Creative with direct payments?

mummytofour

Hi,
I'm a single mum on carers alliwance. Three of my four boys have asd and I have not support. I'm the most isolated I have ever been and feel like a prisoner in my own home. My children are constantly off school for something and I have no real time to have any kind of life at all. Every time I arrange anything, I'm needed. I literally have had two school days since sep when I have had the house to myself and not had to care for them during school hours.
Ss might (lol) agree to direct payments for two of the boys at a total of £140 per week. But what I really need is an extra pair of hands. So I can take a child here, drop off, see a film or even have some time to myself. I need a back up for emergencies, a pool of people so our family is not going from one disaster to the next.
My youngest is so demanding and wants constant attention, he's 9 and I can't even have a wee in peace.
I had an ok life once upon a time, I worked full time and had a social life but the boys needs have changed and more and more they need my support. I want to be their mum not their carer, not their personal PA.

So with the potential of £140 a week what would you do???

Thank you xx

pmlindyloo

Lots of information here:

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Autistic-spectrum-disorder/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Social services may have a list of agency carers too.

DomRavioli

Please see your original thread here : https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5345594

Seems you have changed your tune a little bit from wanting to be paid to look after your children, to accepting help.

nannytone_2

i dont understand where the thread title of 'creative with direct payments' comes into play.
how are you being 'creative'?

i also don't understand your dilemma.

you say you need help but are unsure if you should accept the help that is on offer.

sounds like a no brainer to me, unless you are still talking about claiming the money for yourself as the carer?

fed_up_and_stressed

mummytofour wrote: »

Hi,
I'm a single mum on carers alliwance. Three of my four boys have asd and I have not support. I'm the most isolated I have ever been and feel like a prisoner in my own home. My children are constantly off school for something and I have no real time to have any kind of life at all. Every time I arrange anything, I'm needed. I literally have had two school days since sep when I have had the house to myself and not had to care for them during school hours.
Ss might (lol) agree to direct payments for two of the boys at a total of £140 per week. But what I really need is an extra pair of hands. So I can take a child here, drop off, see a film or even have some time to myself. I need a back up for emergencies, a pool of people so our family is not going from one disaster to the next.
My youngest is so demanding and wants constant attention, he's 9 and I can't even have a wee in peace.
I had an ok life once upon a time, I worked full time and had a social life but the boys needs have changed and more and more they need my support. I want to be their mum not their carer, not their personal PA.

So with the potential of £140 a week what would you do???

Thank you xx

Doesn't your ex has them 2 nights a week as per. Your previous threads ? Maybe use those nights for r&r ?

densol_2

Another £140 a week on top of maintenance of £55 a week on top of £77,000 equivalent earnings in benefit ! Just put your hand in your pocket and PAY someone to look after your kids so you can have a break ! Jeez

Mupette

wow when did we start getting nasty, ok so she gets alot more than most of us, is there any need to be like this,

Maybe the OP can be offered advice of managing money, places she could take her children with their needs, perhaps she needs a break (actually it sounds like she is at breaking point),

nannytone_2

Mupette wrote: »

wow when did we start getting nasty, ok so she gets alot more than most of us, is there any need to be like this,

Maybe the OP can be offered advice of managing money, places she could take her children with their needs, perhaps she needs a break (actually it sounds like she is at breaking point),

to be fair, the OP was on the benefits board asking if SHE could pay herself the direct payments to care for her children and also claim working tax credits as well because she would be employing herself!

it said nothing about getting help in order to have a break.... just what her chances were or getting extra money

Mupette

nannytone wrote: »

to be fair, the OP was on the benefits board asking if SHE could pay herself the direct payments to care for her children and also claim working tax credits as well because she would be employing herself!

it said nothing about getting help in order to have a break.... just what her chances were or getting extra money

Yes I did read that,

I find it very difficult to write the right words, MS has truely scrambled my brain, i don't often say the right thing, especially when i feel under pressure, can't think straight,

I think what she was trying to do is get the direct credit payments so she could call herself an employee to get tax credits for the childcare element so she could get childcare help,

It seems she may have tried to go at this the wrong way I suspect i would of thought of all kinds of crackpot ideas if i was stuck at home unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel, well yes i do but not with kids with my employers and discrimination but that is another story.

On paper she looks well off, but she won't physically get all the money, example rent £650 a month she doesnt get given that to spend either its given straight to landlord or to be given to landlord, council tax etc etc.

I have no knowledge of her children's illness or needs,

What i find disturbing is and worse within the disabled crowd, how bitter we have become because someone has more than others, I hate my life, i hate my disabilities MS is just one of them, no need for me to list them all, I wish there was a magic pill and all will be cured forever, but its not, and you just have to make best of what you got, i don't have money, about to be forced out of my job, no chance of another. The OP clearly has more than me, but she has children who will depend on her 24/7 more than children without needs, she was asking for advice, all she got on here was bitter judgement.

fed_up_and_stressed

Mupette wrote: »

On paper she looks well off, but she won't physically get all the money, example rent £650 a month she doesnt get given that to spend either its given straight to landlord or to be given to landlord, council tax etc etc.

She gets smi for her mortgage jointly owned with someone who has £113k inheritence, most ....and plans to sell it to purchase a buy to let.