Babies aren't *that* expensive....are they?

Naetha

Hi folks, I'm 22 weeks pregnant with a little boy, and very excited about the whole thing (although rather terrified as well!). Me and the feller have been together for 7 years, married for 3 and this is our first.

Now I understand that our lives will change forever when the little one comes along, however people keep on telling me how expensive babies are, and how you never have enough money with a baby, but personally I just don't get it.

My feller earns £27k and I earn £22k before tax, and I'd say we are very comfortably off - we have a nice house (£145k mortgage, paid off at £950 a month) nice things, nice car, but generally a fairly low-key lifestyle. We don't drink that much, go out that much, spend loads on designer clothes etc. We currently have about £400 a month left over after all our regular outgoings which goes into our savings, as well as a regular saver of £250 a month which still has 18 months left to run. We also have £60k in savings which is ring-fenced to pay off a chunk of our mortgage when we come out of our tie-in period in 2.5 years time. We don't have any debts other than the mortgage.

I don't understand why the cost for babies comes in so high? Budgetting on using disposable nappies (although I'd like to move onto re-usables after a couple of months) which seem to be the greatest "running cost" I don't see where the great expense lies? I won't be splurging on designer clothes - until the kid starts complaining about having to wear hand-me-downs (like I did!) we'll be getting clothes from charity shops, Ebay, freecycle and friends and relatives. At the end of the day I don't like paying for stuff that will only be worn a couple of times! My parents have very kindly offered to buy us a car-seat and buggy (travel systems look too cumbersome to my mind), and help us out with other big expenditures as christmas and birthday presents (high chair, cot etc) and I already have three bags full of clothes, toys, blankets etc from my sister. Am I missing some huge expenditure? Although I'm planning on breastfeeding, I can't see a great expense if I can't, although I really will try! If you don't buy designer baby gear, don't splurge on "oh isn't it cute" stuff (sorry, I don't do cute) and are practical and sensible most of the time, can they really be that expensive in the first couple of years?

Of course I will be taking a big pay-cut from approx £22k to £8k in the first year, but my feller is due approximately a £3k pay-rise in the next 3 months - now I know this can't be relied upon, but is as certain as things are in this world! This will be partly made up by the fact that we won't be going out as much (either meals, concerts, drinking or weekends away) and we won't be having a big holiday next year.

Apologies for rambling - can someone reassure me that my ideas for how much things will cost are about right, and if not, point out where I'm going wrong! I don't see how something so small has to be so expensive!

miserly_mum

First of all CONGRATULATIONS!!!!.Read your post and honestly you've got it all sussed already.Babies are as expensive as you want them to be.I've had six children (18years --18 months) and can't really see why people complain they can't afford a baby.Pram is about the biggest expense and if your mum is buying that......lucky you!!! Babygros and cardies is all they need for first few months.Can Mum knit aswell? Even dispoables aren't a big expense. My youngerst boy uses less than a pack a week and he's now 18 months.If you shop around for offers or buy Asda or tescos own brand they work out a fiver or less a week. I love the idea of re-usables but can't be bothered with all the extra washing. Moses baskets are brilliant for when they are tiny but second hand ones are fine.After all how much abuse can a baby give a Moses Basket? If you don't bresat feed or (can't) probably Baby Milk would be the biggest expense for first few months cause they waste more than they drink. Even stuff like toiletries are ok.If you use the head to toe stuff a bottle lasts for weeks.

nzmegs

no they are not expensive....if you breastfeed, that is free (do it for 12 months like I did and you will save a packet in money and time!) If you go for disposable nappies then remember that babies do not need changing as often as you might think. Change after number twos, but a good nappy will absorb number ones really effectively. Lining a nappy is a good idea too, simply throw the liner and providing the nappy is still clean then your ok for a while longer. Buy them in bulk too from places like costco.
Clothes - ebay is brilliant for bulk purchases of baby clothes (second hand) they are usually pretty much unworn as the baby grows out of stuff so quickly.
Don't skimp on the car seat as i foun d it useful both in the car and in the house. One that rocks is best.
You don't need baby wipes either - a warm damp flannel is fine and probably better for their skin.
Don't fall into buying the best of everything. Work out what you will use for the longes time - the cot, push chair, car seat, Highchair bedding and spend more on getting those. Try to buy the ones that grow with the baby so you don't have to buy them again once they are toddlers.
Love and cuddles and having mum or dad at home most of the time is more important than anything else.
Financially you will be fine. Your income will be what ours was when our children were tiny and we paid similar mortgage and actually we did really well compared to others I knew.
You feel like you are paying out alot at first (setting up costs) but day to day costs really are negligable. The price of a couple of bottle of wine a week and one night out a month should about cover it - and as we all know once you have a baby you probably won't get out too often anyway!
Oh and birthdays and xmas - the baby will be spoiled by everyone who knows him/her so you can get away with not buying them much at all. Even my 8 year old doesn't notice our measly two presents amongst the 25 they have from other people. (they do say it is the thought that counts...)

Melissa177

Out of interest, why are you taking a big pay-cut in the first year? Do you get maternity pay from your company?

I understand if you are giving up your job, but you imply that you are not giving up your job.

The big expense that I can see, when the child gets a bit older, is childcare - at which point you may choose to stay at home instead.

Savvy_Sue

The big expense, when the child gets a bit older, is teenagers eating you out of house and home. Not to mention growing out of clothes at the same rate as they did as a baby, requiring a private taxi service, and general wear and tear on your nerves. :rotfl:

But I agree with the OP: the figures quoted in the media about what it costs to bring up a baby are tosh, absolute tosh, and mine have never (even now) cost anything like as much as they're supposed to.

Don't forget you can claim Child Benefit!

Naetha

First of all thanks ever so much for your replies - very reassuring! It gets frustrating when people keep on telling you how expensive everything is when I just can't see it! My sister had a real penchant for Silver Cross prams and outfits from baby Gap, but I'm not a brand aficianado, so as long as it works, I'm happy

Melissa177 wrote: »

Out of interest, why are you taking a big pay-cut in the first year? Do you get maternity pay from your company?

I don't get anything above the statutory from my company :rolleyes: so that's £112/week for 27 weeks plus 6 weeks on 90% pay. I do get a car allowance which is £250/month but I had forgotten about child benefit. Roughly how much will that amount to?

I'm planning on taking the full year's maternity leave - like nzmegs said I think it is important to be around in that first year; unfortunately after that I will be going back to work part time and having to pay for childcare.

The good thing is that once we've paid that £60k on to our mortgage, it will drop to a much more manageable level, which will be nice!

Melissa177

A thought: hasn't the statutory maternity pay gone up to 9 months now, not 6? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_leave

It sounds like you're doing all the right stuff - good luck with the pregnancy! I grew up on hand-me-downs and second hand prams, and it hasn't done me any harm

apples1

Congratulations!!

The biggest cost to us was losing my salary. I decided not to return to work after my year on mat leave. Best decision we could have made (no regrets) but also a very expensive one! I don't think you can plan for how you will feel once that baby is with you. My best friend was all set to be a full time Mum and not return to work etc etc but went back after less than a year for her own sanity!

When it came to it I could never have put my little one into childcare before she could talk so made the financial sacrifice and handed in my notice.

When she started nursery school just before three years old I got a job working mornings whilst she was in nursery. She starts school next week and I will be working from 20 sept school hours rather than returning to my pre-baby full time career. I hadn't planned for that either - always assumed that once she went to school I'd go back to career but the reality is that if I did that I would not be the Mum I want to be.

You have done well with your savings. Keep at it whilst you have money coming in and just budget for keeping your options open. Not opening the "work vs full time Mum" debate here (as you can see I'm all for a bit of both!)but just advising you to do what you can in your planning that allows you to keep as many doors open as possible at this stage. I hope you enjoy the rest of you pregnancy.

I only have two other tips - start your mat leave asap and use the days to potter and nap. You won't get the chance again for many many years! Oh and take your own pillow with you when you go into hospital for labour. My luxury feather pillow was heaven compared to the foam covered in plastic ones!!

I was given many tips when I was pregnant and those were the best two!

Sorry for long and rather off topic post. Good luck

tottie666

i agree, i have just had my third and finally i have realised that i do not have to spend loads of money. Ebay and charity shops have been wonderful, got a high chair for 3.99 off ebay! bath in the sink in the bathroom, great. I am going back to work, so have found a 'cheap nursary' it is family first and part if the sure start program. It is a non-profit making nursery so do not over charge and let you pay by the hour so you don't pay for what you don't use. I can honestly say that it is also the best nursery i have found, i have used 4 others for my other children. ALSO look into busy bees nursery voucher scheme, i am saving £95 a month. good luck with your baby and get as much for free as you can!

demonicangel

nzmegs wrote: »

If you go for disposable nappies then remember that babies do not need changing as often as you might think. Change after number twos, but a good nappy will absorb number ones really effectively. Lining a nappy is a good idea too, simply throw the liner and providing the nappy is still clean then your ok for a while longer. Buy them in bulk too from places like costco.

Yuck Yuck Yuck.

A baby in a disposable still needs changing every 3-4 hours no matter what brand they are. Just because they absorb loads doesnt mean they dont need changing.

Using a liner? I can only assume you are talking about a disposable liner in Boots that absorbs? If not, then a paper liner? defeats the object of a disp. nappy really if you are using it to make a nappy last longer.

Op, congratulations, parenthood is great!

wendyl1967

check out nct nearly new sales

http://www.nct.org.uk/

see shop with us at left hand side. click on nearly new sales then put in your postcode.

I helped to run the Preston Nearly New Sale for many years when my children were younger. We only stock good quality second hand items and clothes as low prices. Worth checking out. They are usually held twice a year.

You don't have to be a member to go to the sales.