My social worker is advising me to put my son into voluntary care

shopaholicz

Hi S!!!!y193,

First of all let me just say how brave you're being.

I'm a foster carer and we've had 2 foster placements recently where the family has been unable to care for their children for a short while. One was on health grounds and the other was a lady who left her husband and had nowhere to live with her 3 children. Both put their children in care voluntarily.

The single parent who was in hospital, got her son back after being out of hospital for about 4 weeks. Her son had contact in the hospital 3 times a week and after she came out of hospital it took her 3-4 weeks to feel up to caring for her son again. The boy we had placed went back home for weekends only for 3 weeks before moving back home full time. He was with us for about 3 months in total.

The mother who left her husband, who it turned out also had issues with alcohol herself, had initially contacted social services and asked for her 3 children to be put into care while she sorted herself out. They were in care for almost a year, one with us and the 2 younger ones with another carer. They had weekly family contact.

Both parents took their children out of care when they wanted to. One worked with their sw and the other one just wanted them back and the sw had to agree.

I don't see any problems getting your child back when you want to as long as it's a voluntary agreement.

I can foresee problems if you let it go down the line, get any worse health wise, and the sw thinks it's best to put your son into care without your permission. Then it would be harder to get your son back when you wanted to.

Whatever you decide, I wish you well. Remember that foster carers are not bad people and will have the time and attention to give that your son needs. You can also still have an input into that care ie, asking that your son be put into care locally so that he can visit you more often....deciding when you want visits or phone contact. As long as it's voluntary care I think you hold more cards.

LandyAndy

For some reason I can't quote atm without certain letters being replaced by '!'s. think it may be an attack.


I agree with Guest101 though.

KRB2725

Has your sister said she can't look after him? There is no way that I would see my nieces or nephews put into foster care rather than look after them myself, no matter how difficult it was for me.

Rambosmum

emmatthews wrote: »

Has your sister said she can't look after him? There is no way that I would see my nieces or nephews put into foster care rather than look after them myself, no matter how difficult it was for me.

Until you've been in that position it is very hard to judge. She needs to put her own children first and bringing in another child, even a relative, full time can significantly impact the family dynamics, including emotionally (on the sister and her children) and financially - familial foster carers don't get the funding private foster carers do. I've been involved in a number of familial foster arrangements which have broken down, it comes very painful for all involved.

gilett

LandyAndy wrote: »

For some reason I can't quote atm without certain letters being replaced by '!'s. think it may be an attack.


I agree with Guest101 though.

It's because the name you are trying to quote contains the word 'hell'. Blame the censor.

jackomdj

My Aunty is a foster career and has done many short term placements over the years where the children are with her for days, weeks or months then they go back to their parent or parents. These children have had regular contact with their parents.

She has also had long term placements where the children have minimum contact with parents.

Ultimately it is whatever is best for the children.

As previous posters have said this is not the best place to get advice as each situation is different, although ultimately they will do what is best for your child.

gettingtheresometime

I have no idea of what's involved but would it be possible to have a meeting with the social worker with an independent advocate in attendance?

KARO

On the off-chance that this is genuine and not just one of the many click-bait stories that litter up this board, I would advise, as above, that you don't seek help for such an important decision from a bunch of anonymous user-names on a forum.

VfM4meplse

That doesn't mean she's not in distress, or isn't genuine in her request for a response to the specific question.

(Text removed by MSE Forum Team)

pickledonionspaceraider

I haven't ready any of your previous posts OP so don't know your previous posting history

It is impossible for us to say if this is for the best, only you know your current situation, what the illness etc is that you are suffering, how long it has been going on, is your child suffering hugely due to the current situation, if there is likely to be an improvement in the near future etc., how desperate you are with your current situation for yourself and for your child, if there is anything you can do to assist a speedy recovery. Only you know this

This is a huge decision that only can make.

To be honest with you, I have never had any dealings direct with SS so cannot comment on the other question of could you get your child back on the voluntary basis idea