£50k gambling debt..

chris_pea

Hi all, I`m new here so be good to me, please.

I just hope this story can help someone maybe before its to late.

This is quite a long story but I would feel better telling the whole one rather than just bits.

I have a partner and a little boy of nearly 2 years old. We have our own place but rent it from the council at the moment.

I have always had gambling problems, since I was legal to drink in pubs. It did start by playing fruit machines, spending my whole wages on a Friday night most the time. It then went onto football betting on coupons etc. But a couple of years ago I started online gambling, I would bet on football matches anything up to £1000 a match, most the time i would win due to my football knowledge, but soon came unstuck with a couple of big losses. Well, after all this I signed up to some online gambling sites. Soon after i found myself betting on anything from tennis to basketball which i knew nothing about. One day I ended up losing holiday money which i had saved up for in the space of about 30 mins while at work bored on my phone. I then thought to myself `what the hell am i going to do?` so after work I went on down to the bank who sorted me out with a loan of £8000 (I asked for more because I had debts on various different cards and I wanted bit to gamble with) So.. we went on holiday, had a great time, came back and discovered my girlfriend was pregnant! We panicked at first but sat down and spoke and planned what we were going to do. We saved for 9 months and got a house from the local council, done the house up, brought a car & baby stuff. I really struggled to come to grips with having the baby around, I went from going out every weekend, seeing friends etc to not doing anything at all. It hit me hard, It has made me depressed and im currently taking tablets for it.

Anyway, about 16 months passed with our new arrival and I was beginning to feel better and finding things a little easier. Then out of the blue I got offered a pretty decent job which I took February this year, currently still working here. And with the new job came more money. But, over the last 6 months I have managed to rack up debt of over £50,000 playing online slots sometimes playing as big as £100 a spin!! I got this money through loans and cards. Basically I did have a really good credit rating, so I applied for various loans which I got accepted for. With one loan i gambled and paid off some debt, but what i gambled with i actually won! around £9,000. I brought a few things with this, freezer, fridge, new car for mom, new carpets in our house, and paid the council to drop our kerbs so we could have a drive on front of our house. With what winnings i had left which was about £3,000, i gambled and lost all of it, leaving me annoyed, depressed and feeling stupid. So, while at work in front of my computer i applied for a loan of £12,500 from my bank which i got accepted for again. But, it wasn't long before that had gone! on gambling. Well it wasn't long before I was applying for another loan, this time i asked for £20,000. Of course i got that and of course i lost it, very quickly! I just thought to myself it'll be ok i can afford the monthly payments over 5 years. Then one day after that I thought to myself i can get these monthly payments down if i shop around a bit, i found a loan with a lower interest so applied for £20,000, but thought hang on lets apply for 2 loans instead. I got both those loans paid into my bank that same week! So i paid off one £20,000 loan, leaving me with £20,000 which i didn't need or want sitting in my bank. So i rang the loan provider to pay it back, only for them to tell me that their systems were down and i couldn't pay it back at that time. Temptation sunk in very quickly and i found myself transferring £1,000 a time into my online slot site. This went on for 3/4 weeks until today where i have lost the lot! and i now have 2 very loans which i cant afford to pay back with their monthly payments of £470.00 per month on each.

My girlfriend knows about my gambling but not how much i owe, if she knew this she would leave me for sure, she has said that she would if carried on gambling, but i cant stop! I would sneak off to the loo, down the shed, at the gym, at work basically whenever im alone i just wan to gamble, its like i cant stop myself, like another person is inside my head telling me to do it, and i seriously cannot say to him!

Today, I`m that low and depressed that I`m even considering suicide, I know its very spiteful thing to do, especially because i have a young child and a large family, they would be devastated, but i honestly dont see any other way out. I have felt suicidal for a very long time, and have lost friends through it, my last friend hung himself and all i thought was `fair play to him`, I would seriously have no problems at all killing myself because my life is such a mess at the moment. But having said that not only would i leave behind my son and my family i would be leaving them with my debt. But when i do die, i have a scheme at work where my family would get money from my pension fund plus a year salary. So that money would help with my debts i guess.

Paully232000

a few things to start with.
Get yourself an appointment with your GP, now
Get yourself an appointment with one of the gambling charities such as http://www.gamcare.org.uk/
speak to a debt charity such as the national debtline, https://www.nationaldebtline.org/

chris_pea

I would also like to add that I have been to gamcare and I`m due to start CBT therapy next week.

Gamcare i did find that it was making situations worse for me, the appointments were very stressful to get to after work, and didnt really address my problems as such.

Karen777

http://www.samaritans.org/ or you can call them free on 116 123.
gamcare also offer online support as do GA - http://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/

well done for posting on here - you are clearly trying to find a way out. There are some other people on this forum who have struggled as you are and it's one step at a time - one hour at a time.

keep talking and posting and things can be worked out. you are not alone in this even if it feels like it.

National_Debtline

Hi Chris_pea,


Paully232000 is right, you should try and get some help for the how this debt is effecting your state of mind. It may be worth contacting the Samaritans - 0845 790 9090 for a chat.


As far as the debts are concerned there is always a solution and it is about finding the solution that works for you (and your family). Because you have a mortgaged property it is unlikely that you will look at bankruptcy or IVA's as they would put your home at the most risk. But there is no reason why you couldn't look at negotiation options.


With the right support you could repay these debts at a rate you can afford over time, there is no need to do anything extreme. There is a lot more advice we can give (as can other free and independent advice services) and we will help you find the solution that suits you.


Laura
@natdebtline

Ian011

National_Debtline wrote: »

It may be worth contacting the Samaritans - 0845 790 9090 for a chat.

The 0845 number is a premium line with a 2p per minute Service Charge and an Access Charge of up to 12p per minute from landlines or up to 45p per minute from mobiles.

Since 2009, Samaritans have had a number which is free to call from landlines and from mobiles. This number is 116123. Since 22 September 2015 Samaritans have been advertising this as their main number.

fatbelly

National_Debtline wrote: »

As far as the debts are concerned there is always a solution and it is about finding the solution that works for you (and your family). Because you have a mortgaged property it is unlikely that you will look at bankruptcy or IVA's as they would put your home at the most risk. But there is no reason why you couldn't look at negotiation options.

With 50k debt, a homeowner and some surplus income I wouldn't rule out a protocol IVA

Is the OP a homeowner with a mortgage? I'm unsure what 'We have our own place but rent it from the council at the moment' actually means.

If not a homeowner, then all the options (incl bankruptcy) are still on the table

chris_pea

I don't own a property, we rent from council. Sorry for the confusion

Muhren

Hi Chris, firstly well done for posting here I know how hard that must have been to do.

Your experience reminds me so much of mine and relate to everything that you have spoken about. Coming from someone who ended up in hospital after doing something stupid I can tell you that isn't the answer and there is a way out.

I am nearly 3 years down the line from that horrendous day and I can tell you that things are a hell of a lot better, not perfect but who is perfect?

I go to GA and would reccomend you give it a try as you will be around people who know what you are going through. I would also recommend that you cut off as many avenues to being able to gamble as possible. To start with I use a bit of software called K9 which you can dwnload on to your computer, you set it up to block certain types of websites, so in your case gambling. You will need to get someone that you trust to put a password in so that you can't change the settings.

Get rid of your smart phone and get a phone that has no access to the internet so you cut that option out. You can self exclude from the bookies around you so you can't go in there to gamble, on top of this I would advise that you give your bank cards to your partner and only carry money on you that you need for the day.

You need to stop gambling before you worry about sorting your debts out as if you don't anything you put in place will be a waste of time.

As you can see from my sig I started off with large debts and have been working over the last 3 years to bring them down. If I can do it so can you! All the best with beating this horrible disease and if you want anymore advise feel free to ask in this thread or pm me and I will try and answer as best I can.

HappyMJ

K9 is on Google Play for Android and Apple Store for iphones and ipads.

National_Debtline

Ian011 wrote: »

The 0845 number is a premium line with a 2p per minute Service Charge and an Access Charge of up to 12p per minute from landlines or up to 45p per minute from mobiles.

Since 2009, Samaritans have had a number which is free to call from landlines and from mobiles. This number is 116123. Since 22 September 2015 Samaritans have been advertising this as their main number

Thank you Ian011, you are right - this is the better number for the Samaritans.

fatbelly wrote: »

If not a homeowner, then all the options (incl bankruptcy) are still on the table

Fatbelly is also right, because the OP is not a homeowner (thank you for clarifying - I had misunderstood some of the details you gave) this will open up more options to deal with the debts. I hope you are able to get some free and personalised advice to help you deal with things.


Laura
@natdebtline