I'm spread a little thin these days - how do you do it?

organic_wanabe

Gingham, sorry I can't really offer advice as I only had one and DS is now 15 (and don't the years pass by just too quickly). However, I'm enjoying reading this thread and the lovely memories it evokes. DS also wanted to be walking around all the time, with me holding him up, and it was really doing my back in. Eventually I resorted to (borrowed) a babywalker which I used about 3 or 4 times a day for 10 minutes each time and what blessed relief it was. I suspect that they are now frowned upon but I think if used for short periods then they can be OK. He very quickly outgrew it in the sense that he started walking at just over 8 months. He rarely crawled so I'm not sure whether this is normal for tots who want to be up and on their feet. You're doing a great job - enjoy it!

Angelraesunshine

Oh no the torment is all flooding back my youngest is 3 1/2 now time seems to of flown, i b/fed him till he was 14 months.

Door bouncer ( means there standing) always worked good for me i could put it on kitchen door while i cooked and he was safe but could still see me while cleaning the house i used to play games with the Hoover like it would catch him. for your toddler i used to give them one of those fluffy dusters on the stick and get them to follow me round or do the telly for me or the coffee table worked with both girls and boys they loved the idea of helping me from and early age.

do you have a kitchen? or a bit of floor i used to give my toddler play dough to make dinner with while i was making dinner or do some colouring for me. or we used to play the shopping game (my sister game me that idea) ~ for example, give them a little bag not a carrier, to make dinner i need you to go shopping on my shopping list i need pasta you tell them to go into the hall way or another room as that is where the shops are they then pretend to buy food for you and put in there bag and come back when they have it then you send the for the next item.

As for when you b/feed yes a book is a good idea as long as your older one is not one for having to sit on your lap while you read as mine was so that did not work too well for me but i let her have tv time so it was special to her she got to watch her fav video or tv program for 1/2 hour, or i would lay a mat out on the floor and it is play dough time or something else a special toy. Try and take toddler to toilet be fore you start or is a good way to start encouraging him to wipe his own maybe offer sticker everytime he does it but of course it depends at what toilet stage they are at.

peachespeaches

I have a toddler and preschooler in tow. (age 1 and 4). How do I do it? Most of the time I dont! I just about manage. When youngest was smaller the two best pieces of kit were baby sling and DVDs.

The secret to my success now is DAY NURSERY!!! (not exactly money saving, just life saving). No I dont have loads of money, on the contrary we are quite hard up. But as I am disabled I get tax credits for childcare. They go 3 afternoons a week and sometimes I just collapse in an exhausted heap on those afternoons. Other times I catch up on jobs.

Remember all those horrid little jobs will still be around when the little ones have grown up and dont want to know you AND it doesnt last forever. I can vouch for that, this is my second family!

chatta

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

There are other threads about organising our time and I'd be a quivering wreck without flylady but I'd appreciate some more specific advice if you don't mind!

My baby has upped his game. He wants to be standing most of the time and that involves me holding him up. Do you have one of those walkers or bouncy gate chair thingys it saved my life and baby just wants to feel his feet, you dont have to be holding him up all the time x My toddler is really very good but he obviously wants to play too. Get older child involved let them think they are doing a really important job for you and they will happily play with baby x Cooking has always been something I've managed just fine but now I'm making meals for the baby too, obviously seperate to the rest of us. Why obviously, if you use salt then fair enough but one little saucepan amongst the rest isnt so bad. Chuck a couple of carrots and pots and a few peas and sweetcorn at end and voila baby dinner The house is messier, there are more dishes to wash up (especially as my husband now works from home) now that is hard I bet you feel like you have to be on your feet all day. there's more laundry, it takes SO much longer to get out of the house...how do you all DO it?! :eek:

I am trying to take everyone's advice. STOP then sounds like you are wearing yourself out. Do what works in your house x Last night when the children were asleep I prepared a huge pan of soup ready to cook today, peeled some potatoes to make tattie scones later, most of the baby's food is in portions in the freezer, blimey sounds organised to me, I never got that good I have a friend I'm trying to organise some babysitting swaps with so I can get a decent go at the housework once a week, I can live with a bit of a mess as the most important thing to me is playing with the children and being with my husband. My husband pulls his weight in the house and is great with the kids but he has to earn a living! And as he is at home all day to see how hard it is I bet he isnt moaning xx

Some specifics then:

toddler wants to read a book
baby is complaining that he wants to be standing up
if I don't get the dinner made everyone will be hungry and grumpy
What should I do?! :rolleyes: Baby in highchair, son next to him get him to pretend read baby a story, and all of this in kitchen while you get dinner ready.

Baby is being breastfed, toddler shouts that he needs help to wipe his bum the cat has just been sick. :rolleyes: Kick cat up !!!! and out the back door, wipe sons butt with one hand whilst breast-feeding :rolleyes:

How do those of you with little ones get out of the house in a reasonable order in reasonable time for anything?! I never did

I KNOW I can do this without everything falling into chaos, but how?!

Dont ask me Just remember its not forever xxx I would give anything to have those days again xxxx You poor thing you need a good nights sleep and a rest 2 little ones is no easy task xxxxxx If you lived near me I would babysit xxx

dolly_day_dream

Oh the memories, it was a very long time ago for me - my youngest DD is now 20.:o
I can remember that my main priority each morning was to make sure that I had dinner sorted and there were clean clothes ready after that it was whatever got done - usually not too much.
You see I had been given a poem at the time my first child was born which went something like

"I hope my children look back on today
and remember a mum who had time to play,
So hush down you cobwebs and and dust go to sleep,
Cos I am rocking my babies and babies don't keep"

There was something in there about dusting and cobwebs still being around when the children are grown. Trust me I know it doesn't seem like it now but that time just speeds by. Does it make a difference - you bet it does - my children have recently taken to thanking me for their upbringing which was very very short on money but overflowing with love and time for them. My daughter has said that it doesn't matter what economies that have to be made there is no way she will work, once she has children that is, when they are young.

By the sound of it GR you are doing a great job - keep it up it does get easier. Some of my friends with large families agree that this is the hardest time - 2 littlies - after that even 10 are not so bad:eek:

BTW my house is still a muddle but my children are still happy to bring their friends round.

lil_me

Oh honey how I remember those days. DS1 was 2 when DS2 was born so I remember it well. We also used to do the quiet time when feeding, or you can get them to play with other things like building blocks, crafts etc and just look on encouraging as they go. They gain a great deal of self confidence from playing alone as such but with hands off encouragement.

With housework -

I almost gave up ironing haven't really gone back to it. Everything I bought from when it became a nightmare to get done was easy iron or didn't need it. What I did have to iron I did after bedtime.

Batch cooking so you have things which can just be reheated for easy meal times. Baby food I used to always batch cook. As he gets older of course you will be able to give him more of what you and the rest of the family eat so it will get easier soon, things like a chilli can be made, take from it unspiced food for little one then spice it up for everyone else.

I agree with the park etc, I am sure little one will not mind being in the buggy with a few toys, won't be long before he'll be up and running around, then the fun begins :rotfl: I was on my own when DS2 was little, his Dad moved back in when he was about a year old so it was usually either brave it alone or be sat in alone going stir crazy. For example at park I used to pop DS1 in a swing, put DS2 next to me in buggy and being very vocal pushing him etc, involving DS2 as much as possible, he used to sit there giggling like crazy, pushing the buggy slightly closer to a moving swing (not so close it would hit of course) as it came towards and shouting BOO! I've never heard him laugh so much. I would only go out after feeding time then sort of race back for next feed to make it easier usually.

Housework, 20 minutes morning before they got up (usually was laundry in etc at this time, get things ready for the day) quick vacuum after breakfast and 20-30 minutes after bed time used to get most done (tidy kitchen, washing up, put laundry away while they are settling etc). It's amazing when you're just doing one thing like cleaning at a set time how much you get done.

I think what helped me the most was a schedule. I wrote down what I needed to get done and when best to do it, set out times for housework, feeding times and times for playing with the boys, worked roughly on time.

I wish I was as organised now as I was then, everything went out of the window when they became less demanding, I suppose back then I had to be organised but now it's just me being lazy :rotfl:

Don't let things like housework etc get you down, they are not little for long so enjoy them.

Must dash washers just finished, kids are having a world war 3 moment, dinner needs cooking, washing up still waiting from lunch as been doing reading with the boys and playing with train sets and the dog is shredding a toy all over the place...................oh before I forget, always remember you're not alone

kethry

I'm not a mom so i offer this up tentatively, it may help, it may not, but it was prompted by something someone else said about making spag bol one handed.. LOL..

is it worth preparing a bunch of ingredients one night after the kids have gone to bed? i.e. the makings of, say, potato and leek soup, all bagged up individually and then put into one large bag, marked potato and leek soup, and put in the freezer? then you don't have to worry about chopping and can - literally - do it one handed. I'd imagine you can do this with a whole bunch of stuff, although some stuff may be easier just to freeze once its made, to defrost and reheat.

dunno if that helps.. probably not! oh well. its there in case.

keth
xx

Gingham_Ribbon

You lot are just FANTASTIC! Thank you all.

DH is washing up. Annoyingly, the toddler is playing happily by himself and the baby is swirling his food round in his high chair happy as larry. Why don't they do that when I'm washing up?:rotfl:

Anyway, now the baby is on 3 solid meals a day, my hormones are ALL over the place. I fear that is half the problem. I'm getting hot flushes and everything. :eek:

I'm seeing a plan reading through all those replies. I have a terrible habit of asking the toddler to go to the loo just as I start breastfeeding. I don't know why I do it. I asked him BEFORE today and it worked a treat. Toddler loves helping and he was delighted to play with the baby, making him laugh while I washed his road mat. (HOW dirty?!) It's a huge thing though and I haven't worked out how I'm going to dry it as I think it will pull the washing line down!

Anyway, I feel more in control now. Thank you all. You're great!

JillD_2

hiya
I suspect my reply will be an echo of il_me's more or less.
I so know where you are coming from, you sound like me talking!
My DS was 18 months and a day (!) when DD was born. They are now 4 and 2 1/2.

I seem to remember the first 6 months were h3ll. Everyone told me "oh when the baby wants feeding just let your son have a story at the same time" and it all sounded lovely and glowing etc etc. Well DS wouldn't sit for a story, he never did til he was well past 2, he wouldnt watch TV, wanted someone to actively play with him til he was well past 2 1/2,. and whats more my boobs are so ginormnous that I sinmply cannot breastfeed one handed, I need one hand to hold the baby and one to hold the boob otherwise the baby gets smothered. Sounds very :rotfl: but actually dam irritating, cant even change TV channel or answer the phone or anything. We only lasted a month breastfeeding, DD was rubbish at it. She ended up being diagnosed with reflux when she started puking all over the shop at 2 months, I reckon this was behind the not wanting to be breastfed. And she was a colicky one, screaming for a good couple of hours at tea time, and unsettled til around 11pm each night. In her defence though she was a fantastic sleeper!

So what worked for me ?
- my standards dropped dramatically, I hardly ever hoovered or ironed, rarely dusted and only occasionally cleaned the bathrooms.
- I found if I kept on top of clutter then the house didnt seem so dirty anyway
- if I really had to clean the bathroom or dust I would do so while baby asleep and get DS to help with a cloth of his own, kept him amused for all of 10 minutes but it was a start. I only ever hoovered when hubby was here to have them.
- to cope with the sickiness and amount of washing (she was through at least 10 bibs and vests a day, it was awful) I jiust bought loads and loads and loads, kept a basket of dry clothes for her downstairs and another basket for dirty ones which went straight in the WM or upstairs at the end of the day.
- I loaded the WS at night and put it n first thing in the morning so at least I didnt have to be sorting out washing first thing when everyone hungry.
- I used TV for her much earlier than with DS. She was far more addicted to it and I didnt think an hour of CBeebies at dinnertime so I could cook for us all would hurt
- batch cooking is the way forward!!!
- the sooner you are all eating the same thing, even if the younger one's is just more mashed up,the better. For example,m we would all have tomatoey pasta with sweetcorn, we would have sausage mash and beans, she would have the mash with cheese sauce and some pureed veg or something.
- is there any way at all you could get a dishwasher ? Mine is invaluable, I would not be without it, We just clear up the dishes into at at end of every meal and it goes on at night and is emptied mid evening. I cannot imagine having to wash the amount of dishes we get through.
- I'm presuming you know about the flylady thread, have you tried it ? Maybe you could just do level one each day and that way, since lil_me rotates it, you will eventually get round everything without having to use toomiuch brain to work out what needs doing next. I am just about doing level 1 at the minute, am so exhausted, and am hoping to get back to level 1 and maybe 2 when baby a couple of months old.

For your scenarios, and I'm sure you already know the answer, you just have to weigh up the consequences mentally quickly before you act:

So example 1:

Baby is being breastfed, toddler shouts that he needs help to wipe his bum the cat has just been sick. :rolleyes:

If you dont wipe DS bum will he get off and trail poo everywhere ? If it had been my two, then yes. So I would put baby down, if he cries tough it wont kill him, wipe older ones bum, point himn at sink or give him a wipe to do his hands, clear up cat sick, wash own hands, check older one ok, resume feed. Souds easy but wil be stressful and harrassed LOL

Example 2:

toddler wants to read a book
baby is complaining that he wants to be standing up
if I don't get the dinner made everyone will be hungry and grumpy
What should I do?! :rolleyes:

So they are moany and wanting attention but if you dont cook tea they will be moany wanting attention AND hungry - not good. So either use the telly or a DVD, or get toddler doing drawing at the table, get baby in a bouncer or a playpen or with a walker or else find soimething else wildly engrossing - older brother's crayons ??? And go for it with cooking ideally something that doesnt need too much time or attention!

Anyhow, I am now 36 weeks pregant with number 3!!!! I am very on top of the hosue etc at the moment but know as soon as it comes that will be it, house will descend into chaos and I will just have to accedpt it that Ican't get as much done. Its always the people who do loads of home baking and pudings who amaze me, if I try anything like that the kids have to be in there "helping" and it jst goes wrong.

Cripes that was a long reply, but its s topic close to my heart! Hope you feel like you are getting ion top of thigns soon, blooming knacering, isnt it?! Oh and it does get better by the way, when the younger on is able to entertain himself it gets a lot easier, (though of course the squabbling will start soon after that .....)

Jill

se999

How old is your toddler?

It's just we had to both work, so ending nappies was a one week thing when we had a holiday at a point when they were ready for daytime, nightime just waited until it wasn't needed, if they were ill or over tired nappies went back on for their and our sakes. We just waited until it was obviously the right time. Lots of people seem to spend so much time dealing with acidents.

There can be so much hype as to when kids are nappy free, but if they have accidents when visiting relatives and friends are they really nappy free. I had friends who bragged about their babies being free of nappies, but the accidents were the norm.

Also babies and toddlers do need to learn to wait, it's part of growing up. If they don't and land at school and don't know they're not first in line all the time, it's not going to help them. Only had an 18 month gap between my two.

Lots of children thrive on routine, we were OK, as long as our childrens routines didn't change.

Other sanity rule for me with two active boys was they needed to get out the house once a day, everyone knows you need to walk the dog, but really it's the same with children, it's best for everyone, you'll also meet the other mums