Struggling to settle into a new role

richdeniro

Not really sure why I am posting this but here goes...

I recently started a new job at a big media company in London - a big household name. This is after years of working for organisations that could barely be described as medium sized - I did 7 years in a public sector organisation in an office with just two other people (although everyone knew each other in the building and there were lots of social events) and then my last 2 years have been spent at a startup with around 40 people although working alongside a finance team of just two others.

The new place is huge - 5 floors of open plan offices and I am based in the finance department all on one floor - there is as many people in this finance department as there was in my last company. It's a reputable place and many, many people seem to have long and happy careers there. It was supposed to be a hugely positive change in direction for me and having been made redundant from my dream job a couple of years ago I went in with high hopes (it was supposed to be the escape from my rut and worries of job security that comes with a startup).

However, having been there for 10 weeks now and approaching the end of my probation period I feel like I am really struggling to settle in. I don't think I have had one positive thing to say about the place since starting (from my own point of view).

The role itself is something I think I will be fine with, I initially struggled at first but seem to be getting the hang of it now. My team and supervisor are all based out in America and they have hired me in London to provide finance support to the EMEA Sales team (which is based in the same building as me but on a different floor) as the time difference between here and America wasn't working for them or their clients.

I've never worked in a large company before and am definitely going through some adjustment around that. In addition to this, it's quite a "cold" place on a personal level. It's not uncommon for colleagues with whom you may be working directly behind a few feet away to not have even spoken to each other. Some people don't even say good morning to their immediate team when they arrive and leave in the evening without saying a word anyone else as they put their coat on and walk out.

My biggest problem is the isolation. I literally have nothing to do even on a work level with anyone else based in the office so there is zero contact whatsoever. When I started back in July I was placed on a spare desk with the credit control team who had their own team dynamic and kept themselves largely to themselves - they would go to lunch together as a team, etc. I wasn't introduced to anyone else in the department or even shown around the building and the various teams are mostly tight knit and friends amongst themselves. Last week it got 10 times worse as there was a desk move and I was dumped on a bank of 6 spare desks by myself. I have literally gone the entire week without speaking to another human being and it has really gotten to me. I'm thinking negatively and my anxiety is through the roof - I dread going in and feel like everyday is my first day.

I haven't bought any of this up with my supervisor as she is based in America and so our contact is mostly limited to work related issues, she comes across as very professional and she trained me relatively well given the challenges of doing it over the phone and sharing screens or talking over IM. I also don't want to come across as moaning about where I'm sitting as it sounds like something a child would do especially as it sounds like her office in America is made up of those cubicles that you see in American movies.

I thought I would give it some time as I am fairly shy (probably minor social anxiety) and so always take some time to settle and make new friends when I start a new job but after almost 3 months it just doesn't feel like it is going to happen here. I know that companies have different cultures but having come from a startup environment where almost everyone was friendly & outgoing and there was so many out of office activities to a place where I am effectively the office loner is pretty depressing.

As I say, it's been a few weeks now and I'm in a bad way mentally about the company and working environment. I'm not really sure what to do. I don't want this to sound like I'm moaning but what was supposed to be a great move for me feels like anything but.

Does anyone have any similar experiences?

Flyonthewall

Obviously it takes time to get used to a new place, especially if you are then moved to a new desk.

When at work can you listen to the radio or music so that it's not quiet and you don't feel as alone?

At lunch have you got anyone outside of the company you can meet up with or phone?

I guess the other option would be to just walk over to a team and introduce yourself.

richdeniro

Yeah luckily I can listen to my phone's music during the day which kind of takes away some of the boredom from zero interaction with anyone and I have a couple of mates working nearby that I meet up with at lunchtime once or twice a week. My lunchtime normally consists of walking from one end of Oxford Street and back again just to kill the hour.

Debtfree_wannabe_2

It generally takes me 6 months to fully integrate into a role - and I often find that I have to take the initiative and actually speak to others instead of waiting for them to talk to me. So make a real effort to speak to others - offer to make them a drink, ask them about their job or whatever. Give it another 3 months and really try to interact.

asajj

Are there any employee engagements group in the company? You might try to join one of them perhaps.
I never experienced such environment but I'm not in London. Our offices in London however are similar from what I observe/hear.
Do you have regular one to one meetings with your manager? If not, I'd look for a way arranging them. Also, I'd mention her - you could say although you are ok with the job itself, you found the office environment a bit different than what you are used to etc.

katsu

If you are there to support the sales team can you try and get moved to their floor? Say you want to maximise the help to them. Go talk to them as much as poss. Be interested in what they are doing and look to build daily contact with them?

Hth. Good luck in what ever you decide to do.

dawyldthing

Sometimes people aren't friendly in the workplace sadly. If it was me I'd just enjoy the pay check each month and give myself plenty to look forwards to in my own time

RuthnJasper

Ok, this sounds a bit naff, but...

How about getting a big cake from M&S or other decent supermarket, taking it into your work and saying to the room in general "Hi, erm, not been working here long - I'm richdeniro. Anyway, I had a party the other night and got given loads of cakes - I can't eat all of them by myself, so I thought you might like to share this one. So please just help yourself...!" Then put said cake down, smile and head back to your desk.

Any one of them with a grain of human decency, after scoffing a nice slice of the cake, will come over to you and say hello and thank-you. You can then introduce yourself properly and take it from there. Those who ignore your kind gesture are probably not worthy of your time and you can therefore get on and enjoy your job, safe in the knowledge that, at least, you tried.

I wish you all the best for success and, more importantly, happiness. x

SuzieSue

Are you male or female (it might help people with suggestions of what you should do)?

getmore4less

You have to work on building social dynamic with the people you are working.

If the time difference was the problem then what things were they needing contact for in the mornings that was causing the problems.

Another angle is to try and get involved in the business direction and planning so you can build proactive creative things into your workload that need discussing with people.

Some places people are just too busy to get involve in chit chat.

bexs2247

I feel for you. I am struggling to settle into my new job, for different reasons though. Been there 4 weeks. Struggling to the point where I have had to go to docs and get anxiety tablets!