Occupation/non-molestation order expired

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cupation/non-molestation order expired
Hi,it is nearly 1 year since my ex partner falsely claimed,and carefully calculated allegations against myself regarding the above,without any proof being needed.we have a soon to be 4 year old son between us.during this period it has caused myself considerable trauma through not seeing my son for extended periods,as well as extra cost to myself to rent,and still pay towards my sons upbringing.about 4-5 months ago my ex girlfriend has been covering the cost of the mortgage herself,albeit only paying 90% of the required monthly amount,we also had arrears,so basically this is rising,and she cannot afford it alone.i cannot contribute as i give her a set amount above what is legally due to her,as well as my rented property.i dont have spare cash to pay for solicitors,or lawyers
my questions are
1)can i move back in(even if we are not together)
2)the mortgage is falling further,and further behind,do i have a legal right through this
3)what happens when these orders expire soon

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  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
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    bigjluk wrote: »
    cupation/non-molestation order expired
    Hi,it is nearly 1 year since my ex partner falsely claimed,and carefully calculated allegations against myself regarding the above,without any proof being needed. - So it was served Ex Parte? Why did you not challenge it?? we have a soon to be 4 year old son between us.during this period it has caused myself considerable trauma through not seeing my son for extended periods,as well as extra cost to myself to rent,and still pay towards my sons upbringing.about 4-5 months ago my ex girlfriend has been covering the cost of the mortgage herself,albeit only paying 90% of the required monthly amount,we also had arrears,so basically this is rising,and she cannot afford it alone.i cannot contribute as i give her a set amount above what is legally due to her,as well as my rented property.i dont have spare cash to pay for solicitors,or lawyers
    my questions are
    1)can i move back in(even if we are not together) - Legally. Yes you can. Once the orders expire, they are no longer valid. However nothing to stop her doing the same again, especially since you didn't challenge the last one, for whatever reason.
    2)the mortgage is falling further,and further behind,do i have a legal right through this - Legal right for what? You have a responsibility to pay the mortgage.
    3)what happens when these orders expire soon - they are no longer in effect.


    Perhaps stop paying your ex extra on top of what you need and use that money for when you have your son.


    Is there a child arrangement order in place?
  • bigjluk
    bigjluk Posts: 178 Forumite
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    I did contest,as she said wewill try again, I dropped the case and he went back on her word.regarding moving back in I would set up cctv just in case or use my phone to record.there is no arrangements for the child,she lets me see him 1 hour Saturday and Sunday
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
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    bigjluk wrote: »
    I did contest,as she said wewill try again, I dropped the case and he went back on her word.regarding moving back in I would set up cctv just in case or use my phone to record.there is no arrangements for the child,she lets me see him 1 hour Saturday and Sunday



    Lets start from the beginning here a second.


    This was served Ex-Parte, correct?


    There was a hearing date set, usually with-in a week of the order, did you go?


    The CCTV will be next to useless, as she'll A just take it down, or B use it as evidence that you are 'controlling'.


    You cannot record every second of every day.


    What makes you think anything has changed? I cant believe you've gone a year without going to court and getting a proper child arrangement order set up.


    I would forget moving in (yes you can do so legally, you own the house and the order is expired), and concentrate on seeing your child for at least the average - which seems to be 4-5 days per fortnight.


    The advice might be different if you and your ex had at least some semblance of a relationship, but 1 hour on Saturday / Sunday is just showing you who's in charge.


    Perhaps you want to take control over your own life?


    Can you clarify what the allegations were against you?
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
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    OP - Though it best to read up on what happened, this may help remind you of a few things.

    October last year my ex(whom I have a 3 year old boy with) phoned me to say she had changed the locks on our house,and that i wasn't allowed back in our house(which is a joint mortgage). - At this stage, was there an order in place? It sounds like there wasn't, the prudent thing to do would be to contact a locksmith and the police at this stage.

    the police were called and asked me to go away for a couple of days,and then come back,which i did. - You should've, and should've refused. You were not under any bail conditions or court orders

    when i returned she still was not letting me in,and the police were called again(as i was getting annoyed,but no violence). - Locksmith & police should've been called by you in advance.

    so i went and stayed with a friend for a few days more, but 2 days later there was a non molestation, and occupation order served on me(with complete fabrication in it),with a court date for a hearing on the matter. - But you didn't attend the court date, so the order stood. Where-as you should've contested it, and at least got cross undertakings. What does the order actually say?

    Well 6 months have just passed ,and i am still not allowed in the house, - As I'm sure you now realise, this was always the case. i am living with my neice(for the last 5 months),but i have to leave now, as its not fair on her and her family. the problem is i cannot afford to rent myself, whilst contributing to our house, and my ex just thinks i'm making everything up to get back in, yet come 24/4/15 i will be homeless. - I guess you managed to rent somewhere?

    below i will list the main points of the situation,i was wondering if anyone had some experience of this situation,or advice.

    The court upheld the orders for a year, as i dropped challenging them(as i had agreed with my ex to try again, although when the court extended the order, she went back on her word)
    - Big mistake. Learn from it.

    over the 6 months i have paid the mortgage 3 times(50%).which has meant 3 missed payments

    she cannot afford the mortgage without me paying the mortgage
    - Then the house must be sold.

    i can just about afford it on my own

    neither of us can afford to buy each other out

    i cannot afford to rent myself,whilst paying the mortgage(which means sleeping in my car,and joining a gym where i can shower everyday) -
    You need to get your life on track, not worry about your ex.

    basically i am tramp, if i have to pay the mortgage,and i am not willing to do this)

    i could pay her csa(my circumstances say i should pay £50 per week,whilst mortgage is £200 per week, so this still would not be enough to keep the house mortgage being paid)
    - Sell it.

    the mortgage is interest only,and behind by 2k -
    That's a crazy mortgage. £800+ a month, interest only. Crazy.

    the house was bought with 90% cash by myself, since we have remortgaged twice,(mortgage now 150 k),this was down to my mistakes - You need to go to court and get this sorted.

    house has a value of 170k

    if sold we would probably end up with 10k each

    neither of us wants to sell

    if i moved back in we could reduce the arrears( as i'm going to college to be more qualified,hence more money),money would not be going down the drain on rent

    bottom line is ,i want to move back in,or take it on myself,and i cannot afford solicitors fees to take her to court

    please help


    Now remember how you felt, remember how she behaved. Time to start putting yourself first!


    Forget the house. You've got at best £10k in the property.
  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 32,764 Forumite
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    OP

    Your ex can claim Mortgage Interest Allowance BUT because you re-mortgaged it will only cover the original 10% debt.

    It will cost enough to sell the house that neither of you is going to end up with much.

    So there is no chance that she will be able to pay unless she gets a good job. Bear in mind that anything over £6K is likely to reduce the benefits that she gets aanyway.

    Go seek out families need fathers for help regarding contact.

    Write out what you want to happen re the house and child but ask a lawyer to send the letter.

    I would suggest something along the lines of:

    I cannot afford to pay the mortgage and pay rent. Neither of us can claim sufficient mortgage support from the Government and neither of us can afford to pay the mortgage.

    I have started talks with the mortgage provider regarding the current debt. If we sell promptly there may be enough equity to enable you to put down a decent deposit on a rental and have a little cash. If we delay the property may well be repossessed and neither of us will get anything.

    I would like to suggest mediation to sort this out.
    The person who has not made a mistake, has made nothing
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