Help & advice please... How does a Place become home?

selloptape

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

I think 'home' means different things to each of us. To me, it would be the reasons I moved their in the first place, ie to be near family, friends etc

Can i ask why you moved to that particular area? It sounds like your son has ties to the area, but maybe you don't

I would say after ten years, if it's not home, it might never be - and you should look to sort it if you're not happy - lifes too short

Thanks for your reply, I definitely moved for my son's benefit and it sounds daft but I didn't think of myself so much as I wanted to do the right thing for him.

selloptape

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Is it the house or is it the area?

Good point, thanks missbiggles1... Mainly the area but my new house does need a lot of work so might feel more positive once that's done.

selloptape

heuchera wrote: »

Is there another area you prefer and know you would be happy in?

I must admit, reading your post, I don't LOVE the area I'm in, either! It's very trendy but the people aren't that friendly and I don't have much in common with them. It used to be a nice sleepy little seaside town but it now attracts the slebs and the wannabes, people who are quite pretentious and up themselves.


I would ideally like to be nearer to family as I rarely get to see them, but they live near the Capital and I don't want to live there either :rotfl: I guess wherever you are there's going to be good and bad things about your situation.

Glad it's not just me

Also hadn't thought about areas changing, doh!

I'm not sure where I'd go, it's probably too early to say... I do feel more at home in a few places but it could just be a case of the grass always seeming greener, hopefully I'll figure out before moving :rotfl:

selloptape

jackyann wrote: »

Can I, given my work / financial situation realistically move, and if so where?
How would that impact on my son?

If you think that you can move and manage your lives, then begin to look around, not necessarily near your family, but somewhere that might suit better.

Thanks Jackyann, that's really helpful, it's probably not realistic for a few years. Also my son is at secondary, I don't want to disrupt his education even if I'm not super happy.

I'll start looking into other local areas now, that are still commutable for school, and try and put a further move on the back burner for a while.

selloptape

Moneyistooshorttomention thank you - I think I do need to throw myself into the community a bit more and try new things. My social needs are changing too now my son's older so less about play dates and more about doing things for me again

Callie22 thanks for your reply - Even though I've been here a while now I did bounce around a few rented places before buying last year. Maybe I'll be able to commit myself now that I've bought and it will start to feel settled

selloptape

britishboy wrote: »

My first house felt like home, even though I only spent 3 nights a week there while I worked away, it was peaceful, quiet and I only had 1 neighbour an elderly woman. I lived there for 3 years, and it was a 'home'. Don't know why though? My 2nd home I was in for 10 years and it never felt like home, it was close to where I worked at the time, and I let 2 rooms (maybe because of this it didn't feel like home?)

Home is a different meaning to all of us remember. We all have a favourite holiday destination (I have 3) that we call 'home', so personally I think home is the feeling you get

That's what I'm looking for... Might be a bit expensive to carry on moving house until I get that feeling again :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

GoldenShadow

I live in my second home I think. 'Home' will always be where I grew up, but even if I went back now it would never be the same. Where I am has positives and negatives, but I don't really fit in. I love the outdoors and the countryside. So do many here, but I chuckle to myself because their idea of it is so vastly different, where I am from is idealized in my head and like a much better land.

Grass is greener syndrome doesn't help either. Working opportunities are far superior here so that is why I will probably stay.

sharloid

I don't have anything to do with my neighbourhood/community. My home is my little fortress and all the things in it. Notably dogs, and pictures of said dogs.

bearcat16

It is an interesting thing.

Since we got married 14 years ago, we've lived in 5 houses, some felt like home and some didn't.

We lived in a big city for 6 years in a cosy little house that suited us perfectly. We didn't have much to do with our neighbours, but we were happy.

Later we moved to the countryside, a beautiful part of England, and while it was a culture shock, we quickly got used to it. Very friendly neighbors and vibrant little community, it started to feel like home in about a year.

Then we bought our first house last year in a lovely nearby village, a new build. We chose the one we wanted, and carefully decided every interior detail. We also came to it every weekend while under construction so we saw it gradually taking shape.

When we moved in, this house felt like home immediately. Also of course it was ours to do as we pleased for the first time ever. No landlord to worry about, could decorate or make alterations etc. That made it feel like home.

The next stage for us will be to buy some land and build our own house just the way we want it.

I actually think that 'home' is all to do with your own frame of mind. If you feel safe, secure and content then home can be anywhere.

And just the same, if you're unhappy in yourself, then even the most perfect house won't be home.