Health & Safety Warning .....

thorsoak

Please be advised that all employees planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are required to undergo a Risk Assessment addressing the safety of open sleighs. Seatbelts must be worn by all passengers, with crash helmets a requirement in the absence of roll bars.

The assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers. Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all facility users are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks. The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that prior to shining his/her glory all around s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last year’s well publicised case, everyone is advised that legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr. R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift-bearing is commonly practised in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded under provisions of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act. Further, caution is advised regarding other common gifts, such as aromatic resins that may initiate allergic reactions.

Finally, for those involved in the recent case of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly.

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas – be safe out there.......

pickledonionspaceraider

Merry Christmas Thorsoak

System

This is like a thread i would make

libra10

Loved reading that


Merry Christmas!

FreeBear

thorsoak wrote: »

Following last year’s well publicised case, everyone is advised that legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr. R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

If you don't want to play games with Mr. Reindeer, you can find him along with his chums in a supermarket near you... http://www.lidl.co.uk/en/10984.htm?action=showDetail&id=28757 - Or for those with a more upmarket taste... http://www.keziefoods.co.uk/Catalogue/Exotic-Meats/Reindeer-Meat

msb5262

Thank you Thorsoak - hope you have a good Christmas and a very happy and peaceful 2016 xx

Torry_Quine

Brilliant :rotfl:

[Deleted User]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbejNNCTr7k

Tigsteroonie

thorsoak wrote: »

Please be advised that all employees planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are required

Chance would be a fine thing in this weather. We're more likely to be dashing down the road, in a convertible, sunglasses on ...

marleyboy

Its also advised that contents insurance does not cover open fireplaces and chimney stacks in the event of trespass. By allowing strangers into your property over the festive period will invalidate any claims of property damage or theft by the claimant.

Furthermore, that you must also have cover for anyone likely to suffer injury or harm from slippery surfaces, unlit areas and\or hazardous obstacles within the interior\exterior of the building likely to cause harm or injury to anyone entering the property via the roof or flue areas.

kingfisherblue

I think you forgot to mention the mandatory course in Lifting, plus the need for trollies, for those sacks that exceed the upper weight limit

And I almost forgot - what procedures do you have in place for 'signed for' items, leaving goods in a safe place, or with a neighbour?