Downsizing to sheltered accommodation

TiddlyPom

My Dad and his wife are planning to downsize to sheltered accommodation as Dad is 89 and has dementia. Their current property is too big and expensive for them to maintain.
Dad's wife is quite a bit younger than him and, understandably, doesn't want to be left isolated when the inevitable happens.
She has talked to a number of people selling these type of flats who offer to take your existing property and buy it from you at the mean price having got three estate agent valuations.
Apart from being aware that any purchase price offered will, I assume, be subject to a rigorous survey, are there any pitfalls people are aware of or have come across that we need to be aware of?
It's a whole new experience to everyone in the family and could be disastrous if a mistake is made.
I really would appreciate any advice or reassurance that anyone can give. Thank you.

BrassicWoman

the service charges can be a challenge. have they looked at a smaller normal property with a care package? have his needs been assessed?

PasturesNew

The problems with that type of place might come from:
- if one of them needs to go into a care home; with advanced dementia this is highly likely. Will the one not in the care home be worried about the care home fees accumulating as a charge against their home.
- if the one remaining person needs to go into a care home the (often high) monthly fees still need to be paid.
- reselling them can be problematical, the time it takes to sell can be very long, fees are racking up and to shift it quicker you can often find you're selling it at substantially less than you paid for it.

It's a good idea, but you really need to investigate fees and scenarios thoroughly.

xylophone

I would have thought it might be better to sell the property in the ordinary way and buy a small bungalow?

Have your father's care needs been assessed?

TiddlyPom

The GP Practice have been great at assessing Dad and he has an ongoing team who visit once every 6 weeks to see how things are progressing.
Despite having delusions at times Dad is still able to clearly voice his opinions and he's a stubborn old bigger! I can't see him accepting caring in any way other than from his wife until he's at a point where he's not longer able to refuse iyswim. God, this is hard to talk about.
The property they are in is large and he can forget where the loo is so even though getting to know a new place will be a massive challenge, he will have less space to get confused in if that makes sense. In a way we're lucky that he doesn't wander at all as he's not able to walk well and has been housebound for several years.
His wife, being his carer, is the one who will make the decisions and I can't tread on toes too much but just want to be supportive in the background in terms of decision making.

Mojisola

PasturesNew wrote: »

The problems with that type of place might come from:
- if one of them needs to go into a care home; with advanced dementia this is highly likely. Will the one not in the care home be worried about the care home fees accumulating as a charge against their home.

This won't happen. The value of the house isn't counted as part of the financial assessment if the spouse/partner will continue to live there.

xylophone

From what you have said above, I still think that you might suggest a small bungalow or maisonette.

A couple of my acquaintance managed well this way - they had a large, bright sitting room/diner, well laid out kitchen and a bedroom each (their choice).

The husband was fully compos mentis but suffered from macular degeneration while the (much younger) wife had a form of dementia which eroded short term memory very badly but was otherwise reasonably fit.

They had a (live out) couple to help around the house and garden, shop and chauffeur when required but otherwise cared for each other with one as the eyes and the other as the rest as they used to say.

This only came to an end when the husband had to spend several weeks in hospital - respite care was arranged for the wife in an excellent home and when the husband recovered, the home was made permanent for both.

This gave them their own bathroom, large bedroom and sitting room and full time care - the husband is now a widower (at nearly 95) and still there.

In your parent's case, where your mother is relatively young and fit, she might well manage in the bungalow/maisonette to the end of her life, or if not, could consider a home/very sheltered accommodation when she needed it?

granny_annex

Be very careful, I have been in the building game for over 30 years and seen quite a few people be sucked in to the sales pitch of these slick companies offering to buy your house and provide you with new accommodation, there has to be something in it for them, proceed with caution.....do you have someone who can help guide you?

I have seen some very sad sights and had friends move into sheltered accommodation and regret the move.

We have just recently started building a granny annex for my mother to live in, is this a possibility for you, do you have any children who might be able to go down this route with you?

Thanks

teddysmum

There has been a recent Rip off Britain programme featuring the difficulties involved in the selling sheltered accommodation; high fees and restrictive contracts included.

It is probably still available on iPlayer.

TiddlyPom

Thanks for all the suggestions.
Unfortunately, my Sister is 300 miles away and I am on my own with ill health and not in a position to do anything like a granny annexe. I am doing my best to be there as the usual loving daughter as well as providing respite for Dads wife so she is able to maintain a social life outside of the home and doesn't get burned out.

I automatically mistrust the "we'll sell your house for you" pitch.
All I can do is advise and try to bring up any potential pitfalls I see. I am terrified that a bad decision could make their last years miserable.

I'll take a look at the suggested iplayer show. Knowledge is power.

I do think a straightforward bungalow has got to be the best way forward. Sheltered accommodationis always something that can be revisited in the future as and when necessary.

Just a thought. Would an appointment with an IFA be useful regarding possible financial pitfalls of buying and, eventually selling sheltered accommodation even though a mortgage would obviously not be necessary?

Argghhh

the 3 estate agents will be instructed to value the house with a view to a quick sale which means it will be very low compared to its real value. Why not get an estate agent in yourself 1st to get a rough idea before they start the process.