Unaffordable child support payments

fred_bloggs26

My children were placed with my ex-partner following my suicide attempt earlier this year. Since then, I have made payments to support them. My ex contacted the CMS and said I was not paying. I have demonstrated that I have paid (but last payment now was in August as they became unaffordable, I have explained this to the CMS). The only award notices I have from them are from September 2015 and show arrears on the account (despite them not providing me with any calculations prior to this date so I was not in a position to pay). As a result, my account was put in collect and pay. Since acknowledging and offsetting the payments I have made, the CMS has not sent out a revised calculation. Instead, they have applied for a deduction of earnings order. This is in the sum of £460 a month and based on their most recent letter commences with effect either from 19 November 2015 or January 2016 - it is not clear. I have previously advised the CMS that my disposable income each month is £243.91. Their only response to affordability issues in a service complaint was that their priority was to make sure financial support is provided for children. I am now terrified that I will become homeless and run up debt as a result of their actions. I don't have an unsustainable lifestyle and have not deliberately increased my costs to avoid maintenance payments - my costs are exactly the same as they were in March before I tried to kill myself. But nobody seems interested in this and the whole system has left me utterly exhausted. What can I do?

pmlindyloo

They are not interested in your disposable income.

From Adviceguide (CAB website)

The CSA or CMS calculate payment of arrears on a deduction from earnings order according to a strict formula. They don’t take into account any other debts or outgoings that you may have. If your earnings go up and down, the deductions will be varied accordingly.

You must be left with at least 60 per cent of your net income. Your net income is the money left after you've paid tax, National Insurance, and other payments taken from your gross income, such as pension contributions.

Are they leaving you with 60% of your net income?

fred_bloggs26

The payment is within their allowances - it's 30%ish of my net income. But that's not the problem. The problem is if they do this I will not be able to pay my rent, bills, buy food, buy the kids clothes etc. I've explained that they are going to make me homeless (my income will decrease to £960 a month once they start taking deductions). But they don't care.

There have been so many problems - they didn't sent a payment schedule to me until September despite me phoning them and writing to them repeatedly to request this. Then when they sent schedules through, they said I had arrears from the date the children were taken away from me, which is not true as I had made payments initially as agreed with my ex direct. They finally acknowledged this at the end of September, but did not send a revised payment schedule through to me (the previous ones wanted me to make payments over almost £600 which I told them I could not afford). But because I was struggling with finances I couldn't make any payments in September and October. I told them this and these are the only months I haven't paid.

I get that there are some people who do try to shirk parental responsibility. And I would love to give my kids loads of money. But I can't afford what they want me to pay and to be honest, I do not think the children will get any benefit from the money.

Surely it can't be right that the CMS can push somebody into homelessness? After everything that's happened I'm beginning to think the world would be better if I had died. To be honest, if this is the situation I really can't see a way out. Obviously I'm a terrible person for not being able to afford an arbitrary and illogical payment so yeah, who deserves a parent like that. I can't afford to live, so what's the point.

MoneyMission2015

fred_bloggs26 wrote: »

The payment is within their allowances - it's 30%ish of my net income. But that's not the problem. The problem is if they do this I will not be able to pay my rent, bills, buy food, buy the kids clothes etc. I've explained that they are going to make me homeless (my income will decrease to £960 a month once they start taking deductions). But they don't care.

There have been so many problems - they didn't sent a payment schedule to me until September despite me phoning them and writing to them repeatedly to request this. Then when they sent schedules through, they said I had arrears from the date the children were taken away from me, which is not true as I had made payments initially as agreed with my ex direct. They finally acknowledged this at the end of September, but did not send a revised payment schedule through to me (the previous ones wanted me to make payments over almost £600 which I told them I could not afford). But because I was struggling with finances I couldn't make any payments in September and October. I told them this and these are the only months I haven't paid.

I get that there are some people who do try to shirk parental responsibility. And I would love to give my kids loads of money. But I can't afford what they want me to pay and to be honest, I do not think the children will get any benefit from the money.

Surely it can't be right that the CMS can push somebody into homelessness? After everything that's happened I'm beginning to think the world would be better if I had died. To be honest, if this is the situation I really can't see a way out. Obviously I'm a terrible person for not being able to afford an arbitrary and illogical payment so yeah, who deserves a parent like that. I can't afford to live, so what's the point.

I'm sorry that I wont be able to offer any practical advice but I just wanted to say that your family would not be better off if you died, so please get the help you need to stop these thoughts creeping into your head. Your children would be left without a parent.


As for the issue with money, have you checked you're getting any benefits you might be entitled to? You should get a reduction in council tax I believe if you are living alone and possibly housing benefit if your income is low, although as you are living alone you may only get the one bedroom rate. I don't know much about benefit entitlements but it's worth you checking this. Also are you entitled to any working tax credits?


Make an appointment with a CAB advisor to see if they can help. Also as much as it might be difficult at this current time, it might be worthwhile looking around at cheaper places to rent and find other ways to cut back if possible. Sorry if you have already cut back as much as you can.


And finally, the money you pay to your ex should be enough to provide them with clothes so you shouldn't need to buy them anymore out of your take home pay. When you are in a better financial position maybe you can treat them to a little bit extra, but the maintenance money you are paying is to provide your children with the essentials, so in that respect you are providing for them.

Caz3121

fred_bloggs26 wrote: »

buy the kids clothes etc..

That is what the PWC should use the maintenance for so, if you are still paying to buy clothes for the children, you should stop this.
Your rent will not be taken into consideration as the expectation is that you chose somewhere to live that is within budget based on the income you have left after child maintenance payments rather than you pay the maintenance based on what you have left after rent. Is there an option to move somewhere less expensive?
The NRP often gets the raw end of the deal but the CMS have guidelines and these must be followed if a claim is opened.

fred_bloggs26

Unfortunately my rent is £800 a month. There are no other suitable properties where I live at this rate - a small two bed flat tends to be in the region of £900. If I downsize, I will never be able to put a case together for the children to come home. And why should they lose the property they call home just because the system is flawed? In any event? I don't have the capital to move.

I suppose I could do a house share in London closer to work. But then I wouldn't have anywhere for the children to stay, so no court would agree to overnight contact and again, it drives home what an utter failure I am.

I don't qualify for tax credits as my gross salary is too high. I already claim housing benefit, but with what CMS are about to do I'm looking at a £200+ a month deficit.

My ex refuses to send the children with clothes for the weekends they spend with me. And complains the clothes they wear when with me are too small. Some of them are (leggings are more like cropped trousers, and some things have the wrong age label, but still fit in the body and arms), but that's because the kids have grown since I last bought clothes (February this year), but I can't afford to buy new ones because of the maintenance payments.

There really is no way out of this. And it seems that there is no help out there. I haven't chosen to have an expensive life to get out of providing for my children - I have the same commitments I had before. If I could change things and reduce costs in a meaningful way, I would, but there really isn't anything I can do. I can't believe there is no help out there.

Caz3121

Have they provided any information on what the payment will be without the arrears? is it an issue because of the arrears?

tomtontom

If you post on the Debtfree Wannabe board they can help you with your budget, they're very good at spotting savings you might otherwise miss. A house share doesn't have to be a house with lots of other people, even just sharing with one person will cut your outgoings a fair bit.

pmduk

I suspect the disparity comes between your figure of disposable income and their calculations based upon your income. Child Support debts are considered priority debts and need to be addressed before other loans, etc. I suggest you get specialist debt advice as it sounds though you may need to rearrange your whole budget.

xylophone

My ex refuses to send the children with clothes for the weekends they spend with me. And complains the clothes they wear when with me are too small.

Ignore the complaints.

I assume you have a washing machine/drying facilities - wash and dry the clothes they arrive in so that they can wear on Sunday what they were wearing on Friday- what they wear on Saturday is your affair.

RAS

fred_bloggs26 wrote: »

My ex refuses to send the children with clothes for the weekends they spend with me. And complains the clothes they wear when with me are too small. Some of them are (leggings are more like cropped trousers, and some things have the wrong age label, but still fit in the body and arms), but that's because the kids have grown since I last bought clothes (February this year), but I can't afford to buy new ones because of the maintenance payments.

So your ex is playing hardball?

None of their business what the children wear when they are with you.

Follow xylophone's suggestion and also check out the local charity shops for clothes for the kids. If needs be take them shopping with you. Or check out freegle or freecycle.

You may be advised to talk to MIND and to one of the debt charities about your finances.