Who is liable for this debt?

CHR15

We can all sympathise as the forum is littered with similar stories.

Sadly though, you didn't lend anyone anything. The reason you didn't lend it is because you had no agreement at all regarding the repayments or the term in which it was to be repaid.

It sounds like this lad was happy enough to drive around in his illegal car with no MOT, no tax and no insurance, it was you who decided it should be put back on the road legally.

If this goes to court, he can/should/will say it was a gift so it is simply your word against his.
A sympathetic Judge may well side with you and demand a man with no job, no money and no prospects to repay you in full.

His parents are absolutely nothing to do with it. Maybe they should go and complain to your parents and ask them to get their unruly child to stop harassing them?

bearcat16

My tuppenceworth, for what it's worth.

You did a kind thing- you helped a young man who was going through a difficult time and felt he had nowhere else to turn. You let him stay in your house and paid to get his car fixed up and legal so that he wouldn't be facing a criminal charge as well as his other problems. It was compassionate, and you should rightly feel good that you did.

However, I'm sorry to say that if I had been in your shoes, I would not have considered this a loan. I would have thought to myself "I'll help him out because I feel it's a nice thing to do. His life's chaotic, so I don't expect to be repaid for this, and that's okay.

Maybe years from now he'll get himself sorted and feel compelled to pay us, but for now that money's just a kind-hearted gift."

And as for falling out with his mother- your friend of many years- I honestly don't think I'd sacrifice that friendship for £445. At some point you must have thought to yourself "what do I value more, the £445 or the friendship?" Again, I honestly would just have considered it a good deed done for someone in need and just let it go. The young man in question was ungrateful, sad, but what can you say. That's young men for you!

Also, chasing this has cost you more than just the friendship, it has cost you lots of stress, annoyance and time, all for princely sum of £445!

I've been asked for loans from people in the past when they've been going through a bad struggle with various things, and on the occasions I've agreed to help, I knew that I would be treating it as a gift, and if I got repaid that would be a nice bonus. It's just the way it is with people during tough times.

You might well be 100% in the right, and that's fine, but you have to sometimes ask yourself if the hassle is worth it. Life's too short!

Anyway, I hope you get it sorted one way or the other, for the sake of your own blood pressure if nothing else!

Pixie5740

I doubt the OP will be back but I agree with CHRIS15 and bearcat16. The debt is the son's. Chasing his mother for the money, falling out with her about it and trying to stir up problems in her marriage isn't going to help and is actually a pretty horrible thing to do.

Yes the OP took her son in and helped him out but why did he go to the OP's home and not his parents' home? Is it because his parents, particularly his step-father by the sounds of things, know that this 27 year old adult is totally !!!!less? They probably don't want him living in their home and sponging off them if he's already been bailed out several times before and was still driving around in a car with no MOT, no insurance, etc.

No good deed goes unpunished. Either let it go or only pursue the son for the money. The former gets my vote.

patanne

I suspect that the mother is unable to pay you back because the stepfather has made it difficult for her to access any funds to stop her keep bailing her son out. Whilst I know it must grate, I think you should move on. Don't stop helping people because of this user. The one who turned up saying I have had to leave my car (wherever) because I couldn't afford to tax it etc is the one to help, not the one who is prepared to put others at risk through his own risky behaviour, he is unlikely to change.

matttye

Marktheshark wrote: »

I just do not think you grasp what you are doing sadly.
He is an adult, please stop harassing his parents before you get yourself locked up.
Sending threatening texts, involving his parents, we dont know their ages here but sorry what you are doing is breaking the law, it is harassment and several other criminal offences and straight from the loan sharks books .

Sue him by all means, its your money, but please stop threatening his parents and especially his mother and do not make any more threats to go round and sort it out once and for all, you lent the son the money, not his mother.
Take it or leave it, that is good advice if you want to stay out of trouble, you have already done more than enough to get yourself locked up.

If you want to pursue this money, you must do it properly by the courts and not make any more threats against people and do not send any more malicious electronic communications demanding she pay his debts.
The Malicious Communications Act 1988 covers sending threats by text messages,
"A person guilty of an offence shall be liable, on summary conviction, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding six months or to a fine or to both".

I am trying to help you here, Stop threatening his relatives if you want to stay out of court yourself.

You can not make threats and demands that "someone else" pays what you regard to be a debt.

Amazed nobody else pulled you up on it.

The debtor's mother is the one who started communicating with the OP about this.

Saying let's meet up to sort this out once and for all is not a malicious communication when sent to a friend of the family. It's clear the OP wanted to meet up to discuss matters rather than to meet up and have a scrap. Use your head.

Ben8282

I do sympathise with the situation.
As you have said yourself he was a 26/27 year adult. There is no way his mother can be held responsible for the repayment of this debt. If she is a friend of yours I can see no problem in mentioning the debt in order to seek her assistance in getting her son to pay you but I'm afraid to say any attempt to hold her responsible for the debt or pressuring her to pay the debt on her son's behalf could be considered harassment and she could grossly exaggerate things if she was called as a witness in court.
But lets say you go ahead with the claim to try to get him the ccj. You are required to PROVE that he owes the money; he is NOT required to prove that he does not. He will say you are old friends of his family you offered to help him out and he thought it was a loan ... he might even say that you FORCED him to accept the money if perhaps you strongly encouraged him to spend the money to get his car legal ... that he said he didn't want the money and he couldn't afford to repay you but you said that's ok take it anyway pay us back when you can etc ... he could claim anything perhaps even deny receiving the money ....
At best you have a verbal agreement on his part to repay the money on some unspecified date in the future
How do you expect to be given a judgement in your favour?

Mojisola

Ellie3773 wrote: »

He was about 26/7 years old so not a child but his mother came round and promised to repay us as soon as they had sold one of their houses.

We texted the mother a few times but got no reply so we went round to her house and she said her son had told her that he had repaid us from a tax rebate he had got and asked us to wait until the 30th October 2015 for our money as that would give her time to get the money together and she promised to pay the debt in full.

Ben8282 wrote: »

As you have said yourself he was a 26/27 year adult. There is no way his mother can be held responsible for the repayment of this debt.

I'm afraid to say any attempt to hold her responsible for the debt or pressuring her to pay the debt on her son's behalf could be considered harassment and she could grossly exaggerate things if she was called as a witness in court.

I don't think taking legal action is a sensible thing to do as there doesn't seem to be anything in writing but the offer to pay the son's debt came from the mother - it wasn't Ellie who suggested that the mother paid the son's debt.

[Deleted User]

Voyager2002 wrote: »

And it is such an extreme story that the local paper might be interested: and of course the mother might care to know in advance that it will be going in the paper...

And Judge Rinder!

chesky

Even if the case goes to the small claims court and judgement is found in your favour, you can't get blood out of a stone. If he's not working at the time of the case, the most that will be awarded will be £1 per month. And then he won't pay so you'll have to return to court. It will not help you.

Don't let this young man's actions embitter you for the rest of your life. You're bigger than that.

somethingcorporate

For the sake of £450 loaned 2 years ago I would just chalk this up and move on with your life. You aren't going to get blood out of a stone and as you have already said youself that life is too short to be angry.