Our long dark road towards the light of freedom

Lizloz

Here it is...laid out in full...my diary that I need to write in order to keep me (and my husband) sane and motivated in order to payoff the mass of debt we currently have. I have so many ideas in my head about how I want to write this diary, but I think, at the end of the day, it's better to be blunt and honest with myself and with those of you who are willing to read this if we're going to finally pay off what we owe and live a better life not just for us, but for our two beautiful girls.

My husband and I have been together now for 15 years and out of those years, I can only remember one day where we thought we had come to the end of being in debt, only for him to do his back in, putting us back to square one as he only gets SSP from work and we had no emergency funds.

So...the biggie....we are currently £36,000 in debt...this is made up of loans, credit cards and family. I've lost count of the number of times we have tried to do something about it and failed and it makes me so angry that the solution has been there all along but we chose to ignore it....budgeting!

My husband is in a very good job but works 4 (sometimes 5) nights a week - this is a permanent arrangement and one he has a love/hate relationship with.

I am currently on maternity leave and am mom to a 4 year old and 5 month old. The baby was born in May and I was really hoping to be able to stay off until the end of the year but regrettably I am going to have to go back sooner than I had planned and am really struggling to come to terms with this - I think the way I feel about this compared to how I felt about going back after having had our first has made me so much more determined to get rid of this debt once and for all because what we're paying out on our debts should have enabled me to take a year off from work and that makes me angry :mad:. I know it's our own fault but it is what it is and now is the time to do something about it.

Since having my actual real LBM back at the start of August 2015, since writing every single penny down that we have coming in and going out, since setting ourselves a limit to how much spare cash we can allow ourselves each week, I have not had to use my credit card one single time and it feels so good so I hope I can keep the momentum up!!

What I'm not going to do now is dwell on the past I can't do that any more as I need to focus all my energy on the future and take each day as it comes.

So once the budgeting was decided, we had to decide the best way to get our debt down just that little bit quicker. This week I have listed a few bits & bobs on ebay which are due to finish tomorrow - it won't make a massive amount but every little helps I guess!

We also managed to get a new CC for my husband in order to do a 0% transfer and there was also enough room to take some money off the card (at 0% until Sept '17) so that I can pay off a stagnant overdraft which I was paying £12/week in to but was being charged about £31/month for!

I already do my food shopping in Aldi - I love it there and have shopped here for many years now - I set myself a £40/week limit and am proud to say that 9 times out of 10, I never go over this limit and as a family, we eat pretty well!! One bonus I guess is that neither of us are big drinkers and we don't smoke. One sneaky way I cut my clothes washing bill down is when my dad rings me from Asda to ask if there's anything I need and he always gets me a box of powder &/or softener and never has a penny off me...."If I can't buy my daughter a box of washing powder now and then, there's something wrong in the world!..." bless him.

Here is what we owe:
Santander loan = £3328 / £208/month - finishes Jan' 2017
Father-in-law = £9892 / £390/month - finishes Oct' 2017*
Barclaycard (in my name) = £6986 / £160/month (0%)
MBNA (in husband's name) = £3968 / £148/month (0%)
MBNA (in my name) = £1083 / £40/month (29.9% APR)
Tesco loan = £11,094 / £258/month - finishes Summer 2019

Total owing = £36,351 - WE NEED THIS GONE!!

* = Two years ago, my father-in-law very kindly offered us a loan to pay off our credit cards and overdraft. He had just retired and had received a very healthy sum of money which he realised wasn't going to earn him a huge amount of interest sitting in the bank. We got to talking about money one day and the next thing we knew, he offered to pay off what we owed so that we could pay him back (plus interest), and see our outstanding balances come down quicker - this has sparked many a debate with a number of people as many believe that he should not be charging us 7% interest as we are family and firmly believe that he shouldn't be charging us anything at all. We have been loosely told by him recently that he is not going to charge us all the interest so we might finish paying him back a few months early but this has not yet been firmly agreed....not holding much hope on this!

I hope you're still reading this - I hope to inspire, I hope to stay on top of things and I hope to get out of this mess.

TTFN!

Turningacorner_2

Hi there lizloz. Good luck on your journey, you do sound very determined and that counts for a lot. You're doing the right thing focusing on the future and the positives. I know you're angry about the past, but you can't change it, so there is no value to dwell on it (apart from lessons learned).

I'll be following you along the way, good luck x

Lacherlich

Hi.

All the best for paying off your debts! A similar amount of debt to me and my OH, £35k. But only I am seriously focused on paying off my half of it - the debt which is under my name. He doesn't see it as such a big deal and that we can get by on what we have left each month etc. I on the other hand am more determined than ever as should really be able to enjoy life more than I currently do.

I look forward to following your journey!

Lizloz

Dear DF diary - today has been an ok-ish day. I made the grand total of £7.87 from a few little sales on ebay today. This is the amount left once postage and fees have been paid so I've paid this straight off my MBNA card, which now stands at £1075.56. I know this will go up a little bit once this month's interest gets added on but at least I'll still make my normal payment.

I've been out with my dad today to visit an Aunt I haven't seen in ages so it was nice to catch up with her. On the way back to dad's we called in at McD's and my dad treated me bless him.

I popped to the in-law's after picking DD1 up from school - I started crying when she asked me (again!) about when I was going to go back to work - I was honest and told her it may have to be sooner rather than later as we needed to start getting some more money around us for when our mortgage re-payments start up again in January (we are currently on a 6 month maternity break with NRAM) and if I put off going back to work any longer it will mess us up big time. I told her I was really struggling to come to terms with this and had I had my LBM this time last year and started budgeting when we discovered we were expecting then things would definitely be a lot different....I don't often cry in front of other people, especially my mother-in-law.

DD1 really cheered me up on the way home by pulling the cutest, funniest faces - she's hilarious and always seems to make things better.

One downer is that hubby has 'man-flu' and isn't well enough to go in to work...which means his wages next week are going to be dire

TTFN

Lizloz

Dear DF diary - good evening! Quick update before I knuckle down to the mountain of ironing that is staring right at me - needs to be done whilst watching a couple of tv quiz shows (just to keep the grey matter ticking!!).

I packaged up and posted all my parcels today - the postage on two came to a little bit less than I had charged so a couple of extra quid in my back pocket!

Does anyone know how this new 10 points per litre of fuel at Sainsbury's is meant to work?? I put our weekly allowance in today and was expecting about 220 points but my receipt stated 22 - is there a minimum spend or do they get added at a later date?? I also downloaded a bonus 200 points from my phone app'.

I managed to do a bit of wombling today - I managed to grab a few receipts at a self service till but think I'll only get about 4 points - ah well, they'll all add up!

I forgot to mention yesterday that DD1 grabbed some 'roadkill' in the playground yesterday and came home with 4p bless her!

It's been a very small spend day - just topped up with a few groceries from Aldi (& I took my own bag so 5p saved there!).

Hubby is not 100% but has gone to work...begrudgingly!

All in all, a good day.

Hope everyone is well!

TTFN!

Payments made so far as of 7/10/2015:
Santander loan = £208 - 15 more to go - current balance = £3120
Father-in-Law loan = £390 - 23 x £396 and 1 x £388 to go - current balance = £9496
Barclaycard CC = Current balance = £6966
MBNA (hubby) CC = Current balance = £3985
MBNA (me) CC = Current balance = £1075
Tesco loan = £258 - 42 more to go - current balance = £10,836
O/S balance of debt = £35,478 = £873 paid since LBM

Lizloz

Morning Diary! Just having a little break while DD2 is taking a nap - got a fab old school 90's music channel on so I'm having a little reminisce about the good ol' days where I didn't HAVE to worry about anything except for how I was going to get my homework done on time, what was I going to do when I 'grew up' and all the usual, casual, carefree choices I could make at the time.

I do remember one teacher at school who taught Home Economics - she was so lovely and I know it's a topic that has been brought in to the news recently where it is felt that children at school need to be taught more about finances and what impact getting in to loads of debt can do to a person later on in life. This teacher I re-call did give us one very basic lesson about how she paid for a holiday on a credit card and how much it was costing her to pay it back...and that was it....our lesson in money management!

Got today's money saving off to a good start - popped to Tesco after dropping DD1 off at school and wombled a receipt worth 2 whole points! I was supposed to visit a friend this morning but it's had to be cancelled...fuel saved!

I'll be back later if there's anything else to post so TTFN

lazer-zxr

Hi LizLoz,

I'm really enjoying reading your diary. Reading good diaries like this, really keeps me motivated.

I've never thought of wombling receipts before .... interesting. I also need to ebay more stuff ... thanks for being inspirational on that.

Great progress on your debt so far, well done. Try to keep up the momentum.

You're not alone, and part of a great community here who share and are resolving the same problems, I'm now on £44k debt down from £50k in Feb. Sickening like you said, and regretable .... but I'm enjoying the challenge to resolve it, and enjoying this community.

It's going to be a long hard slog, I can't even imagine what it'll feel like to finally clear it.

Lizloz

Ah thank you Lazer - I am enjoying writing it, I used to keep a diary all the time when I was a teenager, but I don't get hand cramp typing this!

To be honest with you, the thought of not being in debt does scare the be-jeezus out of me in one way! I can't imagine what it will be like to have so much spare money but now that I feel that I am in control and I'm the one in charge not it in charge of me, I feel that we can and will be sensible with it...how lovely it would be to pay off our mortgage early (but that's another forum!).

TTFN!

Lizloz

Dear DF diary - good morning! Well, we've been to Homebase today to get some fence panels - didn't cost us very much at all as we had an insurance replacement card so the money went on buying these panels as the garden doesn't feel very secure at the moment plus I got nectar points added to my card.

Hubby wanted a cooked breakfast this morning...bit like a Friday morning 'date' as we drop DD1 off at school and usually get breakfast after - I didn't feel massively hungry so just had a drink while he tucked in to a massive cooked breakfast (I did pinch a couple of mushrooms mind!).

I've got a big bag of clothes to take in to be weighed - not expecting much but what I do get I will use to pay towards my CC. I think I'll pay it off one of the 0% cards this time because I think (psychologically) it might be better to start seeing these balances coming down (albeit slowly) without having any interest added on.

I told my hubby this morning that I'm going to have to go back to work next month - I was half expecting him to encourage me to have the time off and that it wouldn't matter and we would manage....but no...he was quite accepting and to be honest, is probably the reaction I was looking for because I can be easily persuaded by him but I know it's the best thing for us and when I explained to him that I needed to do it so we don't get in a mess come January, he was very understanding.

We've got a night out planned tomorrow - we're off to see the group of Fishermen from Port Isaac who we're big fans of. I've already got our 'allocated spend' withdrawn but need to pay our babysitter with this too so if we spend up, we spend up so it's looking like a few NSD's next week Hey-ho.

TTFN

Lizloz

Dear diary - here we are...morning again....one day closer to being DF!

DD1 is currently watching YouTube videos via the tv, every single one being something to do with Christmas....aaagggh!! There are people on FB who keep posting silly pictures with a countdown as to how many Fridays it is until Christmas Day....I swear, every time I see one of these posts, I get an extra grey hair!

I took a drive to where I thought my local cash for clothes place was yesterday, only to find it had closed down Fuel wasted there then, but I do know of another one so I'll go there today.

No takeaway ordered last night - I made a cottage pie instead with homemade yorkie puds. I bought a new non-stick tin just a few weeks ago and now, all of a sudden, the non-stick is suddenly all sticky! The puds still tasted yummy though. I had to smile as our nephew came round last night to have a practice run at putting the girls to bed as he is babysitting tonight for the first time, and I told him that although his nan (my mother-in-law) always brags that her cottage pie is the best, my husband actually likes mine better (but hasn't told his mom this!) - our nephew said he'd be the judge of that and after polishing his plate off he said it was, in-fact, the best and tastiest pie he'd ever eaten....score!!!

Today, the hubby and I will be attempting to put up the new fence and will then start getting ready for a long overdue night out...can't wait!

TTFN

jkm1000

Just started reading this, very best of luck you can do it!! Keep recording day to day to ensure you stay on track. All the very best. Quite a few similarities between us