Not Settling Into New House

moneyistooshorttomention

Well - if it would make you happy and your feeling is that your Dad would want you to be happy = then I think that clinches it then.

Done deal - you're (mentally already) on the move...

You weren't to know you would have this chance were you? You made your decision to buy this place based on how things were then. Things have now changed - so you can change your mind. A good parent will want the best for their child/adult child and so go with it..

I think you'd regret it if you didn't take this chance personally.

kaflinkle

This is an interesting thread as I bet there's more of us than we think, and many people probably won't admit they've made a mistake worth hundreds of thousands.

I've just moved into a house and the fact that it took 8 months in a 3 person chain perhaps was a warning.

I'm not settling in at all and I'm hoping that when the new carpet and the place is decorated, things'll be different.

The fact is that the place is filthy and not maintained. The house is only 10 years old and even one that young needs occasional maintenance from time to time. I also don't think it's been cleaned in that time at all, looking at the carpets makes me want to puke, the en-suite shower is uncleanable (I've tried with a steamer, industrial grade de-greasers and the grime just isn't shifting). I'm having to replace the kitchen as even after cleaning that solid for 6 days (including professionals to clean the cooker/hob who stated that they've never seen a non-commercial oven/hob so dirty), I still don't feel it's clean. I could go on but it'll put people off their breakfast. When viewing the place, one doesn't look at the shower to see how clean it is.

It's tainted the whole thing to be honest. There's also the cost issue as I hadn't budgeted for a new kitchen or a new en-suite either.

On the plus side, the dogs love the garden!

Snuggles

Landofwood wrote: »

I actually think "feeling settled" has more to do with your neighbours than the house. How do you get on with them? Have you met them yet?

When we moved in our neighbours brought over cards, flowers and invited us over for dinner/drinks. I don't think the size or layout of the house would have mattered, we already feel part of the community.

Am I the only one who would hate this?! Our current next door neighbours are constantly inviting us over, or asking us to have a bbq with them. It's got to the point where we daren't have a bbq of our own as they will expect to be invited! They are just not people we would ever want to socialise with, but they don't take the hint, despite us politely declining every offer. It's really difficult to try to get the message across without causing any friction or offence and it makes us feel quite uncomfortable.

It's great to have nice, friendly neighbours who will say hello etc, and take parcels in for each other, but I don't necessarily want to socialise with people just because we happen to be neighbours. So personally, new neighbours inviting us round for dinner would be the last thing I wanted in a new home!

moneyistooshorttomention

kaflinkle wrote: »

This is an interesting thread as I bet there's more of us than we think, and many people probably won't admit they've made a mistake worth hundreds of thousands.

I've just moved into a house and the fact that it took 8 months in a 3 person chain perhaps was a warning.

I'm not settling in at all and I'm hoping that when the new carpet and the place is decorated, things'll be different.

The fact is that the place is filthy and not maintained. The house is only 10 years old and even one that young needs occasional maintenance from time to time. I also don't think it's been cleaned in that time at all, looking at the carpets makes me want to puke, the en-suite shower is uncleanable (I've tried with a steamer, industrial grade de-greasers and the grime just isn't shifting). I'm having to replace the kitchen as even after cleaning that solid for 6 days (including professionals to clean the cooker/hob who stated that they've never seen a non-commercial oven/hob so dirty), I still don't feel it's clean. I could go on but it'll put people off their breakfast. When viewing the place, one doesn't look at the shower to see how clean it is.

It's tainted the whole thing to be honest. There's also the cost issue as I hadn't budgeted for a new kitchen or a new en-suite either.

On the plus side, the dogs love the garden!

That does sound filthy!

Could you look into getting a firm in that specialises in really heavy-duty type cleaning for a one-off clean?

Cleanliness is something that is resolvable - so maybe, once that's done that will help. Right pain to have to have a new kitchen and en-suite on such a recently-built house too - and that is going to "hang in the air" until its done .....but, eventually, that will also be sorted out.

Stuff that is to do with the area the house is in is a lot more difficult and I chose between two different places and wonder whether I should have chosen the nearby one (it was a little clue when a pushier EA here was busily assuring me that "other area is obviously YOUR area" and another clue being that many of the houses in the other place are decorated in "my style" - which is only the case with very few in the place I am in). I get round that one by spending quite a bit of My Life in the other place and I shall be doing some work on my house of the "cosmetic" variety to get it even more into "my style" (I think it will help to even do a little thing like changing a more "neutral (ie would do in any area)" pair of curtains to another pair I have that are more contemporary style and expensive-looking and "my area style" and that's on todays agenda).

I've added to my plans for the garden (when I have the money) things that will specifically make it look more contemporary/expensive/"my area" style deliberately to help myself feel more at home.

So = even little things can maybe make it feel more "homely"/your norm.

So maybe think "What were the positives amongst things I was used to?" and duplicate in your new home.

Davesnave

Snuggles wrote: »

Am I the only one who would hate this?!..........new neighbours inviting us round for dinner would be the last thing I wanted in a new home!

In my limited experience, people who are over-generous towards newcomers, always have an agenda of some kind.

moneyistooshorttomention

Davesnave wrote: »

In my limited experience, people who are over-generous towards newcomers, always have an agenda of some kind.

Ditto - in my limited experience. THE worst combination is an invite round, followed by "long questioning type" chat - at the end of which you feel thoroughly checked-out, you've been told how "important" the person is (in their opinion), but you don't feel like you have learnt anything "real" about them at all/had any sort of "meeting of minds" at all.

Boy will there ever be an "agenda" if you get that sort of "welcome"....and it wont be one that invites you to consider yourself an equal to them (more one where you have to go away yourself and remind yourself that you are an equal to them). They have decided what they want ...and you are to obey:rotfl::rotfl:. The "checking out" is to see if you are likely to go along with that:rotfl:. All you really need on top of a welcome like that is a comment that leaves you thinking "They aren't really trying to blackmail me, are they? Don't be daft...you must be imagining it". If you do get a comment like that - you aren't daft/you aren't imagining it....as you realise when you turn out not to be "compliant" and they do put the threat into action.

Beancounter

I spoke to the solicitor who dealt with the conveyancing of my house today and she said that the 6 month rule with lenders would not be a problem as long as we had a valid reason for moving such as an inheritance meaning we can upsize.

We would also have full traceability of our funds so we shouldf be ok.

Even if the 6 month thing were to come into play even if we went on the market in a few weeks then any sale would be more than likely after the 6 month period had elapsed anyway.

chopper78

kaflinkle wrote: »

This is an interesting thread as I bet there's more of us than we think, and many people probably won't admit they've made a mistake worth hundreds of thousands.

You sound like you're having the experience we're about to have. We should (hopefully) exchange this week, the house we are buying is a little over 20 years old, but the kitchen it a grotty 20 year old kitchen, the bathroom is a grotty 20 year old bathroom, etc.

However, we are going in with our eyes wide open on this and hopefully in the weeks and months after completion, it will be our renovated house kitted out to our specification rather than what someone else was happy to live in. I'm not even going to risk the existing oven, £170 today has secured a shiny new oven to install when we get there.

It'll be a tense few months whilst we get there, but first we have to get past exchange of contracts.

red_imps_2003

It's interesting to see the different viewpoints on offer, and there is really no 'right' answer. I would be tempted to give it a while. Somebody above mentioned buyer's remorse and I agree. My wife and I have felt this in both the houses we have purchased so far and yet on both occasions we were sad to leave them when we needed to move on a few years later.

Both were early 20th Century terraced buildings with spacious accommodation and large[ish] plots. We are about to move into a mid-century semi which is very noticeably more...compact, and are worried about how we will adjust; especially as we intend for it to do us for at least the next 20 years. If finances allow we hope to extend in a few years' time, but it could be that we simply adjust to the new dimensions. The difference for us, though, is that there are some positives to focus on (especially the economics).

Moving home isn't cheap. I wish there could be an easy answer for you but either way is a risk. You could regret staying put because it doesn't feel right whatever you do to it, or you could regret spending all the extra money on moving and not feeling much better about the next place. There are some factors you can't control, such as the neighbours.

Good luck in your decision. I wish you the very best.

Beancounter

As luck might have it a house style we like has come on the market, went to view it last night and love it. The people are looking for a long entry date too as they are buying a newbuild in January which works for us too.

Only thing holding me back from making an offer is the fact it would make a substantial hole in the inheritance, I know we should use it to make ourselves happy but can't get my head around spending another 70K plus fees.

Arrrggh!!!!