Depression due to circumstances

FBaby

If I was 10 years younger I don't think I'd be feeling this way. But, 10 years ago I had a more active social life, felt more optimistic about the future and lived for the day.
I want to remain optimistic that it's not too late, but it's hard to get out there when I feel this way. Catch 22.

Then what you need is not pills but to take control of your life and to do so, to make plans and starting taking each step to get there. What is it that you fear the most? Not being a mum, not having a partner, debts that you can't clear, loneliness? What can you actually do to make a change? What you can't do is reverse time, so you have to focus on the future.

Gaia2014

FBaby wrote: »

Then what you need is not pills but to take control of your life and to do so, to make plans and starting taking each step to get there. What is it that you fear the most? Not being a mum, not having a partner, debts that you can't clear, loneliness? What can you actually do to make a change? What you can't do is reverse time, so you have to focus on the future.

I fear not finding a partner and being a mum/not having a family. I fear loneliness, but this is only an issue at weekends.

My debts will be clear by next Summer. I owe around £5,000.
So I guess I can change my financial situation albeit not as quickly as I'd like.

I can start dating again and see where that takes me. I can also start exploring meet up groups etc. The issue is the depression (and some anxiety issues). It is that which is stopping me taking the first step I think because it makes me withdraw from others. Not what I need I know. I will discuss this with my GP on Monday and try to make a few changes of my own.

What I would like is a good counsellor.

Mrshaworth2b

If you find it hard to really tell your gp how you are feeling then when you feel your worse, or there abouts, write it all down and hand it to the gp. Tell the gp that you want to say how you really feel at your worse rather than pluck up the courage to go and then down play it because you don't want it too sound so bad.

Have to say my Dr was really good and offered me counselling or meds, I was sure that it was just my circumstance at the time and wanted counselling not drugging up like previous. Actually getting it all out the Dr and crying in front of him (not intentionally) really helped and I never felt that low again, it was like a weight was lifted from my shoulders just being told it was normal. I had the 6 sessions with the counsellor and didn't find that any of it helped. Because she constantly read off a sheet, I could have done that. Never once did I speak about my issues for being there.

FBaby

It is that which is stopping me taking the first step I think because it makes me withdraw from others

It is a vicious cycle. You withdraw because you feel low, you feel low because you withdraw. Just remember not to give yourself too much of a hard time, you've been through a lot and it will take time to feel yourself again. If you saw me and my OH, you would think we are the most contented and confident people on earth, but if you'd met us before we met, you would have seen two very different people. We made the best of our lives, but ultimately, we were full of doubts that we would find love and happiness again.