10 years of debt is enough... I quit!

Kitten868

You need to let the reason for the debt go and not keep thinking I'm bad with money. This is my big challenge too. Now you are accepting that your going to change your attitude to money and pay off this money you owe. It's impossible to change overnight and slip ups aren't the end of the world. You can do it! You have addressed your areas to cut back on which is brilliant
I hate the new attitude to weddings. They've proven if you spend over £12k you really likely to get a divorce, spend less and your marriage is much more likely to last. And 'I'm getting married so everyone should spend a bomb too' is so annoying. And that person who pulled out should pay - not you! 2016 you're going to kick this debts !!! Xxx

Debt_free_by_2020

Kitten868 wrote: »

You need to let the reason for the debt go and not keep thinking I'm bad with money. This is my big challenge too. Now you are accepting that your going to change your attitude to money and pay off this money you owe. It's impossible to change overnight and slip ups aren't the end of the world. You can do it! You have addressed your areas to cut back on which is brilliant
I hate the new attitude to weddings. They've proven if you spend over £12k you really likely to get a divorce, spend less and your marriage is much more likely to last. And 'I'm getting married so everyone should spend a bomb too' is so annoying. And that person who pulled out should pay - not you! 2016 you're going to kick this debts !!! Xxx

Thanks for your reply

Yes I completely agree with you about the wedding stuff, I don't know when it became the norm to spend so much, and to expect everyone else to spend so much too! I don't know if I could feel comfortable expecting it from my friends if I were to get married. But that's completely beside the point lol. As for our dropout friend, I'm a bit disappointed that she has left us in the lurch when she could have just declined the offer of coming along when we first spoke about the weekend away. She is not in anyway obligated to be there as she isn't in the wedding party so the bride wouldn't have taken any offence. It's a shame as we could have tried booking somewhere else with a smaller group. Never mind.

I'm going to be keeping a spending diary from 1st January onwards to try and track what it is that I actually buy from the shops. I think it is mainly impulse buys so hopefully that can be reigned in a little once I notice what it is I'm impulsively buying for so much money lol.

Sadly enough I'm feeling quite excited to get stuck in and start tackling this debt. Weird...

Also, just a quick question in case anyone is an expert on these things, I think my Very account is about to default and I'm inclined to let it. I already have a crappy credit rating and history and have a defaulted overdraft that I'm paying off so I'm not worried about my credit score being tarnished.

Just wanted to know if anyone has any input on this? I can't pay it off in a big lump sum so either it defaults or stays as is and accrues more interest and gets worse... Don't really see any alternatives unless anyone else does?

Thanks

kittycashcake

Hello there, just a quick wave, having a lurk around the boards as I can't sleep!

Totally agree about silly money blown on weddings, we are getting married in 2018, I wish we could fill in a form and be done with it but the mister is a bit of a bridezilla and wants the whole shebang. I've put my foot down at 5k though which we will both save towards 50/50. Lunacy, but the things we do for love.

I've started out on my debt busting journey too, 10k to be found by the wedding and my 40th birthday..... Going to have to get comfortable with being frugally uncomfortable.

Kitten868

You see I think this is where I went wrong. I'm the first of my friends to be married but I'm well aware of expensive hen dos so I went local and cheap but fun. None of my friends yet realise about how expensive hen dos can be. They're on about Vegas when it's their turn! They just think about how cheap mine was. I tell you what else just had a friend get wed on a week day to save money. Cost everyone a bomb in lost wages! (Most of my friends are self employed). It was a Thursday so a hotel room and Thursday and at least Friday morning off!
I think maybe put all your receipts in a drawer and work it out end of the month? X

kittycashcake

We are getting married at the zoo we can have the onsite bar for £500 and everyone can feed the animals etc and keep the day really chilled out :-)

Kitten868

That sounds lovely kittycashcake I think weddings are expensive no matter what you do! But keeping an eye on the money and knowing that sugared almonds aren't the most important thing means you can keep some control x

Debt_free_by_2020

Hello kittycashcake, I didn't know you could get married at a zoo. That sounds amazing! I might steal that idea for the future actually!

I like what you said about getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, that's exactly what this is. It reminded me of something my personal trainer used to say when I was losing weight and something I still refer to when at the gym and finding it a challenge. I've never thought to apply it to my finances before though so thanks for reminding me about that. I think it will come in handy as a reminder that hard work pays off and usually (always, should I say) hard work is at least a little uncomfortable.

My PT also used to say that life starts at the edge of your comfortzone (not sure who originally said that) so although it might be easier in the short term to bury my head in the sand and ignore debts, I won't get to have much of a life in the long term if that's what I do. So, financial bootcamp commences right now

Kitten868 Ahh it scares me when people start planning trips to Vegas etc for the hen do lol. It shouldn't cost £1k to attend a hen weekend! My friend was a bridesmaid for her step sister in the summer and they went on a week's holiday abroad, I felt like that was taking it a bit too far for a hen do. I mean each to their own and all but it makes me feel like eventually people will have to choose on having a holiday they want vs attending a hen do for a close friend in the same year if they keep being this scale. Or worse, they'll have to put it on credit and get in debt for someone else's wedding which isn't really ideal either.

I had the same drama with a weekday wedding, Thursday as well. I'm not self employed luckily but a huge chunk of my holiday allowance for the year went on the hen weekend and wedding. We left for the hen do on the Friday morning and I sneakily booked the Monday and Tuesday off to recover from the hangover and to have an actual weekend before returning to work. Then for the wedding I had to have another 3 days off from work as we had loads to do and as a bridesmaid I was required to be on hand to help with bits as well attend the wedding and then have a day off work to nurse the hangover haha.

I must sound so negative about weddings, sorry, I don't mean to. I guess I just haven't had a chance to recover from one extremely stressful wedding before I'm spending money on the next one lol.

With the receipts I think that might be an easier idea, although I might have to do it on a weekly basis just to make sure I keep a close eye on my finances otherwise I might be inclined to fall of the wagon and just throw them away without a second look x

Debt_free_by_2020

Happy New Year everyone! :beer: :T

Finally, we're out of 2015 and I for one couldn't be happier. It was a mixed bag and I'm planning on leaving all the negativity of it behind. This year has so much to offer, so many things to look forward to and I want to take away everything I can from it and really enjoy life (withing my financial means of course ).

I just thought I'd do a quick update as today my financial bootcamp starts officially (this last week has been a sort of 'summer camp' before the real deal scenario) and I'm proud to say that my NYE was completely free! Yes, you heard me right. I've had a completely guilt free NYE and am so proud. I took out £10 with me in case I needed some money but haven't had to touch it at all.

I got a bus to my friend's house (used my monthly ticket - no extra cost involeved there) had a lovely dinner and then we went onto a house party where the booze was provided (I only had a glass of champagne at midnight) and there were even some fireworks. I am now staying at my friend's house and am getting a bus back home tomorrow after breakfast/lunch (depending on what time we all wake up).

It would have been a complete NSD had I not bought some chewing gum earlier ( how annoying)... Ah well, maybe next NYE will be a NSD instead but for now, I'm pretty happy with this achievement.

Hope you've all had a good night. I'll be back later to update all my totals etc on my signature as I've paid some bills and stuff yesterday.

Debt_free_by_2020

We're 3 days into 2016 and I'm feeling pretty proud of myself...

Day 1 & 2 were complete NSDs which was lovely and a completely new sensation for my bank account. Typically NYE results in a big dent in my finances and I end up dreading the bills due on January 1st (many of which usually go unpaid).

This year I stayed over at a friend's house for NYE (see previous post) and when we woke up on January 1st we all just spent the day in our pj's eating home-made pizza, pancakes and chocolate whilst watching Netflix. The perfect chilled out start to this year, and no money spent by me!

Day 2 was again another indoors day, I was just sorting out a few bits and bobs and generally being extremely lazy, again no money spent.

Today I had to go and do a food shop, although I did contemplate the idea of trying to make the basics in my kitchen last til Feb 1st as I think I probably could survive on plain pasta and rice (boring as it would be) until the end of the month.

However, I'm back at the gym today on a weightlifting and HIIT workout plan and proper nutrition is fundamental to being successful with that. I allowed myself a £40 budget and then panicked at the till because I had lost count of everything about halfway through the shop. I was so pleased when the cashier asked me for £42.50! I had added some cotton buds and make up wipes to my trolley so I'm going to put that slip up of the food budget down to those 'essential' items.

Other than my monthly food shop (couldn't be avoided sadly) I've had another NSD as I only went to the gym this evening. I feel very much on top of things right about now

Hope this continues for the rest of the month... and year

AleMrsT

Hi, I'm going to subscribe and follow your progress.
Happy new year!

I have been on here for a year and picked up some great tips, I've paid off a tiny portion of my relatively small amount of debt, but I think that some of the people with larger amounts of debt may be on better wages, have mortgages etc. Not all, and that may be a sweeping generalisation, but I guess the more you earn the more credit you can have, and so the circle continues.

A few tips that I have picked up on here that I use are as follows:
When you can, do a budget, even if its a rough guestimate at first. Look at your pay slip or work our your income from last month, and then your regular bills. Work out the difference between the two amounts, and allocate money to things you need that dont have a set amount. If you get into the habit of doing this each month, it kind of keeps you in check. Focus on the money you HAVE, rather than the money you owe, otherwise you will spend all the money you have paying back what you owe, and life happens and you then need to borrow more to pay for every day stuff.

Also, keep a track on here, every day if you can, of what you spend, and celebrate your no spend days, I can see you're already logging these. I've seen someone have a NSD target, so they would aim to have say 15 no spend days in a month, thats a great thing to aim for!
If all I spend in a day is bus fare to work, I count this as a no spend day as the bus fare is an essential (budgeted) spend.

Also, when you can, look at the interest rates on your debts first, not the amount, and concentrate on paying back the debt with the highest interest rate first, then the next one down and so on. EDIT: so looking at your signature, concentrate on the very one, paying minimums on the rest and paying anything extra to very. Will it automatically have no interest payable if you let it default? If so, then I'm inclined to agree with you to just let it default, but ALL of my accounts have defaults because of my DMP.

All of my debt is now interest free as unfortunately I had no choice but to go onto a debt management plan as my drop in hours meant I could no longer meet the minimum repayments. Opening a basic bank account, with no overdraft facility, is honestly the best thing I ever did. Have you considered opening a basic account, and having your income go into this, then treating your overdraft as a separate debt? It might be easier to keep track if your main account is always in credit (even if only by a few pounds on the run up to pay day).

Anyway, sorry if I've waffled on or none of this is remotely helpful.

And don't feel bad about the expensive wedding thing, my requirement for my hen do was 'not to expensive please'. My bridesmaid still fell out with me because the wedding had cost her too much and was too inconvenient and badly organised (her words!) you win some you lose some, you sound like an excellent friend and bridesmaid. Oh, and just because you're bridesmaid, does NOT mean you are obligated to attend every single thing that is planned!