Can you designate your next of kin?

beccauk

I've posted on here a few times in the last year about my mum, who died January this year, leaving me with no immediate relatives. My more distant relatives are largely of the undesirable variety.

As soon as my mum died, I created a will to protect her assets from the rules of intestacy. My next problem is that I don't have an obvious next of kin, and looking at the algorithms used to work out who the next of kin is, you have to work quite a way up the list, and then the people it hits are people I don't particularly want anywhere near me.

Is there anyway I can specify this? I'm thinking more along the lines of who would be permitted to make funeral arrangements if I were to die. There might be problems with who could register my death, but I suspect those rules are rigid. I'm 27 and single, so for a while at least, I'd ideally like to be able to authorise a handful of friends.

Marktheshark

You will have a blood relative somewhere, without a will a will search firm will track down the next blood relative to receive your assets.
Its a blood thing not a friendship one and very few blood lines totally end.

TonyMMM

There is no real legal definition of "next of kin" in England/Wales - nor is there any rule/law that says your relatives, however near or distant, have to deal with your affairs after you die.

There are strict rules on who can register a death. In cases of people with no close relatives that can sometimes be a hospital administrator or any person "causing the body to be buried/cremated"....

If you have made a will, you can express your funeral wishes in that - presumably you have nominated someone to be your executor ?

You should make sure that person knows what you would like to happen.

greenbee

You may want to register a lasting power of attorney to nominate the people you would want to manage both your financial and health/welfare affairs in the event that you are unable to do so yourself. The attorneys don't have to be relatives (they could even be solicitors rather than friends if you chose), but they do have to sign to say that they have agreed to act on your behalf. This means that if it comes to switching off life support or similar, no random self-declared next of kin can turn up and claim to be acting on your behalf, as it will be the nominated attorneys who are empowered to discuss you with your medical team and no one else.

You can also appoint anyone you like as the executor of your will, and you can express your preferences for e.g. cremation/burial/composting in the will (although I have a feeling that's the one thing they don't necessarily have the authority to get done as you wish - but it will at least tell people what you want, and hopefully mean that no one challenges the executor's right to be the person to arrange your funeral - check with a solicitor).

It's also a good idea to leave letters saying what you'd want done in terms of care if you were unable to decide for yourself at the time, and details of what you would like for your funeral. They may not be legally binding but in the first case will carry a lot of weight with medical advisors and in the second will save everyone involved a lot of time, effort and worry.

PasturesNew

You can arrange your own funeral, down to the tiniest of details. You can also specify exactly who is/is not to have anything to do with your estate/stuff etc.

As for not liking your relatives - my mother used to say "God gave us relations; thank God we can choose our friends".

You really should look into family history - you might find a whole bunch of nicer people that are related to you. My mum's cousin does a tour of the UK every year visiting distant-relations; mostly it's the grandchildren and great-grandchildren of her own grandparents (my great-grandparents).

She discovered one young girl who thought she was all alone - her sister had died very young and her parents had passed quite young. She thought she was all alone in the world until my 2nd cousin contacted her and said "...are you the daughter of ....?" and now she's hooked into the wider circle.

My 2nd cousin also had a complete mad-cap moment. Her father had died when she was about 7 and her focus had been on finding out more about her father, who'd been a widower when he'd married my 2nd cousin's mother. She discovered her dad still had one remaining daughter alive from that first marriage - and living right in the "home town". She never expected that! She's in her 90s. They're now in touch and on the annual grand tour route.

Mojisola

beccauk wrote: »

I've posted on here a few times in the last year about my mum, who died January this year, leaving me with no immediate relatives. My more distant relatives are largely of the undesirable variety.

As soon as my mum died, I created a will to protect her assets from the rules of intestacy.

Do you mean you have made your own will?

My next problem is that I don't have an obvious next of kin, and looking at the algorithms used to work out who the next of kin is, you have to work quite a way up the list, and then the people it hits are people I don't particularly want anywhere near me.

Is there anyway I can specify this? I'm thinking more along the lines of who would be permitted to make funeral arrangements if I were to die. There might be problems with who could register my death, but I suspect those rules are rigid. I'm 27 and single, so for a while at least, I'd ideally like to be able to authorise a handful of friends.

In your will, who have you named as executors?

You can fill in a next of kin card for medical purposes here - https://www.royalfree.nhs.uk/patients-visitors/advice-and-support/next-of-kin/

SeniorSam

Hi Becca,

If you specify who will benefit from your estate in a well drawn up Will, you need not bother about 'Kin'. However, selecting a suitable Executor/trix is important and to have a 'fall back' position just in case that person died or decided not to act at the last moment.

You need to make sure the executor/trix you appoint is prepared to act for you and is prepared to deal with all matters concerning your funeral if required. You may wish to make a gift to them for acting for you.

With all the previous business you have had to deal with, these matters should be simple for you.

Good luck

Sam

TBagpuss

You can set out what you would want your funeral arrangmetns to be and who you would want to be informed in the event of your death.

It is sensible to have this information readily available - there is nothing wrong with having it in your will, but it's not uncommon for there to be a delay before a will is opened and read so in some cases the funeral will already have taken place before anyone starts looking for a will.

For that reason, once you have decided who you would want to deal with things when you are gone, that you make sure that that person knows what you want - keeping an up to date letter with your wishes set out and ensuring that the person you would want to manage things has a copy is one way of doing that. (and it is easier to update with changes to details than a will!)

Consider keping a copy of yur will and the lettter with other detaisl such as a list of your main assets and the names and addresses of people you would want to have notified of your death, and keep that somewhere fairly obvius labelled "in case of emergency" or something of that kind.

TBagpuss

For medical purposes, if you are admitted tio hospital you can give them details of who you considerto be your next of kin, and you can also carry a card in your purse or wallet with contact details

beccauk

Thanks for the replies - it's certainly a lot to think about.

My will names one sole executor who is also the sole beneficiery, with one substitution. I haven't mentioned any funeral arrangements on it, as, like has been said, sometimes it's not looked at. I plan to create another one in a year or so, which names more beneficieries.

I'll consider the Power of Attorney and also the next of kin cards. My situation is exactly as what greenbee said...if anything were to happen to me, a self-declared next of kin would turn up and start demanding authority. This particular relative has done this at every family emergency and seems to believe she is entitled to be in charge. Every issue the family's had, we've had to put her in her place first, and fix the chaos she's caused, which then delays addressing the actual problem.

Mostly I want to be in a position that the people who actually know me, and actually care about me (my close friends) have a clear and uninhibited pathway to deal with events should I die. I could outline a funeral plan, but that might go out the window if my blood 'relatives' somehow manage to take control. Of course, my twenty-something friends are reluctant to have a conversation about my death, because they 'don't believe it will happen', which is an understandable standpoint to take when you're young. However, seeing as my brother died, and then my parents died, I know full well it's possible.

RAS

Start with the basics; the next of kin card and the will. Then talk about the LPA; one person I knew was injured in a car accident and the absence of any NOK or LPA was a major issue.