I'm spread a little thin these days - how do you do it?

HappySad

Hi Gingham we are now in Feb & your baby is older how's things with getting everything done & to have time for children , yourself & husband.

I'm in the same boat with 2 young children 8m & 4years. I read a few time management books & spent ages focusing on making more time. these are the best books
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Time-Management-Manic-Allison-Mitchell/dp/1401911234/ref=pd_ys_iyr14
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Time-Live-Steps-Taming-Harrold/dp/0340837055/ref=pd_ys_iyr32


I learnt to do things faster, consolidate tasks, multi task much more, do less stuff & delegate even more to others.

e.g Dinner cooked from scratched is always under 30mins prep time & in between watching over the food with the occasional stirring I would wash the dishes & baby bottles. Main Food shopping is monthly online instead of several times a week.. I fill the freezer & cupboards... I still to regular fresh veg & diary shops but no longer need to buy the big stuff anymore. Monthly gardener & Window cleaner & wait for it an every 2week cleaner to thoroughly clean the whole house. Informing friends & family about stuff or arranging visits via email or text - don't spent 1hour calling everyone, you can speak to them when they come over to your place or you visit them . No ironing.. just buy clothes that dry without a crease. Read to both children @ the same time. Teach son to put on his socks + shoes + coat in the morning.. needed to do this to survive the morning getting rush. bulk make baby food & freeze. Buy online when I can
to save time going into town to shop. Using MSE reduces time deciding what is the best to buy. Buy 1 year supply of stamps, envelopes, birthday cards, saves numerous visit to pot office. I invested in a large hand held upright cordless hoover to allow me to regularly hoover the living/dinning area quickly without having to get the big hoover out. http://www.currys.co.uk/martprd/store/cur_page.jsp?BV_SessionID=@@@@0400653923.1202570021@@@@&BV_EngineID=cccdadedfhgmjhecflgceggdhhmdfho.0&page=Product&fm=5&sm=6&tm=2&sku=068198&category_oid=

Keep a todo list and only go shopping when I have lots of things to do all at once rather then many individual visit to the shops.

With absolutately everything you do try to think of how you can save time in that task.

buxtonrabbitgreen

Hi Gingham
I have always been so impressed at how you cope. All the meal plans and everything. I agree with everyone else you can't do everything at once. I too had babies in pairs a year apart. And with the first 2 I was still trying to get the first one to walk when the second was born. But ended up having to lug them both about for a few months.
Slings are good. One of mine was very moany (well 2 really) and I have made pastry, mowed the lawn etc all with them in a sling.
I second the playpen so you can at least deal with one of them while the other is safe.
With the last pair of kids, I never even got out of the house till afternoon. As soon as I changed ones nappy the other would want feeding, then the first would need feeding, then the other would need changing. etc.
I only got out one morning a week as I ran the mother and toddler group ha ha. And usually arrived with kids in pyjamas and coats and dirty nappies.
It's the same for all of us.

suzywoozy_3

When mine were young I found the most stressful time was dinner prep time in the afternoon. I found the best thing for me was to do all I could in the mornings when they were all happier and I had more patience, so things just needed switching on/warming up in the evenings.

My oldest daughter used to love her bouncy chair when she was tiny and would sit in it and watch the washing machine, I could do the dinner then.

It took me a surprising amount of time to figure these things out DOH!

Olliebeak

One of my sisters - DS1 2 and a half - DD 11 months - DS2 newborn. That was almost 30 years ago and she has lived to tell the tale! No.1 was still in nappies and No.2 not walking when No.3 was born. She couldn't leave the house unless OH was present to help her. She had the two older ones sleeping in the same room with the youngest one in her room so there was an empty bedroom. She put carpet on the floor and some cushions around and lots of soft toys. When the kids became too much for her to cope she would [strike]dump[/strike] put the two older ones in there with the safety gate on, stick the baby in the pram, make a cup of tea and then sit on the stairs and phone me for support! My DS1 was 6, DS2 was 11 months and I was 7 months pregnant with DD. We laughed and cried and swapped horror stories for as long as it took to drink our tea/coffee and then back into action! Eventually, No. 3 graduated from pram to 'prison cell' (her name for it - not mine!).

She has a wonderfully supportive husband - he would come home from work and immediately start to cook the tea - and never a word of criticism from him. Have to admit that was something I envied her for - the support. Mine was never in work, wouldn't keep an eye on the kids and over fond of going for a drink - that's why he's the ex-OH :rotfl: .

I once accompanied her and her OH to the supermarket - what a laugh :rotfl: . A shopping trolley each - No.1 in one trolley with shopping behind him, No.2 in another trolley with No.3 in baby nest in bottom of shopping trolley!!! Couldn't trust baby behind No.1 - he would grab stuff off the shelves and throw it into the trolley :eek: :eek: .

But because they were all born so close together - guess what - they all started school within a couple of years :j and she was suddenly a free woman again. Well at least from 9 - 3 and apart from school hols.

The thing is, it's tough BUT it doesn't last forever and things are constantly changing. In 6 months time, hopefully things will be a little easier and in 12 months you'll be the 'fount of all baby-coping knowledge' and advising other young mums on how to cope. You just have to learn to lower your expectations for a short while. As somebody else said work out what comes first - toddler's rear! followed by the cat eviction and clean-up of puke (or you can guarantee the toddler WILL find it). Baby may cry but he won't suffer unduly if he has to wait a few minutes and the cat can fend for itself outdoors.

Gingham_Ribbon

Wow! Gosh, I remember this thread. How things have moved on! Thank you for starting it up again, happysad!

The 'baby' is now the toddler and the 'toddler' is SO grown up now and starting school in September! Things are SO different and it's lovely to see that. How fast it happens though.

Okay, here are some things I've found helped:

Oldest likes to help and is getting more reliable at doing so. So I involve him every chance I can.

I really tried to nurture a strong friendship between the 2 boys and they do love each other like mad, so bit by bit they are playing more together and as they do, I can whiz round and do stuff. Eg: I was doing the dishes the other day while they were peering through the catflap in the cellar door together and the oldest was saying things like: 'How many things can you see in that box, Jim?' and 'Mind your fingers on that.'

I have emergency jars of baby food for when I can't be supermum and I Don't Feel Guilty!

I accepted that it takes longer to get ready to go out and just gave myself more time to do it. But now the oldest can largely dress himself and if he chooses some odd looking combinations, I just don't care. He's doing FINE.

I put the youngest in his high chair to play occasionally. I either give him some yoghurt or something equally messy to squidge around in and get into his mouth (and everywhere else) or some finger food like raisins or sandwiches or I give him a wooden spoon, then a metal one, then a spagetti spoon, then a tamborine etc...I just keep changing the scenery and I can get half an hour out of it, with a bit of chatting and singing in between.

I put a baby gate up. :rolleyes:

I got a great unit for storing toys in their bedroom and make sure everything goes in the right drawer at the end of the day so there is no mess in the evenings and I can relax.

I taught the youngest how to sleep using the baby whisperer and he's finally learned how and I am less tired.

I accepted that the baby would sometimes have to sit in his pram in the playpark and that was better than not going at all, then I found it was easier than I thought to manage them both together and the oldest can play much more independently now anyway.

I stopped trying to be perfect and realised I'm happy, they're happy, what more do we need?!

Thanks everyone for the support. It was pretty crazy there for a while!

pandas66

Happy Birthday junior GR!


Still enjoy them GRrrrrrrrrrrrr, you'll turn around and find them taller than you oh so soon!

Aril

Yes I went through something similar when I had to go back to work full time. The support on the thread was tremendous [as ever] and I found a way through. For me it was being realistic about what I can achieve in the time I have available, being organised/thinking at least a week ahead with a diary where I can make notes and look at on a daily basis to remind myself/having a regular routine, asking for more help at home and not expecting OH to know subliminally what I needed help with:D and battling with my perfectionist tendencies [still fight those but not quite so much]. I call it "short cut old style" ie I take the bits of it that matter to me and understand that I can never possibly do all of it.
Mind you I'd probably get more done if I spent less time nattering about it and more time getting on with it:rotfl: :rotfl: but hey wouldn't life be dull:D
Aril

coxy07

Children dont remember the days you mopped the kitchen floor, but they do remember the days you went to the park or sat and played or read books!!

daisymaisy123

For other young mums reading this: my saving grace was my hoover,I put it on one morning to do a quick dash around and had to leave it to answer the door and when I went into the dining room baby on the floor on a blanket and my toddler were both cuddled together and were fast asleep.
As the months went by when things were getting too much for me I would switch the hoover on at the lowest setting (white noise) in the hall and both kids would get a cushion each and lie at each end of the sofa and go to sleep.
I have a photo somewhere of them both cuddled up together.
They are 23+24 now and have been best friends all through, I am glad they were close together but it was hard work at the start.
Daisy

pavlovs_dog

kethry wrote: »

I'm not a mom so i offer this up tentatively, it may help, it may not, but it was prompted by something someone else said about making spag bol one handed.. LOL..

is it worth preparing a bunch of ingredients one night after the kids have gone to bed? i.e. the makings of, say, potato and leek soup, all bagged up individually and then put into one large bag, marked potato and leek soup, and put in the freezer? then you don't have to worry about chopping and can - literally - do it one handed. I'd imagine you can do this with a whole bunch of stuff, although some stuff may be easier just to freeze once its made, to defrost and reheat.

sound idea, reminded me of thriftlady's meal building blocks for the freezer thread



as for getting out the house, a very good idea that i came across on organizedhome when the boards were still active was the idea of a launch pad. a launch pad could be a cupboard, table, shelf, window ledge. it doesnt matter what it physically is, more how you use it. its the place where you put all the things that you need to take with you when you go out, so you are not running around the house trying to find your car keys, DS's reigns, DDs book bag for school etc. by putting everything ready together (and getting into the habit of putting the things that should live on the launch pad back there when not in use), you should be able to get out the door in half the time.


there is of course a security concern that should you locate your launch pad near an access point to your home, you shouldnt have keys, purses etc on show, in case of thieves. in that resepct, a cupboard might be best as it is more discreet