How much did you spend and for what?

firebird082

catflap11 wrote: »

I find the whole, white dress, Church, fancy car, rubbish disco, inviting people you don't like thing showing off. It's all just a big appendage waving contest.

Maybe I've missed the point of a wedding, but I thought it was two people showing commitment to each other? It's not (in my opinion) for anyone else. My wedding was for me and my wife, we aren't religious and we don't care if people approve or disapprove our our relationship, it was simply a day for us. We cringe when we hear about people spending thousands on an identikit wedding, not as much as we cringe when we see the photos! Maybe we missed the point?

Surely it depends on the people in question? I'm worried sick about the prospect of being the centre of attention, and having all my favourite things on 'display' for people to criticise at our wedding. The point of our wedding is for myself and my fiance to make a public commitment to each other in a way that is meaningful (so for us, a church), in front of our friends and family. The party afterwards is by way of making it a whole day for people to enjoy. I don't see any of that as 'showing off'.

catflap11

Fair enough, maybe its just me that doesn't see any point in having anyone else there, as its none of their business. unfortunately the way the world is now is that its all about appearance and no one seems to do things for the right reason, who cares if people judge you, you don't need that kind of negativity in your life

I just find the whole concept of spending thousands on a single day a little obscene when the money could be better put towards living your life and providing for things that are not just a flash in the pan, but as I said earlier I think it must just be me, and my wife and I are in a very small minority.

RachRubyD

Wedding cost can get out of hand quickly. I don't think its even about people wanting to show off (I gotta admit though I am wanting to show off I suppose, for me my wedding day and marriage is probably the most important thing to me and I've always dreamed of having a perfect wedding day. I of course know it would be sensible to put the money down for a house deposit or a car but hey ho, life's too short and you have to do what makes you happy and sod what others think .Am not having a big wedding for others but myself so I have a lovely memory and photographers to look back on. Some people dream of having a perfect home, others perfect children but I always wanted a perfect wedding day. Of course am young and so see thing's romantically and probably be kicking myself in 5 years time that I didn't use the money for a house haha ). It's just a rip off, charging £70 a head for a 3 course meal is madness. To be honest though I looked at just hiring a hall and doing it myself and in my area they even cost a fortune (someone tried to charge me £5000 for just a marquee, no food or drink involved just the actual marquee in a little cricket club as if! We have had family functions there in the main club part and it's been about £100 to hire) and so does catering etc. Unless your lucky to have loads of people chipping in then sometimes having a wedding package with a venue is the best option.

I will admit myself am getting help from my parents, my dad is paying half towards venue and my mum buying my dress. However whenever I see stories in the paper of how people have saved loads of money on the wedding. It always turns out they got a friend whose a photographer, a sister who is a hairdresser and a mum who is a seamstress. So really it's not that they did it cheaply it's that they got help. However if you do have family members who are talented then ask them I would say. Even if they are just artistic and can help you with decorations.

My advice is to just research, I have managed to save a lot doing this. For instance I couldn't find a videographer for a reasonable price in my area they were all over £1000 and I couldn't afford that. I thought to myself unless I can get someone under £600 then I wouldn't have one, I'd rather have nothing than just have a poor quality one for the sakes of it. I decided to look further afield and found a videographer in London who is brilliant but only just moved to the UK and looking to get more into the UK videographer business. She was under £500 and with transport be max £600. So don't think you have to just look in your area. If you have easy access to train lines then a lot of people are willing to travel.

Same goes with my photographer, I got him on a wowcher deal for £350 full day with a photobooth and he normally charges £800 just for photographer services. He was just building up his portfolio and now is charging £1000.

Oh and I don't know if your the only bridesmaid but try and get any friends or family members to help you D.I.Y things. I bought Mason Jars and have sprayed them gold or painted them in my wedding colours and that worked out, even with the paint etc only about £1 a Jar. I've seen them on online for about £20 for 3 when decorated. I also got paper mache numbers from HobbyCraft and decorated them in glitter for table numbers. Hobbycraft is really good for getting bits and bobs for the wedding. I don't know if you have a Home Bargains near you either but that's brilliant for wedding stuff. At the moment they have mother's day stuff in and valentines day and I bought about 20 of the artificial peony and roses they have for about £1.50 a pop for my Mason Jars. I also got gorgeous pink and gold bags to put the bridesmaid gifts in for about 60p. So look in places like B&M and Home Bargains for wedding related stuff.

Saying that our wedding is probably going to be about 12,000 all in all but we have 80 day guests and 140 night, the venue is the biggest cost and I have 7 bridesmaids (mental) which brings the cost up.

If anyone looking for cheap bridesmaid dresses that are good quality, check out amazon Ever Pretty. Its normally free delivery and free returns as well. I just bought mine for £21.99 each bargain and they gorgeous. I think a lot of people get them from Etsy as well, seen a few people get them from DressLongBridal and seen the pictures of them on in real life and really nice.

Oh and use sales to your advantage. I got the grooms and best man's suits for half the price in the January sales and my wedding shoes.

cashewnut

catflap11 wrote: »

I find the whole, white dress, Church, fancy car, rubbish disco, inviting people you don't like thing showing off. It's all just a big appendage waving contest.

Maybe I've missed the point of a wedding, but I thought it was two people showing commitment to each other? It's not (in my opinion) for anyone else. My wedding was for me and my wife, we aren't religious and we don't care if people approve or disapprove our our relationship, it was simply a day for us. We cringe when we hear about people spending thousands on an identikit wedding, not as much as we cringe when we see the photos! Maybe we missed the point?

Eh, I sort of see where you're coming from but don't really agree. Inviting guests isn't showing off - it's wanting people you love and care for sharing your day. Church weddings are for those who are religious. Discos are for guests to enjoy.

I wanted to turn up to my wedding in a black cab but my OH's sister has kindly paid for us to have a wedding car - it's a very generous gift for us to ENJOY rather than a showing off exercise. I am still having a wedding for the purpose of being married; that I'm celebrating with something more expensive than a Chinese takeaway doesn't mean I'm less serious about my vows than you are.

duchy

catflap11 wrote: »

I find the whole, white dress, Church, fancy car, rubbish disco, inviting people you don't like thing showing off. It's all just a big appendage waving contest.

Maybe I've missed the point of a wedding, but I thought it was two people showing commitment to each other? It's not (in my opinion) for anyone else. My wedding was for me and my wife, we aren't religious and we don't care if people approve or disapprove our our relationship, it was simply a day for us. We cringe when we hear about people spending thousands on an identikit wedding, not as much as we cringe when we see the photos! Maybe we missed the point?

Maybe you are....

Of course a marriage is most important to the couple .....but some couples want to make those vows in front of the people most important to them and actually WANT to share the day with them however that doesn't mean that wanting that means you also want a big fussy dress, sweet table and need to buy all your guests flipflops (unless you WANT to). Actually the flip flop fashion at weddings baffles me ...If I wanted to wear flipflops with my posh wedding guest frock ..I'd bring my own.

A wedding can be anything you want it to be -just the two of you, intimate , huge-it doesn't matter. It's what the couple want .......and why does it matter what anyone else does so long as you are happy with what you choose for you ? At least here you can choose the where, when and how from a massive choice....some countries aren't nearly as flexible !

Anatidaephobia

catflap11 wrote: »

I find the whole, white dress, Church, fancy car, rubbish disco, inviting people you don't like thing showing off. It's all just a big appendage waving contest.

Maybe I've missed the point of a wedding, but I thought it was two people showing commitment to each other? It's not (in my opinion) for anyone else.

firebird082 wrote: »

Surely it depends on the people in question?

cashewnut wrote: »

Eh, I sort of see where you're coming from but don't really agree. Inviting guests isn't showing off - it's wanting people you love and care for sharing your day. Church weddings are for those who are religious. Discos are for guests to enjoy.

I wanted to turn up to my wedding in a black cab but my OH's sister has kindly paid for us to have a wedding car - it's a very generous gift for us to ENJOY rather than a showing off exercise.

It definitely depends on the couple in question and the guests they are inviting. Most people invite the people they love and care about - their family and their friends. Usually the only time you have guests you don't like or don't care about, it's because your dad has insisted you invite his cousin even though you have't seen him in years, or your best friend has got a new boyfriend you're not particularly fond of. These are just small compromises that you make throughout life for the people you care about to accommodate their wishes as well as your own. You spend time and money creating a lovely day so that you can spend your wedding day in the same room as everyone in your life that matters to you, having a lovely meal together, some drinks, and maybe a dance later on, because these are nice, enjoyable things to do that create happy memories, not because you want to show off.

Obviously there are also people who do have big weddings and invite all sorts of random people and end up not even knowing half the people at their reception. There are people that spend crazy amounts of money on things that they don't even care about because they're trying to put on a show or impress others or 'do the done thing'. I don't think this is the norm though; I think most people are just trying to have a great day with their loved ones. This doesn't have to cost a lot either but everyone has different budgets and different ideas of what is an acceptable/justifiable amount of money to spend on their wedding day - and that's okay too!

theduchesshavoc

Our wedding is May 2017. We're having the ceremony at 3pm in the church down the road and the reception at 4pm in the welfare hall around the corner. The church is very pretty and tiny, the welfare hall quite modern, like a swiss chalet almost. Ugly ceilings though so hoping to make a ceiling drape. Going to all be DiY. Afternoon tea for 40-50, cake stand throughout afternoon, and sausage baps for 60-70 in the evening. Therre's a kitchen there so we'll just pop trays of sausages in the oven. Most expensive for us is entertainment. Two bands, a bouncy castle and a visit from Batman.

Afternoon tea will consist of scones, baked previously and frozen, served with cream & jam. 4 different kinds of cocktail sandwiches, made with the help of family in morning, & mini quiche, again prefrozen. Cake stand will have millionaires shortbread & brownies, again, homemade & prefrozen, and supermarket bought battenurg & cherry bakewells. Wedding cake will be a naked madeira cake made by partner's stepmum.

Parents are paying £500 towards ceremony. Still going to struggle to find £3500!

Breakdown:

Ceremony £420
Organist £80
Photography £175
2 x 16 seater minibusses (Swansea-Coelbren return) £200
Hag Weekend £200
(Fri - Mountain walk - free
Boardgames & cocktails in house £30
Sat - Canoeing £25, waterfall walk - free
Nightout in Pontardawe - £20 minibus, £50 booze, £25 food
Sun - girls only bellydancing workshop £25, Facepainting workshop - free. Boys sent to pub £25. )
Save Dates, Invites & Stamps £50
Catering & Booze £500
(Afternoon Tea = Cakes & sarnies (£115), tea & coffee (£15) £130
Toasts (13 btls bbly @ £7 = £91) £91
Sausage baps = £54
£125 behind Bar
£25 behind bar for quiz winners
£75 bucks fizz reception)
Entertainment £650
(Afternoon band (gentle guitar jazz) £150
Evening band (1950s rock & roll) £400
Bouncy castle & congratulations from Batman £100)
DiY facepainting with homemade facepaints - free
Venue - £225 inc. set up & clear up
Wedding cake - £50 (MiL making)
Wedding Decor - £300
Bunting - Free
Tablecloths - £30 (White sheets)
Table bubbles £5 (Bought)
Tissue Paper for pompoms - £15
Candles £5
Jars - Free
Fairy lights £30 - battery powered for tables
Crockery - £50
Flowers - Tulips - £20 Roses - £20 Tesco's 24 for £4 x 5 Gyp - £30 = £70
(Also grow bulbs)
Chair cover hire - £50
Drapery Material - muslin 40 metres £40
Honeymoon £575
Bath & Spa
Hotel £200 - 2 Nights
Thermae Spa Twilight Package £90
Transport: (Petrol: £30, Bridge, £7, Taxis, £13, parking £5) 55
Food £80 - (Dinner 1st night in spa package, lunch £15, Dinner £50, lunch £15
Drink £75
Other Activities £75
Rings £140
Bridal Hair £50
Wedding Dress £100 (BHS Bella on Ebay!)
Bridal Accessories £50
Bridal Underwear £50
Bridesmaids Dresses £70 (Second hand from Ebay!)
Groom's suit £115

Totals £4000

dipsy

For someone that asked about the £00.00's

Cake £100.00 - for cost only as friend doing
Room for the night ** £0.00
Breakfast with guests in morning £0.00
Room for ceremony £0.00 all green included in venue cost
Save The Date Magnets £0.00 - got a refund as they were late with delivery
Easel Stand for seating plan £0.00 - Supplied by venue
Mirrors £0.00
swag for Cake table £0.00
swag for top table £0.00 - in with the chair cover price
Table Center Pieces £0.00 - acquired from work as I am having birdcages and work donated them to me
Stands for Table numbers £0.00 - Supplied by venue
Knife £0.00 - Supplied by venue
Cake Stand/table £0.00 - Supplied by venue
Website £0.00 - did myself
Groom Suit (tie/waistcoat/hanky/jacket/trousers ** £300.00
Bestman suit ** (Adrian) £0.00
Dad ** £0.00
Liam suit ** £0.00
Usher (Alexander) Suit **(wearing uniform now) £0.00
Spare suit £0.00 - in with grooms suit
Box for flip flops £0.00 - already have
Nails £0.00 - doing myself
Postage for Invites £0.00 - saved stamps from Royal Mail posting assignments
RSVP/ Song Request £0.00 - in with invitation that friend has made
Place Cards £0.00 in with invitation that friend has made
Post box £1.98
Table numbers £0.00 in with invitation that friend has made
Jewelry £0.00 - already have this
Flowers £117.50
Hair for Bride £12.00
Make up for Bride £25.00
Groom Shoes
Page boy outfit **
Button holes £0.00 - in with flowers
Table seating plan £0.00 - DIY and have a big mirror
Door Hangers £0.00 - DIY
Tissue paper for Cake Boxes £0.00 - already had
Piper (to pipe into ceremony) £0.00 - Old boss in RAF Pipe band
Tabs for sparklers £0.00 -DIY
personalised labels for mini prosseco £0.00 DIY
Picture of Mum & Dad (both sets) £0.00 - old pic
Picture of us as kids for toilet doors £0.00 - old pic
Sign for Be wise don't drink and drive with taxi numbers on £0.00 DIY
Sign Im still single to go on back of Caleb's chair £0.00 DIY
Evening dress tbc
Evening Shoes tbc
Honey Moon tbc
Thoughtful room bags (charger/toothbrush/local biscuits/water/drink etc) tbc
Instagram Sign tbc
mini easels for signs (toilet (2), facebook (1), instagram (1) flipflops on basket with ribbon tbc
CD of playlist tbc
Thank you cards tbc
Bridesmaid gift x 1 tbc
bestman gift x1 tbc
Usher gift x 2 tbc
Activity Box tbc
Gift for Groom £4.44
Flip flops £30.00
Underwear tbc
Mr & Mrs Sign £0.00 - actually cost £1.50 to make
Coat hangers with dates etc on them x 4 groom/bride/bm/MOH £10.00 -sacked this lol
Fireworks tbc


Total £8,338.77


The budget has now crept up to £11,863.49 (honeymoon has been added)

dipsy

ellay864 wrote: »

Dipsy you have a lot of things there with no cost on them...does that mean that they're gifting or somebody else is paying for them? A lot of people say their wedding budget has come in at a certain amount when in fact it came in a lot higher but the cost to the bride/groom was reduced by others paying. I'm particulary intrigued by the free piper -old boss in the RAF pipe band

It also depends so much on the individual...what is essential to one bride might be seen as totally unnecessary to another. For me the photographer was worth paying for but I really don't get the whole chair covers thing. My hubby is a mobile DJ and it never ceases to amaze us how some people pay an absolute fortune for small details but want to scrimp on DJ or band which will take up several hours of the day and hopefully add to the atmosphere. Each to their own I guess but it's so hard to compare one bride's budget with another for that reason

I liked the chair covers and TBH only £150 of the budget for that the swags for the cake/top table and the mirror plates so I thought that was ok - The DJ did a deal with us so we got that at quite a good price at least I think we did - as I don't hire DJ's a lot - I am sure you have a better idea what a price should be for 5 hours?

dipsy

hec2308 wrote: »

Dipsy, that is seriously impressive. How have you managed to get a cake for £100?! I can't find anything less than £300!

I am lucky I have a friend that is coming to the wedding that is a cake maker and is doing it as a gift and I am making a contribution to the ingredients.

She makes amazing cakes so I am very lucky (and they taste nice lol)