Everything Must Go!

princessmoo

Long time no rant!
Had a job, lost it. Turns out I get migraines from fluorescent lighting. My body truly is a whole bag of laughs. I've started an OU degree to keep me occupied during the day and I'm enjoying it. In an attempt to minimise my stress while I'm studying, I'm returning to the forums to document my journey and vent about daily life with a truck-load of debt.
Finally got the courage to talk to OH about a Trust Deed (I'm in Scotland, I don't know what the English equivalent is). Altogether our debts total around £15,500. I'm not proud of that (in fact, I'm hugely ashamed) but it's the first time I've not downplayed our debt and actually looked at the reality of the situation in a long time, so I am proud of that. Talking to Trust Deed Scotland on the phone cleared up my concerns about how long our credit ratings would be affected, whether we'd be able to keep our car and whether it will affect his employment in the future. I honestly think it's the right option for us, as we're struggling to keep up with minimum repayments as it is. Wish me luck talking to him tonight, I think he'll need some convincing.
This week's meals have been (mostly) yellow sticker and store cupboard affairs. Lentil bolognese, Linda McCartney sausage casserole and lentil and split pea soup with 19p reduced bread buns (back on the gluten) - whoever said veganism was expensive hadn't discovered dried beans and 7pm shopping! I'm thinking about starting a frugal vegan recipe blog of some description. Maybe something to look at once I've caught up on uni...

princessmoo

Well, after sorting out the trust deed it turns out our debt was actually just shy of £21,000. :eek: I've no idea how we managed to "lose" £5000 worth of debt, but there you go. We're set to enter into a Scottish Trust Deed lasting four years at £160 a month, after which our debt will be written off. To give you an idea, our loan payments and minimum payments on credit cards came to nearly £500 a month, giving us about £750 for rent, bills, food, petrol (£200 a month - we live a long way from work) and food and bedding for the guinea pigs. We were getting about £200-£300 further into debt a month just to keep going on basics pasta and yellow sticker bread. OH is struggling with it I think, but I feel like a weight has been taken off my shoulders.
Having said which, OH's work changed the day he gets paid with barely any notice, so we currently have £30 to last us the month (before the Trust Deed begins and no bills have been paid yet. :rotfl: We'll manage, we always do.
Veganism is still going strong! Lentils are my best friends.

princessmoo

As you can probably guess from my snazzy new signature, OH signed the trust deed yesterday. 48 months and all our debt will be cleared! Woohoo!
I'm still looking for a job. TBH it's hard not to feel a bit useless when you go for interview after interview and get told no every time. Ah well. It'll happen.
It's OH's birthday tomorrow, so I'm throwing him a very frugal surprise party. One slow cooker full of lentil dahl with white rice, some cheap DIY cocktails and a few good friends. Should be a decent night. (He still thinks my parents are coming to stay, and that's why we're getting the flat cleaned and the sofa bed set up.)

princessmoo

So. I got a job. Did the job. Quit the job.
Got a month's paycheck before I stopped being able to go in. I think this will be the last job I have for a while. I need to get my mental health back on track. That might mean a fair amount more time spent on here, though...
Not been the most thrifty the last few weeks - I think the novelty of having a paycheck that was my own went to my head - however, I do have a little money put aside now which feels nice. It's only £250 but considering I was hunting under furniture for coppers to pay for petrol this time last month, it feels pretty damn good. Most of it will go on petrol to get down to OH's parents in London next month, but at least we won't have to borrow it.
For now, I'm going to treat saving money and running the house as my job. Looks like I'll get my wish to be an old-fashioned housewife after all, hey?
Take care everyone. xx

princessmoo

Well, not much has changed since my last post - except moving 500 miles away to Somerset, moving in with my parents for a few months while OH started a higher paying job and agreeing to take on a teenager with nowhere else to go. Phew!
We move into our new house (house!!!) in a week and a half and I'm trawling gumtree for free and cheap furniture to fill it with. We got a beautiful velvet sofa for free that my Dad collected for us so we didnt even have to pay petrol. I'm going to dye the upholstery yellow to go with the rest of the 50s/60s furniture I've been collecting.
We're one guinea pig down which was heartbreaking, but I must admit I'm noticing the difference in my veggie budget - she was a chubby girl, bless her!
Our teenage lodger - or "V-Rex" as we call her - is my sisters girlfriend who's going through some family stuff. She's an absolute angel, but I've got to find a way to feed all three of us on one income. I'm fully embracing my role as homemaker and as ridiculous as it may have sounded to me five years ago, I actually hope I get to make homemaking my career for life. We were actually saving less money when I was working than we are now, so I think it might be feasible.
Next month is the anniversary of our trust deed. 1 year down, 3 to go!

princessmoo

So! An uneventful year so far, aside from me starting a degree and my partner starting another new job. We're thriving, we've continued to pay off our trust deed, haven't taken on any more debt (except student loans), my mental health is much better and I'm on new medication which is really helping my chronic pain issues. The message here is "keep going, even when it seems hopeless!", it's a marathon not a sprint etc etc.

milocat

Glad to read that your situation seemed to have improved, its always nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Less than 2 years for you to go now too and you will be debt free!

mumof3.12kindebt

Just read all your diary.
Well done on getting through those tough times.
Following your journey x

princessmoo

Well! This seems to be my catchphrase by now, but it's certainly been a while. Let's get the bad stuff out of the way first of all.
The degree didn't work out and put us in even more debt. The "higher income" OH was promised turned out to be less than we had previously been living on, and the much higher rent down south absolutely did for us. We ended up without a home and turned up at my uncle's house with a van full of furniture and had to start from scratch. Then - we did! I took a job for a few months to get a deposit together for a flat and keep us while OH had an unstable income. OH then found a permanent job with a much higher income and I ended up leaving my job again due to ill health. That was almost two years ago.
Now for the good bit. We are currently one month away from paying off the trust deed, and three months away from paying off my student loan. For the first time since we got together, we're doing Christmas without borrowing money or spending January's paycheck early. We live in a beautiful flat that's walking distance from OH's work so we don't need a car. My health hasn't gotten any better, but I understand my body a lot more now and can manage my energy levels better. I've started a business selling second-hand clothing and, while not wildly successful, it's nice to be bringing in money again without causing harm to my mental and physical health. We've both stopped drinking, OH has stopped smoking. Life is a lot more stable and a lot more comfortable now. We're actually planning to save for our wedding (subject to COVID) and a deposit to buy a house - not in a "maybe one day" way, but a "this is how much we'll have within a year" way. We almost can't believe it.
If you read some of my earlier posts and felt a bit depressed by it, just understand that I only really filled out this diary when I was at my lowest and needed to remember why I was doing this. I have had six years with the love of my life and I have learned so much about myself and the world. I am unbelievably happy and proud of myself, but more than that, I am grateful for everything we have. No matter how rough it got, we never spent a night without a roof over our heads, we never went more than a day without something to eat, we always had blankets and duvets when it was cold, and we managed to live a life that is more luxurious than that of most people on this planet.
Signing and paying off this Trust Deed is the best thing we've done. If you're struggling with your own debt-free journey right now, don't be too proud to look into debt management. It's not a decision to be taken lightly and it's not for everyone, but it is a morally neutral decision. You haven't failed, you're not lazy, and you're certainly not taking the easy way out. No matter how dark it seems, there will be a point in the future where you're making achievable plans and looking to the future not with trepidation, but with optimism. There will be setbacks - in our case, they seemed neverending - but the important thing to know is that as long as you are moving forward, you're going in the right direction. Baby steps seem tiny at the time, but they still get you where you need to be.
Now, I'm off to peel potatoes for dinner and finish this month's meal plan. Take care, MSE.