Offered friend's job

susieq87

I have been in my position for just over 5 months and completed my probationary period after 3 months. A few days ago my manger, another dept manager and the HR manager called me in for a meeting. In this meeting they offered me a role that has a lot of growth opportunities so I accepted.

I am struggling with this because my friend who currently works in the role has no idea that I have been offered this role and she is going to get fired next week. We started at the same time but her probationary period got extended to 6 months and it seems like she has failed it.

Part of me feels like I am betraying her as I would have preferred for them to offer me this position AFTER they had let her go because I feel bad being all chummy with her when I know this. I am very nervous as to what is going to happen when she finds out I have been offered her job.

I don't know what to do...:(

Stevie_Palimo

Friend from work or employment that may last a long time and have scope for moving up the ladder, Seems a no brainer to me that you should keep quiet and allow them to tell her she is not having the role being offered to you.


If she the questions you after the fact then you can go one of two ways either be straight and say what happened or sugar coat it and make out you were told the same day she was fired.

AJ1982

Keep very quiet until she is let go, then after she is let go, you are offered the job.

HappyMJ

susieq87 wrote: »

I have been in my position for just over 5 months and completed my probationary period after 3 months. A few days ago my manger, another dept manager and the HR manager called me in for a meeting. In this meeting they offered me a role that has a lot of growth opportunities so I accepted.

I am struggling with this because my friend who currently works in the role has no idea that I have been offered this role and she is going to get fired next week. We started at the same time but her probationary period got extended to 6 months and it seems like she has failed it.

Part of me feels like I am betraying her as I would have preferred for them to offer me this position AFTER they had let her go because I feel bad being all chummy with her when I know this. I am very nervous as to what is going to happen when she finds out I have been offered her job.

I don't know what to do...:(

She'll feel like you've stabbed her in the back. You'll most probably lose her as a friend if you don't tell her anything. You could refuse to take the position and keep her as a friend but she'll be sacked in any case so that doesn't really matter. I'd talk to her.

London50

It is not your fault that your friend is going to be let go by the company. Everyone these days applies for jobs and there are always casualties in the end, this time it was not you so be thankful that the company believes you were the right person.
This is a fact of life,there are winners and losers and if it had been the other way round I think you friend would be feeling {I hope} just the way you do now so just except it and carry on doing the job you got through your own merit. The other person will find something else in time.
Congratulations on being able to prove your worth and I hope you have many happy years doing the job :0)

CharlotteBarnes

I sympathise with your situation, it can't be pleasant for you. However, in the end it is not your responsibility to sort this out. Your employers really shouldn't have put you in this position to begin with.

If you tell her before they do, you could jeopardise your job offer so unfortunately your only option is to keep quiet until they speak to her. If she really if your friend, she'll understand your situation and that your hands were tied. She'll probably be upset but give her time and she might come round.

Good luck with it all and congrats on the new job!

[Deleted User]

Could you be fired yourself for refusal to take the job, so you have no choice (just keep telling yourself something like this and it will be alright)

The friend doesn't need to know you'll have the job unless you are planning to plaster it on bookface or the company really is that unprofessional to be telling her. Ewgh.

Voyager2002

It is not your fault, and there is nothing at all that you can do to help her.

If she is really your friend and wants the best for you, what would she ask you to do? She might appreciate a warning that she should be looking for another job, but giving her that warning might have serious consequences for you.

Double_V

Not your fault.
Just wait til she is let go. And then you have the job.
Is she asks you afterwards, you can say they offered it you. Simple.

quidsy

When you say friend, do you mean FRIEND you knew before & or socialize/ confide in, out of work or work acquaintance that you have become friendly with AT work?


If the former then I would tell her after that they offered you a job. If the latter, stay quiet, this is the nature of work, people get let go, it isn't your responsibility to feel guilt over it, it was not of your making.

susieq87

appreciate all the replies.

the friend in question can get quite erratic and has been known to speak her mind. I am a bit worried that she will feel like i stabbed her behind her back and tell everyone this when obviously this is not the case.

i am hoping that when she goes into the meeting next week they do not tell her that they have offered me the job because it will really put me in a hard place