how to leave

harl

i been thinking for a long time to leave my husband but i dont have any where to live and no job i have a little savings , my relationship with my husband has grown to just friendship and its my fault becuse i dont think i love him in any other way ,im in my late forties and dont know wher to start ,has anyone eles been here ,can you help ,

ukbandit

friendship is not a bad thing. are you saying you cant live with him anymore and want a different life? if so then thats different.

Noctu

I don't want to sound judgemental as I don't know your situation... but couldn't you make another go of your marriage? Try and find the spark again?

isualive

Is he in love with you? Does he love you more than in a friendship way?

BernadetteN

You haven't really given much detail but on the little that you have given, I would not see it as a good reason to leave. Perhaps your view of marriage is different to mine and perhaps because we have 4 kids together it makes a difference, but it would take alot more than falling out of love with my husband for me to leave him. Our vows included "for better or worse".

harl

he always tells me that he loves me ,thats what makes it harder to leave. all our children have got familys of their own now .i was married verry young my husband 15 yrs older than me . i dont fancy him anymore and we dont have a phisical relationship if u know what i mean .i tryd to leave 7 yrs ago but he said he would end his life if i did ,what i wanted to know has anyone managed to leave and start again

skintmostofthetime

I know what you mean and can see `where you're going' as they say. DON'T GO UNTIL YOU'VE GOT SOMEWHERE SAFE. I've been through this and com eout the other side - and I'm not saying you will. Sometimes you just need a good shove to realise things aren't right. HAve you tried to`liven up' things? I found

skintmostofthetime

I know what you mean and can see `where you're going' as they say. DON'T GO UNTIL YOU'VE GOT SOMEWHERE SAFE. I've been through this and comeout the other side - and I'm not saying you will. Sometimes you just need a good shove to realise things aren't right. HAve you tried to`liven up' things? I found this worked for us and HE didn't even know we were @ that stage in our lives (bless/shoot him !!)
It could be just the b****y meno - it works in VERY strange ways - It might not be but you need to be sure B 4 you do anything.

try to think about what has happened. try to think about what he has/hasn't done, above all - don't panic. We all have bad times - my Husb suffer from depression and I've decided to leave several times - but I'm still ere. - although I do wonder why !!

harl

i will proberly keep saving untill somthing or some one makes it happen for me to find the courage thanks for the replys

littlemissmoney

Hi harl. Do you have anyone you could stay with for a while? One of your children maybe? A good friend? It might give you some breathing space? xxx

isualive

My aunty is 53 and after 35 years of marriage she felt the same as you! After much soul searching, rows etc her husband left! It's not been easy but she is so glad she finally had the courage to say how she felt, she had been miserable for so many years. Your DH threatening to kill himself 7 years ago is so hard on you, makes you feel forced to stay, and too scared to mention it again! Don't feel blackmailed by him, you deserve a happy life. Good luck with it and thinking of you during this difficult time. xx