Am I too old to change my name?

chelseablue

A bit of background first


My Mum got married quite young (21) and was divorced about 3 years later.
After she divorced she never went back to her maiden name and still to this day uses her married surname.


The man she was married to is not my father


She met my biological father after her divorce and had me, but he took off before I was born, so I have my Mums surname.


When I was about 3 she met the man I call Dad, and they had my younger brother. They have been together about 28 years but have never married.


So my brother has my Dad's surname and I have my Mums.


It's always been in the back of my mind that I walk round with a surname that technically has nothing to do with me (apart from being my Mum's name)


It comes from a man that is nothing to do with me, just some bloke my Mum was married to decades ago.


So I would really like to change my surname to that of my Dad and brother


Question is would you change your name in those circumstances? And at the age of 32 is there any point??

HHarry

If it makes you feel betterthen do it. My wife changed her name at 34 solely becasuse she didn't want to have her ex-husbands name on our marriage paperwork.

My step-daughter changed her name when she was 11, to be double barrelled.

highjewelgreen

If it is on your mind then definitely do it. It's what you want and will make you happy so go for it

bouicca21

A divorced friend of mine was around 40 when she changed hers. She waited until her youngest was 18 and they all changed their names together.

LilElvis

... the next question will be to ask what you intend doing about your son's surname?

chelseablue

LilElvis wrote: »

... the next question will be to ask what you intend doing about your son's surname?

My son has his Dad's surname (we are together)

Person_one

If you want to change it, there's nothing stopping you, feel free and don't be conned into paying anybody to do it for you!

However, your name has been yours since the day you were born, it has as much 'to do with you' as any other name you could choose, if not more. Women can 'own' their own surname, it doesn't have to be an indicator of a relationship with a man, whether that's father, stepfather, husband or any other!

fairy_lights

Person_one wrote: »

However, your name has been yours since the day you were born, it has as much 'to do with you' as any other name you could choose, if not more. Women can 'own' their own surname, it doesn't have to be an indicator of a relationship with a man, whether that's father, stepfather, husband or any other!

Thank you for saying this, I was going to write something similar but you've put it much better than I could
OP, of course it's up to you to choose whatever name you want, but please don't think that your current name has nothing to do with you just because it hasn't been passed down biologically to you.
I don't think you're too old to change it at all, after all lots of people get married/divorced later in life and change their names.

TBagpuss

You can call yourself what you want, and can do it at whatever age you want. One of my aunts changed her name after she got divorced, in her mid 50s. She decided not to go back to her maiden name, but instead picked a surname she liked, (it was actually the maiden name or her great grandmother, so there was a family link)

but as Person_One says, if you change, do it because you want to be known by a different name - the one you have is your name, not your ex-step-dad's.

maman

TBagpuss wrote: »

You can call yourself what you want, and can do it at whatever age you want.

There is just the proviso that you need to inform banks etc as you can't change your name in order to defraud. But I'm sure you weren't planning to do that anyway!;)


I've been married to my DH for 35 years but I still use the name of my ex-husband. It's become my professional name and what all my colleagues and clients know me as so, as other posters have said, it's become part of me. I certainly don't associate it with that a*se that I married briefly as a child bride!:rotfl:

dancingfairy

There's 2 different types of changing your name. One is simply to say to people I want to be called x,y,z from now on. This *might* cause trouble if you wanted to use it officially, say on bank documents or passports (I'm not sure how they cope with this) but with your friends/acquaintences there would be no problem doing this.
The other is to officially/legally change you name. I believe this needs a deed poll to do? I imagine you'd just go to the registry office (might need to book an appointment?), fill in a form and possibly pay them some money? and voila.
df