Are there any people here who've been long term unemployed?

Hedylogos

How did it make you feel?

I am in a situation where i have been long term unemployed and it's taking it's toll on my mental health. My mental health was in a horrible way when i was younger and i was on medication for a long time, but recently it feels like i am static and afraid of going back into employment. I don't believe i am lazy at all, but i just lack any direction in my life right now and i am also afraid of getting into a job that leads nowhere. I am not cut out for higher education, so i really don't know what to do any more.

I want to volunteer, but again i feel static and unsure. I really should give it a shot to get back into the swing of things, but i am worried about being judged. I am 27 and i feel like there's a lot of judgmental people out there and it affects my mentality. I went to my doctor, of whom i trust and admitted that my psyche is hurting me and controlling my life, and explained how i have been out of work for a long time due to mental health issues. He has arranged a counselling meeting for me, but unfortunately it won't be for another 3 weeks. I feel i need to talk to someone professional and in private, because it's got to a point where i am becoming fed up of everything and everyone around me, hassling me and judging me.

People don't seem to understand how low my motivation and self esteem has gotten due to being out of employment. I am fed up of having to explain myself to them because they only understand "normal" mentality people. I have people asking me "have you found a job yet?!" and making negative statements, of which are not true of me. I wish so badly that i was someone who was born and raised with a high motivation, confidence and self esteem with zero mental health issues, but i wasn't so i had not much choice.

I dunno, i just wanted to know how long term unemployment affected you guys? Did it affect your mentality and make you more negative, even affecting your self esteem? I don't know if it's worse for me because of my past bad experiences with poor mental health, but it would be interesting to hear about your experiences and also maybe receive a little advice. I think for me, the best thing i can do is volunteer. I hate having to go to the job centre and sign on because the thought of facing those people has become a bit of a nightmare.

[simon]

Hello,

So you want a job but you lack confidence and motivation ?

You don't want to be in a "dead end job" but lack education ?

You don't like signing on at the job center but you don't know what job you want to do ?

I think the first port of call would be to get a councilor.

Second, a part time job in a supermarket, nothing with too much pressure. (working may improve confidence.

then move on to other things, you can progress in a supermarket, if you don't like it, look for another job..

The third thing to do if you feel you have the motivation and confidence progress on to other areas, promotion ect.

Not having a job can make you feel down, could you also set other goals such as excising, running, join a running group ? a gym ?

HappyMJ

I love not being in employment. I've not had a job for a very long time. Best thing I ever did was stop working for someone and started working for myself whenever I want for whoever I want.

tiger_eyes

You say you're afraid of getting into a job that leads nowhere. With limited work history, it's unlikely you'll walk straight into a really good job and I think it's best to accept that - most people have to work their way up. Right now, any form of employment would help you gain experience, confidence and independence. I think Simon's suggestion of a supermarket job might be a good one for now.

dawyldthing

Id say the vast majority of jobs only really lead to the pay at the end of the month. Work has other advantages such as socially often. You just need to start somewhere and give it a good try as you won't know what job you would like to do until you start somewhere. What jobs have you done before?

BigAunty

On the benefits forum, we see many posts from people with MH issues that struggle to find employment or resolve their health issues, like anxiety and depression, that keep them out of the workplace. I'm not diagnosing you but flagging up that joblessness doesn't help self-esteem and confidence.

We also see many posts from Job Seekers frustrated with the DWP processes and who find it humiliating. I think society is all too quick to see joblessness as the fault of the unemployed person and ignore the structural conditions of our economy which has high unemployment embedded in it.

It is clear from these posts how corrosive it can be when a job would offer structure and build confidence but trying to get one when you are flat and low is very hard., plus worried if the pressures that come with employment might actually do more harm than good.

The main thing that comes out of your post is how humiliated and self conscious you feel, damaged confidence, loss of pride.

Volunteering is an excellent idea - it could enhance your CV, give your life more routine, offer a social outlet, help clarify the type of job that you may enjoy.

This thread is actually from someone in employment who is in a panic about an interview for promotion, who is a sufferer of anxiety. I know it's directly related to your situation (they are anxious and you are angry) but there's lots of advice from posters about things the OP could do to restore their emotional balance, become calm and relaxed.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5354861

suki1964

You have been posting the same thing for months now.

Every time you are given the advice, get out there volunteering , take a low paid starter job, go on work experience, get those qualifications

And now here you are again

Nothing changes if nothing changes

Have you not quite thought that getting out into the world and doing your bit will boast your self esteem?

You need to find a job, or a volunteer position and go do it. The stores were all recruiting for Christmas staff recently, that would have been a start for you. A job that had a start and end date. If you didn't like it you only had to get through it for 3 months. You would have made friends, got something on a cv and hopefully realised you can do a days work and won't melt at the end of it

I'd love to be earning £200 a day, but that's not going to happen so I go earn what I can to keep me from going stir crazy at home and enable me and mine to live without resorting to benefits

tomtontom

We don't have a high unemployment rate in the UK.

OP you keep asking the same kind of questions over and over, and you are given the same answers. With all the support and good wishes in the world, the only person that can move your life forward is you. Booking to see a counsellor is a positive step, what else have you done to help yourself?

El_Torro

A dead end job can help your mental health immensely, especially if it requires some physical effort (manual lifting, etc...). Even if it's minimum wage you have some money coming in and even if there are no prospects for progression in that role it can motivate you to apply for better jobs further down the line.

richdeniro

I was unemployed for 13 months in 2012/2013, had a decent high paying public sector job but was made redundant due to the cuts and then found that 7 years of experience in the public sector was worthless - the private sector just didn't want to know.

Was one of the most awful periods in my life and definitely affected my mental health. I feel like it has done permanent damage to me because I now seem to suffer constant anxiety particularly in the workplace - I constantly worry about losing my job and being in that situation again. I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents because I am essentially afraid to move out because I worry about what will happen if I am unemployed for a long period of time again.

BigAunty

I have browsed the OPs historic posts and they have alluded to suffering from anxiety and currently have mentioned low moods and so forth.

It could be the case that rather than ignoring advice and not taking action at a conscious level, they are crippled with some kind of lethargy, withdrawal or indecision that comes from that kind of unhelpful thinking.

OP - I see that you have ruled yourself out of formal education but have clear interests in things like music and singing. Don't discount free courses on the internet offered by many universities - life long learning and self development doesn't just mean college/Uni courses with formal qualifications.

Look into MOOC for online learning. There is even a prestigious music college in the USA (Berkely I think) that offers free music courses. Some offer completion certificates but even without, they are still worthy of CV entries.

Have you thought of joining a local choir or music group? My city is teeming with choirs, including soul and rock ones, loads of percussion groups, including salsa ones, plus many other types of bands. A friend of mine joined a choir and it sounds a hoot, they don't even hold auditions, anyone can join.