Anxiety in Children

loobs40

My 11 year old daughter worries about everything to the point of obsession.

if it rains, will the house flood, if my OH goes out she panics that he is not coming back, if someone is a few minutes late she starts to worry. If the cat is not in when she goes to bed she can't sleep until she knows its come in. You name it, she will worry about it.

This has been going on for a long time now, and I wondering if I should go to my GP and see if I can get some sort of counselling for her. She enjoys school, she has lots of friends, she plays lots of sport and is fine in every other way.

Does anyone have any experience of this sort of thing ?

3KIDSNOMONEY

My 10 Year Old Started A Bit Like This When She Was 9 - But I Think That This Was A Reaction From The Way I Behave To Situations.

I Don't Know If This Sounds Daft, But It Helped Us. You Can Buy Gem Stones Which Are Just Like Little Coloured Pebbles For About £1. Each One Is Supposed To Help With Certain Things. I Bought My Daughter One Which I Thought Sounded Appropriate. I Put It In A Little Bag And Told Her When She Was Anxious/worried To Hold It. She Really Felt As Though This Helped. I Know It Doesn't Really Solve Anything But It Made Her Feel A Bit Better.

In Time The Anxiousness Seemed To Lessen. I Think Worry Comes With Growing Older, But At 11 She Shouldn't Need To Worry.

littlemissmoney

I was exactly like this from the age of about 10! I remember my mum taking me to the doctors. There was nothing wrong with me, but absolutely *everything* worried me. And I mean *everything*.

Then when I was about 14 it just stopped! So I don't really have any advice for you, but I can give you hope that she will probably just grow out of it.

shelby161

I also did something similar to 3kidsnomoney.My brother bought some worry dolls for my DD to talk to and these seem to have done the trick a bit.I also worry that a lot of it comes from me as i have suffered with anxiety problems a lot-so that gives me something else to stress about!!!

divinemissm

Hi Loobs,
Reading your post was like I was reading about my daughter.
I have had to get a new user name to post this as she loves MSE!
My daughter is also 11 and has been anxious for a couple of years now, I can pinpoint it to 2 deaths in our family. First it was worrying about us as a family, she thought something would happen to one of us when we are separated etc. Now she worries about EVERYTHING. We had an awful time getting her to school. I went to my GP who recommended counselling, but the counseller was awful, bascially every week it would be:
"how are you"? "you know you need to go to school, Mum cant be with you all the time" and this went on for about 5 weeks. In the end I removed her as we felt it was doing more harm than good. We are still thinking about a private counsellor as a friend has been through a simlilar thing with her child and has recommended someone who has done wonders for them. In the meantime its not too bad, I gave her a little book and she writes down her worries in it, at the end of each day we go through them and I try to answer her worries honestly and rationally.
Sending you lots of hugs because it really is very wearing on you and the family.
xx

beachbeth

I can remember my youngest being like this and even at the age of 17 she worries if she sees a plane crash on tv and asks if we really should fly to Spain on holiday!

I have always dealt with it by reassuring her and talking to her. I always say things like "I know that cars/planes/buses do crash, but think of all the ones that travel around every day that don't crash." I always remind her of all the lovely relatives she has that love her very much and how much we all do to make sure that the whole family stays safe and if anything should happen to any of us there are others waiting to comfort them. I also say that its normal to worry but we have to carry on day to day and try to get as much as possible out of each day that we can without letting these thoughts spoil our lives.

Really, all you can do is stay yourself calm when bad situations arise so that they follow your lead and learn to how to cope with these things. If you shriek if you so much as spill water then they learn that this is how to react!

joeblack066

My DD has always been like this, and I also found the little "Worry Dolls" helped her a lot. You can get them in Oxfam.

divinemissm

This is why I love this forum, sometimes you really feel at the end of your tether, or the only one this is happening to and you post on here and realise others are in the same boat.
It was really helpful to read this thread, and whilst I feel for all the kids, my own included, it's reassuring to know others are going through it too.
Keep your chins up Mums!
xxx

morg_monster

I went through a phase like this when I was about 10-12, worrying about fires, floods, burglaries, parents dying, etc. I'd have bad dreams about these things too, I remember having in particular some horrible dreams about floods and fires. I don't know why I started worrying, and I don't know why I stopped, but I did. I don't remember talking to my parents much about it at the time but I know they answered questions honestly, ie with the burglary thing I was most worried that they would kidnap me or hurt my parents or brother so my mum and dad said "Burglars don't try and break into a house when they know people are there, they don't want to get caught do they" - this seemed sensible to me so i stopped worrying about that so much!!

One thing that might have put these things in my head was watching the news. that can plant things in a child's head they didn't even know about! If your daughter does occasionally catch the 6 oclock news or something, maybe try and keep her away from the TV at these times. At least it might prevent future worries about the stock market or something!!

loobs40

Thanks everyone. KNowing that we are not the only ones does help enormously

I like the idea of a little book that she can write all her worries in so I will try that. I knowwas similar to her when I was about that age so maybe it runs in the family. It can be so wearing though

frivolous_fay

My sister used to be like this - my mum put it down to her being distressed on delivery! She used to worry about the tree in the garden falling on the house, etc etc.

I think she grew out of it - she's a bit more rational these days