Should I go back to work full time

Towser

I am rattling around the house while my son is at school. I have 19 years till I retire. I can always find things to do but feel guilty hubby is earning the lion share and will probably work until he dies or is invalided out.

My older son likes it that I am at home when he leaves and returns from school. He doesn't want me to go back to work. He says we have enough money. He doesn't like holidays prefers to stay at home and likes the house and car we have. He doesn't see the point

As long as I am a carer for my ASD son the pension part of it is sorted.

If I went back to work we would definitely have to have an au pair to care for the boys (ASD9 and 10) before and after school. Will it be worth it?

Do I accept that I will never be rich one way or the other?

I don't know what to do.

HappyMJ

Money's not everything but doing something outside of the house can certainly help you. It's doesn't need to be paid full time work. You could do some voluntary work during the day.

It probably won't be worth actually doing paid full time work due to the additional costs you will have and there will be transport costs to get you to/from work to take into account.

Me...If I didn't have to work I wouldn't but I would be doing as much as possible to fill my day.

MummyMoo

This is a really good website for finding volunteer opportunities ... https://do-it.org/

Some colleges do 'leisure courses' in things like water painting, cooking etc. They are usually only a few weeks long (e.g. six weeks) so don't require a massive commitment.

I'm a primary school teacher by trade (although out of work due to mental health reasons), but I know that any school would snap you up if you offered even a few hours voluntary work every week, especially if you can help out another child with ASD. If I had a parent in my class with your level of experience in helping a child with ASD I'd be made up! Imagine, you could make a difference to another child's life plus you could work 10am-2pm so that your son still had you at the times he is used to. Just a thought

cattermole

I agree money is not everything and it gives you more time for your children, yourself and your husband. It would probably put more pressure on your husband if you did work, because you would have less time to do the other things that need doing, which make it easier for him to not have to share household chores, cooking, gardening etc. Picking up children from school and devoting your time to them.

Work is vastly over-rated IMO but doing something else is not all the suggestions so far are great. Mutual support to other parents with disabilities. is also very worthwhile and builds great friendships.

duchy

How would you handle school holidays ?

I took a working from home job in the end as my ASD son found it very unsettling that he couldn't predict exactly when I'd be home from work (traffic, last minute rush at work etc) and he got very unsettled - I t worked out to be the best of both worlds for us.

Not sure how rich you think you are going to be after paying for termtime and school holiday childcare though

Towser

All very good advice. I shall try to enjoy myself a bit more then, not feel so guilty.

At least we are debt free but not mortgage free.

toomuchinfo

Towser wrote: »

All very good advice. I shall try to enjoy myself a bit more then, not feel so guilty.

At least we are debt free but not mortgage free.

Good thinking. My son has ASD too and I always say that no amount of money can buy us what we really want.

Towser

oh I am feeling restless again today. So I have been looking at jobs. My choices are:

a) do nothing, stay at home care for my son become restless once in a while.
b) take on a part time minimum wage job during school hours
c) do a self employed cleaning round during school hours
d) do the job I usually do but would have to take on an au pair
e) other/volunteer during my spare time

What do you think? I am sure there are other choices which I am bouncing off you.

Want_to_be_free

I worked, full time. I had no other choice. My son suffered. I suffered. If your family have enough money, don't work. Find hobbies outside the house for your own wellbeing and care for your children for their wellbeing.

missbiggles1

Towser wrote: »

oh I am feeling restless again today. So I have been looking at jobs. My choices are:

a) do nothing, stay at home care for my son become restless once in a while.
b) take on a part time minimum wage job during school hours
c) do a self employed cleaning round during school hours
d) do the job I usually do but would have to take on an au pair
e) other/volunteer during my spare time

What do you think? I am sure there are other choices which I am bouncing off you.

f) Start your own business and work your hours round your family.

Starrystarrynight1

Your idea of setting up a cleaning business, working around the time you spend with your family sounds like a winner to me. You get to work & be out of the house, and your family are still happy that you're around for them.