Separation and benefit advice

f0nz

I posted this on another board but was told I may get more advice on here.

Hi,
Hoping someone could possibly help as I don't really know what I'm doing. I'll try and keep things to the point and not too emotional but inside I am completely broken! Out of the blue my husband wants to end our marriage.

-We live in Scotland
-Have been with my husband 10 years, married for 9.
-We have 3 children (9,7 and 4 (5 in 3 months, will start school August 2016) )
-Last week he said he didn't know if he wanted to be with me any more so we separated for a week to give him time to think. He has now decided it's definitely over. Doesn't want to try counselling or anything.
-Over the years I have worked part time and been a SAHM to look after the children. I lost my father 5 months ago very suddenly so stopped working. I then found another job for 3 months but was let go a couple of weeks ago due to the business failing.
-Husband works full time and has a very secure job.
-Living in rented accommodation but the tenancy is in his name, myself and our children are permitted occupants. It's a short assured tenancy which was originally for 12 months and has now moved to month to month. Rent has always been paid on time and we've never had any issues.
- I receive child benefit every 4 weeks but that is my only income.

I went to see CAB today but they weren't of much use to be honest. I was booked 2 appts for next week. 1 with a budget counsellor, which in all honesty I don't think I need as I know how to budget and how much our outgoings and everything are etc I just don't have any money. The second appt is to see a benefits advisor. I cannot have the second appt without attending the first so, fair enough.

I know things take time but a week of not knowing what I can do/should do etc is extremely stressful. I suffer from depression and anxiety at the best of times and I'm trying very hard not to fall apart but I like to have a plan and know my children will be affected as little as possible.

I have seen my GP And have put the ball in motion to get counselling as I need to stay strong for my children.

I had an interview before all of this blew up and I'm still waiting to hear back. They said it might take some time as they need proof of right to work in UK before any offers could be made (I am born and bred here, it's just a necessity for them to be given the go ahead from an external source).

I have never been on benefits before and don't really have a clue. I have done an online calculation as to what I may be able to claim but again don't know if I can claim now as the tenancy is not in my name (housing benefit). My husband is still technically living at the address as we don't know if it's more beneficial for him to stay there or me as I don't know if I'll be accepted to be able to take over the tenancy agreement due to my situation. If not then I have nowhere else to go and I would rather not have to live with him as it will extremely hard.

If anyone could offer me any help or advice I would be extremely grateful! If I've left any important details out please just ask as I'm not sure what info is needed.

Thank you

NYM

I'm so sorry it must be an awfully stressful time for you x

I certainly don't have answers for you but if I were in your situation, I think the first thing I'd do would be;

Get a formal separation agreement in place.
Close any joint claim for Tax Credits and apply as a single parent.
The tenancy may be in your husbands name, but if you are a permitted occupier, you should be able to remain in the property. Have a word with your LL.
Apply for HB to cover rent/CT
Apply to CMS for maintenance payments from your Ex.

Do not allow your Ex to dither over what he wants to do. It takes both of you to make a relationship. Tell him you're going to give it a go on your own. Put him on the back-foot now...

pmlindyloo

There is some really useful advice on CAB's website here:

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/scotland/relationships/relationship-problems-s/getting-divorced-s/

Even though the tenancy is in your husband's name then you have the right to stay in the matrimonial home. Your husband would still be liable for the rent but if he does not pay it then the landlord should accept payment from you. Of course your landlord may not want you to stay there and could give you notice to leave. The rules are different in Scotland so if there are any problems with this when you speak to the landlord then you need to take advice from CAB. Hopefully the LL will be accommodating. It will be far easier (in my opinion) for you to stay put with the children so not to disrupt their lives too much but of course in the long term it may depend on how much the rent is.

If your husband does move out and the landlord allows you to stay then you would be eligible for Housing Benefit. It may be a little complicated as the tenancy is in his name but the council should be used to this scenario.

As with everything the key to a relationship breakdown is communication. From what you say, your husband should be willing to sit down and discuss everything with you and, at least at this time, make some arrangements so you can both move forward.

At the moment you are eligible for Income Support as your child is under 5 years. Once he/she turns 5 then you will be expected to claim Job Seekers Allowance. If you have no savings/assets then you would be eligible for Income Support and later JSA which would give you automatic entitlement to HB and CT support. If you haven't claimed HB in the last year then you would be eligible for the full rent for 13 weeks (protection period) which is given to allow you to 'get on your feet'.

Also you would be eligible for child benefit and child tax credits. You need to notify these departments of a change of circumstances and or apply for child tax credits as a single claim.

So, in short (presuming you have no savings/assets) and when you have 'officially separated'

apply for Income Support
apply for HB and CT support (may be done with your IS claim) Ask about the 13 week protection period
apply for child tax credits as a single claim
agree some child support (this is not counted for benefit purposes)
agree child contact/visiting

Notify everyone as per the CAB link and make sure your OH and you have totally separate finances (ie. nothing of his must be linked to your address)

These are the immediate things to do.

After everything has 'settled down' then you can finalise everything formally and start thinking about working. Just give you and your children (and your husband for that matter) some breathing space.

TELLIT01

Although you will only have entitlement to Income Support for a short time you need to get the claim in. They will allow backdating for a maximum of 4 weeks as long as you claim within 4 weeks of separation.

f0nz

Thank you all!

I called the estate agency we rent through and they're fine with transferring the tenancy over to me, my husband just needs to write them a letter. I didn't mention anything about housing benefit and they didn't really ask. They just asked if I'd be able to afford the rent and I said my husband would be helping which isn't exactly untrue.

I called JCP and have started a claim for IS and housing benefit. No idea if the housing benefit will go through though as I won't technically be liable to pay rent until 20th January as that's when the lease is changing but I'm hoping they will understand the circumstances. I also called tax credits and have opened a new single claim.

Hopefully that's everything in motion and can be sorted out so I can stop worrying so much! It's all so raw and difficult. The children don't know yet so that will be the next hurdle and I'm really not looking forward to it.

BigAunty

f0nz wrote: »

I called JCP and have started a claim for IS and housing benefit. No idea if the housing benefit will go through though as I won't technically be liable to pay rent until 20th January as that's when the lease is changing but I'm hoping they will understand the circumstances. .

I don't know if you mean by 'they', the landlord or the council.

However, do Avoid rent arrears at all costs. The Shelter Scotland website will you info on how to deal with them.

I believe it's possible to get an interim housing benefit, called something like 'housing payment' by requesting it two weeks after you've submitted all the correct information and paperwork. Hopefully another poster can confirm if this is the case and what the process is.

One reason (among many) that landlords are reluctant to accept HB claimants is that if there is an issue with the HB claim, the rent can go unpaid but a tenant is contractually obliged to pay x sum on x date.

xylophone

Husband works full time and has a very secure job.

So he will wish to support his children through this stressful time which has arisen because of a choice that he has made?

You need to get his assurance that he will be paying the bills and rent until such time as you have other arrangements in place?

No doubt he will be paying maintenance for the children after he has left the marital home?

marliepanda

Am I missing something but why is your youngest starting school when they are 5 and a half?

Compulsory school age is 5 (unless it has recently changed?) , and they could have started already As they turn five this academic year. That would free you up for a little bit of part time work if you're worried about costs.

tboo

From google
Children in Scotland must start primary school in the August term after their fifth birthday. This generally means that children start school when they are aged between four and a half and five and a half. Education authorities can make arrangements for children to start in the August when they are four, if they will turn five by the end of the following February.

f0nz

marliepanda wrote: »

Am I missing something but why is your youngest starting school when they are 5 and a half?

Compulsory school age is 5 (unless it has recently changed?) , and they could have started already As they turn five this academic year. That would free you up for a little bit of part time work if you're worried about costs.

The cut off date for school enrolment was 3 days after his birthday meaning that he could have either gone this year or next year. We had him down to go to school this year but after a progress meeting with his nursery key workers they thought it would be much better for him to defer entry until next year as he didn't seem ready. It's not uncommon for children here to start school after their 5th birthday. It had nothing to do with thinking about money etc as we were comfortable at that time, it was purely for his best interests.

I am also looking for work currently. I had a job until recently so it's not a case of me not wanting to work it's just the circumstance I have unfortunately found myself in at present.

f0nz

xylophone wrote: »

So he will wish to support his children through this stressful time which has arisen because of a choice that he has made?

You need to get his assurance that he will be paying the bills and rent until such time as you have other arrangements in place?

No doubt he will be paying maintenance for the children after he has left the marital home?

He will pay until things are sorted, however, if he finds a property before hand (I don't know how long claims take to process) then things will be extremely tight trying to run 2 households on one wage. He will be paying for the children yes. He is a very good and loving father so I have no doubt he will always have their best interests in mind.