book to help 5 year old deal with loss of loved one

LilElvis

My mother in law has terminal cancer and I'm looking for book suggestions to help explain illness and death to her 5 year old granddaughter, our daughter. I'm thinking a picture book with simple explanations would be best at her age.

Any suggestions will be gratefully received!

belisha-beacon

Hi lilElvis, sorry to hear about your sad circumstances.

Winston's Wish is an amazing child bereavement charity that has a suggested reading list for kids dealing with bereavment: http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Suggested_reading_list_Sept13.pdf

They deal with helping children through bereavement or terminal illness of a parent or sibling, but they do also have lots of useful advice on how to support a child facing the death of a loved one - how to talk about death and so on.

The full website is: http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/ and there is information about supporting children on this page: http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/supporting-a-bereaved-child/

pandora205

Badger's Parting Gifts is a very sensitive picture story book for children that covers the loss of a loved one. I often recommend it to schools.

jackyann

So sorry you are going through this, and one of the best things fro your LO is that you are dealing with it and not pretending.

The nursing team involved with your m-i-l will offer support and help for you and LO as well.

I too like Badger's Parting Gifts. I have also known a child very comforted by The House at Pooh Corner - then very end when Christopher Robin is going away & can't explain himself.

But I often find "wordless" books very useful with young children as they can take time about them The 2 I recommend are also short films: the wonderful and well known "Snowman" and John Burningham's Grandpa.

My thoughts are with you.

lucywillow

Another vote for Badgers parting gifts.
My daughter was 5 when my mum passed away. My cousin gave her this book at the funeral. It's a lovely book which helped my daughter and even myself.
Sorry you're in this situation.

Poppy9

Such a sad time but I think rather than a book spend time talking to them about it.


Children are quite accepting but you may find you tell her something and she is quiet and says she understands but then days later asks questions. Just try to answer honestly but with kindness.


When my sister was taken ill with a brain tumour my DD asked if she would get better. It broke my heart to say "I don't think so and I don't think we can keep her for very long". She asked how long and I said we would be lucky to have her in a year's time. Sadly it was just weeks later she passed.


Over the coming years always talk about them, share funny, happy memories but don't make them into a saint.

LilElvis

belisha-beacon wrote: »

Hi lilElvis, sorry to hear about your sad circumstances.

Winston's Wish is an amazing child bereavement charity that has a suggested reading list for kids dealing with bereavment: http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Suggested_reading_list_Sept13.pdf

They deal with helping children through bereavement or terminal illness of a parent or sibling, but they do also have lots of useful advice on how to support a child facing the death of a loved one - how to talk about death and so on.

The full website is: http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/ and there is information about supporting children on this page: http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/supporting-a-bereaved-child/

Thank you for the link - I will definitely have a look at their resources.

LilElvis

Thanks for all the suggestions re Badgers Parting Gifts - Amazon will be delivering it tomorrow, along with a couple of others that popped up when I searched for it.

I knew I would get some great help, and I haven't been disappointed.

Thanks to all for both your help and kind words - it really is appreciated.

LilElvis

Poppy9 wrote: »

Such a sad time but I think rather than a book spend time talking to them about it.


Children are quite accepting but you may find you tell her something and she is quiet and says she understands but then days later asks questions. Just try to answer honestly but with kindness.


When my sister was taken ill with a brain tumour my DD asked if she would get better. It broke my heart to say "I don't think so and I don't think we can keep her for very long". She asked how long and I said we would be lucky to have her in a year's time. Sadly it was just weeks later she passed.


Over the coming years always talk about them, share funny, happy memories but don't make them into a saint.

I'm sorry that your family have had to go through this, especially as your sister must have been so young.

I wanted some book suggestions not just to read to her, but also to get some help for me in terms of the appropriate language and concepts to use IYSWIM.

I've been using a mixture of reading and talking to her since babyhood anyway to help explain her origins (IVF with the help of an amazing egg donor), so it is a style of discussion she is familiar with.

She already knows that she was one of twins, but that one was too poorly to come and live with us. I was gobsmacked a year ago when she started to tell me about her sister Rosie (she chose the name) and how she is in the sky in an aeroplane, watching us. Heaven knows how she thought that up as a 4 year old, but it has come completely from her. Hopefully it will mean that the concept of illness and loss will not be too difficult for her to grasp.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, it's very useful advice.

Poppy9

LilElvis wrote: »

I wanted some book suggestions not just to read to her, but also to get some help for me in terms of the appropriate language and concepts to use IYSWIM.

I've been using a mixture of reading and talking to her since babyhood anyway to help explain her origins (IVF with the help of an amazing egg donor), so it is a style of discussion she is familiar with.

She already knows that she was one of twins, but that one was too poorly to come and live with us. I was gobsmacked a year ago when she started to tell me about her sister Rosie (she chose the name) and how she is in the sky in an aeroplane, watching us. Heaven knows how she thought that up as a 4 year old, but it has come completely from her. Hopefully it will mean that the concept of illness and loss will not be too difficult for her to grasp..

Children are amazingly resilient and a huge source of comfort when some one is ill or dies. They just come out and say what they are thinking and are so much more honest than adults in their thoughts/fears.


Adults saying the right thing though can be so off but funny at the same time. When my MIL died my BIL said to my OH - "we are all orphans now!!" :rotfl: I was crying laughing in side.

LilElvis

Poppy9 wrote: »

Children are amazingly resilient and a huge source of comfort when some one is ill or dies. They just come out and say what they are thinking and are so much more honest than adults in their thoughts/fears.


Adults saying the right thing though can be so off but funny at the same time. When my MIL died my BIL said to my OH - "we are all orphans now!!" :rotfl: I was crying laughing in side.

Very true about how children react. I'm far more worried about my husband as he's already lost his Dad and sister to cancer and is currently trying to pretend it's not happening again.

We will get through it, I know, but it's very daunting right now.

Thanks for the kind words and support, and I'm sure there will be lots of posts from me over the coming months as I try to sort out all the practical stuff.