Depression due to circumstances

Gaia2014

I wonder if anybody can relate. Feeling quite alone at the moment. I'll try to be a brief as possible...
The last 2 years have been a roller coaster - failed IVF, relationship breakdown, and ever dwindling social circle (mainly of my own doing). In the midst of all this I"ve been trying to clear all my debts by 2016 and although there is a light at the end of the tunnel I feel defeated (not suicidal) just lonely and scared about the future. I'd love a family, but that's not going to happen whilst I feel like this...

On the face of it I have a good job and I'm good at the job. I'm almost a different person to the extent that I appear confident, calm and grounded (not how I feel, so I must be good at acting :rotfl:)... I used to be this way in my personal life aswell. I don't know where I've gone...

So, I've been thinking about going to the GP to discuss all this, but am worried I"m just going to be handed some pills (would prefer counselling, but it's hard to come by on the NHS). I'm a great believer in the benefit of talking therapies (with the right therapist) as I work in a similar field. But, private counselling is too expensive at the moment due to debts.

I don't know what to do for the best. I do know that if I don't do something realising my dream of settling down with someone new might be harder to come by or too late. I can't let that happen...

Indie_Kid

You can refuse medication if you want. Not all GPs will hand out medication. I've seen one who hasn't.

I hope all goes well for you.

hubblebubble99

Hi


I just wanted to say I was in a similar situation to yours last year. This year has been better, though I do have off days. Concentrate on getting back to being happier within yourself, the relationships and family will happen when the time is right.


Speak to your doctor, sometimes you just want someone to listen and don't necessarily need medication xx

Gaia2014

Thanks Indie Kid. I'm thinking of taking a week off work soon. I will probably make a GP appointment then and discuss my depression. I always feel a bit foolish when I get there though and play down my symptoms (partly because I'm worried about it going on my medical record in case it affects things e.g. insurance, adoption) in the future. My depression is related to my circumstances and I'm certain if my circumstances changed over night i'd be a different person. It's the loneliness that is the hardest and a sense of not belonging to any group (e.g. motherhood, couple etc)... i.e the things I want myself... I'm sure things will get better in time. Just feeling it at the moment.

tomtontom

It may be possible to self refer for counselling, search for NHS counselling and the name of your area to see what provision is available.

Indie_Kid

There are, I think, some online things like mood gym that may help. I've never tried them, so can't comment on them.

scooby088

In our area there is a self refer system ask your gp if they do healthy minds in your area.

Gaia2014

Your're right. I did have some counselling earlier this year which helped. But, unfortunately that was limited to 6 sessions. I'm also in my 40's now, so the pressure is on to achieve the aforementioned family etc.. (not impossible, just harder)....Thanks for your reply.

Gaia2014

hubblebubble99 wrote: »

Hi


I just wanted to say I was in a similar situation to yours last year. This year has been better, though I do have off days. Concentrate on getting back to being happier within yourself, the relationships and family will happen when the time is right.


Speak to your doctor, sometimes you just want someone to listen and don't necessarily need medication xx

Your're right. I did have some counselling earlier this year which helped. But, unfortunately that was limited to 6 sessions. I'm also in my 40's now, so the pressure is on to achieve the aforementioned family etc.. (not impossible, just harder)....Thanks for your reply.

PeacefulWaters

Some bigger employers offer free counselling via a third party. Find out if yours does.

Remove caffeine from your diet. Reduce sugar intake and avoid rubbishy food (cakes, biscuits, crisps). Increase fruit and veg intake. Exercise too. Even if it's just 20 minutes a day walking round the block or something.

Well done on getting close to debt free. That's a massive achievement.

Gaia2014

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

Some bigger employers offer free counselling via a third party. Find out if yours does.

Remove caffeine from your diet. Reduce sugar intake and avoid rubbishy food (cakes, biscuits, crisps). Increase fruit and veg intake. Exercise too. Even if it's just 20 minutes a day walking round the block or something.

Well done on getting close to debt free. That's a massive achievement.

Thanks Peaceful Waters. Yes my employer does offer free counselling to employees, which I've taken advantage of already. You are offered 6 sessions, which is fair enough if it's free.

Caffeine might be a tricky one But, will work on giving up the comfort food. I get quite a lot of exercise thought. I don't have a car so I walk everywhere.