How much do you spend on each of your kids at Yule/Xmas.

spiritwish

Christmas is unavoidably expensive at my house. I have 8 children. I set the limit at £100 each. As there are 20 grandchildren just on my side we all decided just to send cards to other relatives. I recycle the gifts the children in my class give me to use as stocking fillers for the older ones.

Mrs7ones

At the risk of making myself unpopular here, Spiritwish, I find it a little disapointing as a parent that you 'recycle' the gifts that the children in your class give you.
If my children knew that their teachers did that they would be devastated.
When my kids chose a present for their teacher (be it christmas or the end of term) there is an awful lot of thought goes into it, and they would be so upset if they knew that she gave the present away.
I appreciate that christmas can be expensive, but am just a little shocked that you do this. Sorry!

kay_da_gurl

If you love your kids that's the best gift you can give. No one can put a value on that so if you can't afford much don't feel bad

Amarillo

redmel1621 wrote: »

I have been reading this thread with tears in my eyes as this year I am so skint, my boys birthdays are in Oct & Nov (mine and Dh also Oct & Nov) with birthdays and christmas quite close I do struggle but this year has been really bad in one way or another. I will have barely £20-£30 for each of their birthdays and nothing aside yet for christmas I am hoping to have £80ish between them (although this is probably a bit optimistic). Normally I would only manage about £70-£80 each anyway But things are so expensive for kids now and I really feel like I am letting them down this year. I know a few of their friends come from well off families and will probably be spending (like some of the other posters here) huge amounts of money.
Mel x

I'm sorry to hear things are so difficult at the moment. It must be a struggle to have all those birthdays so close together. But you have been really sensible and worked out a budget so you know exactly where you at. Would it help at all to hear that my DS's favourite present for his birthday this year is a remote controlled Mini Cooper that his sister gave him - it was 99p in a charity shop. I then had to buy batteries but it did work out pretty cheap and he loves it. It's definitely worth scouring places like charity shops, Poundland etc, then getting cheap gift bags to put things in. There are loads of sales going on at the moment as well which will help what you have go a bit further. The children will be none the wiser and I bet you what they remember most in years to come are the little things you actually do rather than what they get.

spiritwish

Mrs7ones wrote: »

At the risk of making myself unpopular here, Spiritwish, I find it a little disapointing as a parent that you 'recycle' the gifts that the children in your class give you.
If my children knew that their teachers did that they would be devastated.
When my kids chose a present for their teacher (be it christmas or the end of term) there is an awful lot of thought goes into it, and they would be so upset if they knew that she gave the present away.
I appreciate that christmas can be expensive, but am just a little shocked that you do this. Sorry!

Well any situation has to be kept in perspective. I suffer from a skin disorder so if a child in my class brings in highly perfumed lotions I think it is better to re cycle them than not use them, dont you think? Think its always best not to jump to conclusions and judge people by simple facts. Of course, gifts from chidren are always special and much appreciated. Also the teaching assistant in my class is unable to eat chocolate because of dietary problems so we swap. I see no problem in that either. I ensure for every unwanted gift I put in as stocking fillers I pass on another to underpriviliged people - one that is appropriate to their needs.

spiritwish

The kids will not be disappointed on Christmas Day. They always know who loves them, and I'm sure they will appreciate what you give them. Dont be tempted to give them more than you can afford and dont compare your family to others. Your family is special and they will realise that thru the love and care you give them. Just do your best no-one can ask for more.

ceebeeby

We have 4 children between 19 and 9 ... about 4-5 years ago we literally spent about £500 on EACH of them, before having a lightbulb moment and realising that not only was this a complete waste of money but it was taking away the spirit and fun of the Christmas period, and putting a heck of a lot of shopping pressure on me (I hate shopping!). Since then we've gradually dwindled it back to approx. £150 each, and one 'family' present (e.g. last Xmas we got a Wii) for Xmas and approx £150 each for birthdays. But I have to say, it doesn't buy a lot ... it was my 14 y/o birthday not long ago and she had in a longstanding request for an Ipod (very small box!!), I managed to get 20% woolies discount on it, but with that, a CD, her fav. expensive shampoo, a couple of books and an obligatory box of maltesers, I was £10 over the budget ...

ceebeeby

redmel1621 wrote: »

I have been reading this thread with tears in my eyes as this year I am so skint, my boys birthdays are in Oct & Nov (mine and Dh also Oct & Nov) with birthdays and christmas quite close I do struggle but this year has been really bad in one way or another. I will have barely £20-£30 for each of their birthdays and nothing aside yet for christmas I am hoping to have £80ish between them (although this is probably a bit optimistic). Normally I would only manage about £70-£80 each anyway But things are so expensive for kids now and I really feel like I am letting them down this year. I know a few of their friends come from well off families and will probably be spending (like some of the other posters here) huge amounts of money.
Mel x

Hey Mel, First (((((Hugs)))))

There must be a better system for Christmas present distribution, for families in circumstances similar to your own.

I know from previously working in a Children's Hospital, that come early December the hospital is overwhelmingly inundated with donations of presents to the point where there is no chance that they can be distributed amongst all the kids and it becomes a nightmare for storage etc. We used to struggle to know what to do with all the very generous donations (imagine 3000+ presents of between £5 and £50 value!). Also, many of the children who do stay in hospital will already be given presents by family.

I'm almost thinking aloud, but a lot of those donations come from local organisations (churches, companies, youth groups) - it would be great, if there could be some sort of balance to the distribution (i.e. some sort of regional / local distribution centre, where families, hospitals, care homes, refugee centres could put in a request for a gift for a child / children - not specify the actual gift, but just say a gift for a 3 year old for example, although if you did have a specific request and this could be fulfilled, why not. The purpose being so that the ones from the local community who really do need the support at Xmas could benefit. I don't know off of the top of my head how this could be managed appropriately, but I'm sure there must be a method of ensuring the message to both contributors and benefactors of the benefits of such a project would make such a move worthwhile.

I'm still thinking aloud, and recalling some of those many gifts we've bought the children over the years that have never been out of the box - what a fab way to 'recycle' unwanted gifts for the following years.

Following on (sorry, this post is going to be way long now), I'm trying to think of a way that this could be done in an on-line way to anonymise it slightly for anyone who may be sensitive. I can see the huge benefits for the genuine requests but at the moment, I'm also seeing a pitfall from opportunistic people who are looking for a possible ebay sale ...

Anyone else think of a way this could be done?

Sorry - just realised, this sounds like I'm hijacking the OPs thread ... don't mean to do that, just trying to think of ways to help.

spiritwish

ceebeeby - I totally agree with you! There should be more community support! At the school where I teach (in a very deprived area) we set up pastoral support group. We enlisted the help of the associated local church and High School to help families who may struggle at Christmas for whatever reason (we do not judge) We ask the children to bring in small gifts eg selection boxes, toys, toileteries etc to place uder the tree. We usually target 30 ish families to gift these to. Staff contribute any gifts they are unable to use and send them with love to families who need them. My Headteacher is so committed to this idea she gives me time out of class to deliver the goodies to families who really need this help. The children get some fantastic gifts from the community and local retailers. It makes their Christmas. No child need do without if people know where the help is available - its just knowing where to look. Our families get food and gifts to see them through.

buxtonrabbitgreen

redmel1621 wrote: »

I have been reading this thread with tears in my eyes as this year I am so skint, my boys birthdays are in Oct & Nov (mine and Dh also Oct & Nov) with birthdays and christmas quite close I do struggle but this year has been really bad in one way or another. I will have barely £20-£30 for each of their birthdays and nothing aside yet for christmas I am hoping to have £80ish between them (although this is probably a bit optimistic). Normally I would only manage about £70-£80 each anyway But things are so expensive for kids now and I really feel like I am letting them down this year. I know a few of their friends come from well off families and will probably be spending (like some of the other posters here) huge amounts of money.
Mel x

Don't feel guilty. I don't spend much on mine at all. I have 5 kids , 3 of them grown up with partners and or kids so have a lot to buy for. The youngest 2 still at home get the most. Probably about £40-£50 worth. And not what they want ie laptops. I will probably give them the cash towards them in the hopes that they may save the pocket money, or get a paper round.