10 years of debt is enough... I quit!

kittycashcake

I think with the bride stuff if you say "I'm ever so sorry, I'm super excited to be a bridesmaid, but I'm struggling a little with my money so although I love you, it may mean I won't be able to do everything in the run up to the wedding. I know you understand, I know it's your special day and I will do my best to include myself in all the wonderful things planned."

Honestly if they don't feel humbled by that into being reasonable tell 'em to poke it. Friends are loved, warts (debts) and 'all. If she is a good friend she'll treat you as such.

God I sound like my nanna

hedgesparrow

Debt free by 2020 you sound just like me! I'm 30 something but my debt started at University and has ebbed and waned since then. My debt isn't huge but I'm still very embarrassed by it because it's proof I can't manage my personal spending.

I'm not going to overpay my student loan though. The government take dribs and drabs from my income and I'm just planning to let them do that for the rest of my working life! So you are more honest than me in that respect.

I'm subscribing and looking forward to reading your adventures. Good luck on your journey.

Debt_free_by_2020

AleMrsT wrote: »

Hi, I'm going to subscribe and follow your progress.
Happy new year!

I have been on here for a year and picked up some great tips, I've paid off a tiny portion of my relatively small amount of debt, but I think that some of the people with larger amounts of debt may be on better wages, have mortgages etc. Not all, and that may be a sweeping generalisation, but I guess the more you earn the more credit you can have, and so the circle continues.

A few tips that I have picked up on here that I use are as follows:
When you can, do a budget, even if its a rough guestimate at first. Look at your pay slip or work our your income from last month, and then your regular bills. Work out the difference between the two amounts, and allocate money to things you need that dont have a set amount. If you get into the habit of doing this each month, it kind of keeps you in check. Focus on the money you HAVE, rather than the money you owe, otherwise you will spend all the money you have paying back what you owe, and life happens and you then need to borrow more to pay for every day stuff.

Also, keep a track on here, every day if you can, of what you spend, and celebrate your no spend days, I can see you're already logging these. I've seen someone have a NSD target, so they would aim to have say 15 no spend days in a month, thats a great thing to aim for!
If all I spend in a day is bus fare to work, I count this as a no spend day as the bus fare is an essential (budgeted) spend.

Also, when you can, look at the interest rates on your debts first, not the amount, and concentrate on paying back the debt with the highest interest rate first, then the next one down and so on. EDIT: so looking at your signature, concentrate on the very one, paying minimums on the rest and paying anything extra to very. Will it automatically have no interest payable if you let it default? If so, then I'm inclined to agree with you to just let it default, but ALL of my accounts have defaults because of my DMP.

All of my debt is now interest free as unfortunately I had no choice but to go onto a debt management plan as my drop in hours meant I could no longer meet the minimum repayments. Opening a basic bank account, with no overdraft facility, is honestly the best thing I ever did. Have you considered opening a basic account, and having your income go into this, then treating your overdraft as a separate debt? It might be easier to keep track if your main account is always in credit (even if only by a few pounds on the run up to pay day).

Anyway, sorry if I've waffled on or none of this is remotely helpful.

And don't feel bad about the expensive wedding thing, my requirement for my hen do was 'not to expensive please'. My bridesmaid still fell out with me because the wedding had cost her too much and was too inconvenient and badly organised (her words!) you win some you lose some, you sound like an excellent friend and bridesmaid. Oh, and just because you're bridesmaid, does NOT mean you are obligated to attend every single thing that is planned!

Hello AleMrsT!

Thank you so much for your comment, sorry to be replying kind of late.

I'm closing in on a clear budget for each month as my Christmas related costs are no longer in the way and I can figure out better what my definite monthly outgoings are likely to be. I agree about not just paying down the debts and ignoring the fact that life happens, it's just more about limiting the damage to our finances when life does happen

I also like the idea of allocating about half of the days in each month to be NSDs. I've just totted mine up and I can't believe it but I'm on my 7th NSD so far and that excludes paying essential (budgeted for) bills online. I have not spent a penny since January 1st apart from a food shop.

All my Christmas money is sat next to my bed in a little savings pot and I don't intend to touch it at all. I know some people might say I should pay it onto my debts but right now I feel like in order to be even a little successful with this venture, I need to have a buffer that will help me adjust to spending less and living on a budget. I have changed it all up into notes so that I won't be tempted to 'borrow' a £1 here and there only to find a week later that I no longer have a penny to my name! :rotfl:

With the Very account, I've decided to let it default as paying it up to date before then would be impossible. I hate to say it but I've been burying my head in the sand for quite a few months now and the minimum payment asked for is something like £230 which I can't afford. They don't seem to have charged me a late payment fee or anything else since my last letter threatening default so I am kind of hoping this has been set in motion now and then I can offer them a payment plan of a set amount per month.

I have a similar arrangement with HSBC and although the idea of defaulting scared the life out of me at first I have to say that it was actually such a relief once it actually happened. The debt no longer existed in the same way in my head as I knew I was just chipping away at it slowly rather than trying to swim upstream against interest and threatening letters and phone calls.

With regards to opening and only using a seperate bank account, I have given this a lot of thought but haven't yet implemented it as I currently have a good relationship with my ban (ironic considering my debts) and don't want to rock the boat at this stage. I don't want Lloyds to request full payment of my overdraft in one go as that's what happened with HSBC when I stopped using them as my main current account.

Awh thank you, I hope so, I'm trying to be anyway :rotfl:After all, it's not my friend's fault I'm in debt lol.
Sorry to hear about your falling out with your bridesmaid! That sounds awful, I mean I moan about it on here but would never have dreamt of being awful to the bride during such a stressful time. It's not worth ruining a friendship over

Thanks again for all the advice

Debt_free_by_2020

kittycashcake wrote: »

I think with the bride stuff if you say "I'm ever so sorry, I'm super excited to be a bridesmaid, but I'm struggling a little with my money so although I love you, it may mean I won't be able to do everything in the run up to the wedding. I know you understand, I know it's your special day and I will do my best to include myself in all the wonderful things planned."

Honestly if they don't feel humbled by that into being reasonable tell 'em to poke it. Friends are loved, warts (debts) and 'all. If she is a good friend she'll treat you as such.

God I sound like my nanna

Hello again KittyCashCake!

I love the way you worded that and I think I'll be using it in the run-up to the wedding I did already explain in a bit of a vague way that I'm really broke at the moment and have to really think about spending on non-essentials etc as there isn't much left at the month for big one off payments i.e. hen weekend bookings or buying unexpected wedding related items (I have no idea if I have to pay for my own bridesmaid dress or if she will pay. The previous bride bought ours but not sure if this is the standard procedure or hit and miss depending on the bride?!).

My friend seems to have understood my situation and seems ok with me not being inundated with extra cash so hopefully we will muddle through somehow haha.

I've actually just paid her back for the hen weekend initial deposit as it was booked before Christmas and there was no way I could find £50 at a day's notice. I think this is the scary thing for me about weddings, people think that you also have a little wedding fund set aside to dip into at a moment's notice. We agreed to a compromise, she pay my deposit so we could book straight away and I pay her back at the beginning of Jan, everyone wins! Done and done

Debt_free_by_2020

hedgesparrow wrote: »

Debt free by 2020 you sound just like me! I'm 30 something but my debt started at University and has ebbed and waned since then. My debt isn't huge but I'm still very embarrassed by it because it's proof I can't manage my personal spending.

I'm not going to overpay my student loan though. The government take dribs and drabs from my income and I'm just planning to let them do that for the rest of my working life! So you are more honest than me in that respect.

I'm subscribing and looking forward to reading your adventures. Good luck on your journey.

Hello Hedgesparrow and thanks for subscribing!

I'm with you on that, it is embarrasing to admit not being a proper fully functioning grown up who has a grip on their own finances. It's not really about the amount of the total debt (although that definitely comes into it) but just the fact that it's there at all, and from sooooo long ago too!

Ha well we'll see how the student loan overpayment situation goes but it's not my priority so I'm kind of putting it on the backburner while I deal with the other debts first. I'm not absolutely desperate to pay it off speedily if 'life happens' as it's such a low interest.

Having said that, I've been put to shame by someone younger than me who went to Japan for two years to teach English and earned enough money to pay her student loan off... in cash! She's about 3 years younger than me so I feel like a failure on all fronts whenever I think about that :eek::mad: :rotfl:

And on that depressing note, I shall sign off for today and catch up in a few days to let you all know how I get on with my NSDs. Thank you all so much for the lovely comments, support and advice

kathrinehess

My friend also had the same story but then anyhow he started working and cleared his dues.so i wpuld suggest you too to start working and clear it all.

kittycashcake

Popping by to see how you are doingxx

Debt_free_by_2020

Hello Kittycashcake!

Thanks for checking in I was just thinking about writing a little update last night actually but decided against it because it's been a whole month since my last one and I couldn't face writing a long old summary haha.

I haven't updated my figures for the last month regarding debts paid and money spent etc yet but I'm doing that this week.

I've spent the last 2 weeks at my mum's which wasn't planned meaning my spending is maybe a little off for January :eek: I've spent time with old friends I haven't seen in months and that has meant a couple of dinners out not budgeted for but on the other hand I haven't had to buy any weekly groceries etc whilst being here so it might all just even out in the end. One can hope! We'll have to see what the receipts say when I sit down and tally them up.

Either way, it's been a much needed break as I've been a little low these past few months and now I'm feeling refreshed and ready to get back to the daily grind. :j

I spent the last 3 weeks of January applying for a Master's degree course which was way more stressful than I expected but I'm happy with how it went and, even if I don't get onto the course, I'm pretty proud of having applied for it and finally ticked that off my 'to-do' list (I've been umming and ahhing about applying for it for years now).

With regards to the wedding stuff this summer, I got to try on my bridesmaid dress and I love it so that's a nice positive note Now I just have to make sure I either lose a bit of weight or stay exactly the same size as I am at the moment for the next 6 months so I fit into it on the day haha... No pressure! :rotfl:

I've also just found out that some inheritance I have been waiting for has been finalised and I'm going to be gettig that over the next month or so meaning that it will help make a little dent in my debts. Although it is a fairly tiny amount so not a significant help in the grand scheme of things but every little bit helps out.

How is everything going with you all? I haven't really been on MSE forums for 4 weeks now so am extremely behind with everyone else's diaries I'll try to catch up on them this week.

Debt_free_by_2020

Soo... Yet another month and a bit has passed by and I have 'forgotten' to come and check in on here with you guys. I have actually been super busy with some job interviews and the second part of my university application (terrifying phone interview and last minute timed essay!) but am now back on track with real life.

I'm in the process of waiting to get official confirmation of my university place and a new job which I was recently offered. I'm so so so excited about going back to Uni, sounds crazy to some but I love it. On top of that I'm really hoping that all the paperwork will be ok for a new project contract I have been offered and which would basically solve all of my current money issues in the space of a few months.

The pay is much better than what I have ever earnt in my adult working life so if I get the job (hoops need to be jumped through in regards to sorting it out as the pay comes from a different department to the one I would be working at) I will be able to pay off my worst debts this summer. I'm trying not to get too excited and start spending money I haven't got yet but I can't help thinking how much it would change my life.

The first thing I would pay off would be my credit card with Lloyds! I'd still keep the card as it is the lowest interest credit card I am ever likely to be offered due to my credit rating but at least it would be paid off and not accruing interest.

The second thing I cannot wait to do is pay off the part of my overdraft which I am currently being charged interest for. I think as a graduate I am allowed to have an interest free £1000 overdraft with Lloyds but mine is currently £1500 and I pay about £29 per month for the priveledge! I cannot wait to get that overdraft down to £0 and know that everything in the account is all mine!

That £4000 paid off my debt in the space of this year is actually looking really really possible so everyone have your fingers crossed for me that I get the job and can claw my way back to financial civilisation in the next 6 months before Uni starts and I won't be able to work full time anymore.

Debt_free_by_2020

News in coming!

So, where to begin... Probably should start by apologising for the prolonged absence and (unsurprisingly) my current status as a 30 year old who does in fact NOT have their s*** together financially. Basically, the long and short of it is that yes, I did get the job, and yes, I did get onto my MA course, but no, I did not pay off all of my debts due to a range of tedious reasons including a 3 month unpaid internship abroad. University is expensive but the financial situation is better than before because many of the accounts which were drowning me in interest have now defaulted meaning that all payments I put towards them are actually paying them off instead of keeping me afloat at the most basic of levels. University is going great and I feel positive about the future so that's always a win

I've been meaning to come back here over the past years but really couldn't face doing it til I had actually looked at my debts properly and had a plan in place.

News bulletin over... as you were!