeting they went through care homes available and hospice availability.

I would ask for a meeting with the specialist involved and try and get everyone you can think of at the same meeting.

I found with end of life meetings, everyone did their utmost to accommodate dads wishes.

That's pretty much what happened with me and my Mum, regarding Dad's care after a massive stroke. The doc actually called it when he started to breathe on his own again, but it was very obvious he wasn't going to make it for much longer.

It meant that everyone was on the same page moving forward, except for his care worker who had no interest in him and handed his file over to her colleague who was much better.

(To be fair, that meeting involved me bodily hurling myself at said useless care worker with every intention of causing her serious harm. I was at the end of my tether, but I can't advise it...! )

HBS x

ThemeOne

The care plan is to transfer him to a smaller hospital for a period of time ("a few weeks" was mentioned) beyond which there's talk about converting his home for longer term care. He lives alone, and they are aware of that.

My feeling is this is rather optimistic, and probably focused more on getting him out of a hospital bed than actually giving him the best care.

I have two practical problems in steering this whole thing, firstly I'm not on the spot, living around 90 miles away and it's difficult for me to visit that often, and secondly the first hospital seems to have a policy of telling me nothing on the phone, and precious little even when I visit, despite being next of kin, and also are not prepared to discuss anything with me other than in my father's presence.

Hermia

ThemeOne wrote: »

I have two practical problems in steering this whole thing, firstly I'm not on the spot, living around 90 miles away and it's difficult for me to visit that often, and secondly the first hospital seems to have a policy of telling me nothing on the phone, and precious little even when I visit, despite being next of kin, and also are not prepared to discuss anything with me other than in my father's presence.

When my mum was dying the consultants said they could not speak to me, on my own, about her. But they did say if she gave permission they could do that. So when we were all in the room my mum said she was happy for me to talk to the consultants about anything and after that they were fine.

Armchair23

ThemeOne I'm really sorry, it's so tough to do this when you feel you're fighting a battle rather than making things happen that are good for your Dad and probably the hospital as well.
I can't offer any useful practical suggestions other than don't hold back.
Don't go home thinking 'I should have said this' or 'why didn't I ask'.
Be a bit more pushy than you might feel comfortable with under usual circumstances.
When services are under pressure the people who complain loudest or sometimes even just ask, often get results. And the rest of us who aren't that used to being demanding get left a bit behind.

Mrs_pbradley936

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Surely the thing to do is discuss with the doctor who is in charge, they are the ones who will be in touch with the palliative team and will know the criteria for admission. I know that hospice care is not just at the very end of life but is also for getting pain relief under control for instance.

I think it's shocking to hear that you may be limited in how long you can go to a hospice, maybe it's better when the hospice is NHS.

I would hate for any Hospice to be part of the NHS - then they too would be dirty, overcrowded and under staffed. You go there when there is nothing more that surgery or medicine can offer. They are not to be confused with hospitals or nursing homes. People can and do live in nursing homes for years! A hospice is usually for when a person is close to the end of their life.

Torry_Quine

Mrs_pbradley936 wrote: »

I would hate for any Hospice to be part of the NHS - then they too would be dirty, overcrowded and under staffed. You go there when there is nothing more that surgery or medicine can offer. They are not to be confused with hospitals or nursing homes. People can and do live in nursing homes for years! A hospice is usually for when a person is close to the end of their life.

That's a sweeping statement and not generally correct. My local hospice is NHS and is not as described by you at all! :mad:

Patients don't just go when time is very short but for periods to get pain relief optimised before returning home to live often for relatively long periods. I have never confused them with nursing homes which are very different indeed.

Personally I think that the NHS should be very much involved in hospice care.

Mrs_pbradley936

Torry_Quine wrote: »

That's a sweeping statement and not generally correct. My local hospice is NHS and is not as described by you at all! :mad:

Patients don't just go when time is very short but for periods to get pain relief optimised before returning home to live often for relatively long periods. I have never confused them with nursing homes which are very different indeed.

Personally I think that the NHS should be very much involved in hospice care.

Then we must agree to disagree - I am on the fund raising committee for a Hospice and I would walk away if the NHS became involved.