Buying house - make arrangements if relationship breaks down?

kayleighae

Me and my boyfriend have had an offer accepted on a house and our mortgage has been approved. We are just completing all the solicitor paperwork today.
The deposit for the house is coming from my boyfriend, he has saved money by living with his mother the past couple of years. I have been paying rent and bills in full on a house for the past 20 months, he has lived with me usually half the week paying no bills.
I've agreed that should we separate and sell the house, he should get back his deposit.
However, I am contributing £1300 in fees needed to purchase the property. We have just had a discussion and he believes that in the event of us separating I should not get this money back.
I understand the money is in effect dead money, however it is my money that is being used to purchase the property. So in the event that we should separate I would be fairly annoyed that I would get nothing back at all.
I wonder what arrangements others have made?
Its not that I don't think the relationship will last, I hope this scenario never happens. Its just that I have been through a long term relationship breakdown before, and I just feel that its easier if these things are discussed beforehand so I know where I stand.

TBeckett100

Bad attitude

He hasn't contributed towards the bills hindering your deposit. He wants you to pay fees and have no return?

Best to iron this out now rather than when it comes to an end and it will if that is how he regards your contribution

Jon_B_2

Sounds like the relationship is over before it has even started.

ellesbellesxxx

I would say fine the 1300 is your part of the deposit, he will need to put fees in from his part... I think he is being unfair!
To me, in the event of needing to sell... Pay off mortgage, give you 1300 back, him his deposit back, then any equity?? Worth having that discussion too.

Mojisola

kayleighae wrote: »

I've agreed that should we separate and sell the house, he should get back his deposit.

However, I am contributing £1300 in fees needed to purchase the property. We have just had a discussion and he believes that in the event of us separating I should not get this money back.

Its not that I don't think the relationship will last

I think you're an optimist!

mrginge

This bloke sounds like a real catch.

justme111

So you are buying the house with a guy which you resent for not paying you money for staying at yours half of the week ? It does sound so wrong to me.

Mojisola

kayleighae wrote: »

he has saved money by living with his mother the past couple of years.

I have been paying rent and bills in full on a house for the past 20 months

he has lived with me usually half the week paying no bills.

You do realise that if he hadn't lived off you and his mother for the last couple of years, you would have more in savings and he would have less to put down as capital?

blueblazer

Surely it depends on whether he is contributing to the fees as well or is £1300 everything? If the £1300 is all the fees, that is definitely unfair if all his contribution is deposit and should pay half the fees so it is fair.

Herbalus

It makes it a lot easier if the money is not described as "fees" and "deposit". You put in £1300, he puts in say £10,000, and what does it matter which pays the fees and which the deposit? Why don't you pay half the fees each if they're going to be written off?

You also need to consider who is paying the mortgage, as presumably any equity built up will need to be split according to who paid the most in mortgage payments.

In my relationship I am the one who pays for everything (mortgage, council tax, food, the car), which means my OH spends less than 20% of her monthly salary, mainly in starbucks. I'm not worried about what is hers and what is mine, but I find it a lot easier than having joint finances (and she gives me a load when I tell her I've run out of course). I don't expect anybody to be mad enough to do as I do either

justme111

They did not manage to achieve understanding while not living together as she keeps tally of how many nights he spent at hers while not contributing - counting months exactly and how many days a week. What are the chances of them being on the same page when more significant money than used water for showers are involved ? It's so strange it is surreal.