Apologise to Creditors, Would You?

Bea1_2

Hello!
I'm new to all this and will be going down the BR route very soon.

My two main creditors are my bank (I'm self employed) and my mortgage company. Pretty large sums involved and I just feel awful about it as it so goes against the grain. I don't owe anyone else money, not even suppliers. It's been the hardest decision I've ever had to make, especially as I'm 59 and intended to go on working forever as I so loved my work...

Anyway, I would like to call up my Regional Bank manager and the Mortgage company and apologise to them - but not before I go BR... do you think I'm mad to do this?

Part of me feels they'll just brush it aside and chalk it up as just another failed business and make me feel even worse. I am really hoping the sale of the house (no luck with that myself) will cover the debts, if handled properly by the Receiver.

NekoZombie

Yes, I think you're mad. Nice thought and all, but I doubt they'd even care. Try to ignore your feelings of guilt; we've all been there.

rog2

Tend to agree with NZ here. After all, your creditors could have helped you avoid bankruptcy if they had chosen so to do.

Bea1_2

Yes, I think you're both probably right

I'm just being too polite and sentimental I suppose.

sarah0404

I feel bad. Really bad! I think it sounds terrible that I've run up £1,000s in debt and now I'm just walking away from it. Also the bank I owe most of the money to is my childhood bank. I opened my 1st bank account there when I was about 7. The staff have always been nice and helpful etc. But I suppose if they were really interested in me they'd not have lent me huge sums of money I couldn't pay back. Every time I went in there with financial problems I came out with a new and more expensive loan.

rog2

sarah0404 wrote: »

I feel bad. Really bad! I think it sounds terrible that I've run up £1,000s in debt and now I'm just walking away from it. Also the bank I owe most of the money to is my childhood bank. I opened my 1st bank account there when I was about 7. The staff have always been nice and helpful etc. But I suppose if they were really interested in me they'd not have lent me huge sums of money I couldn't pay back. Every time I went in there with financial problems I came out with a new and more expensive loan.

Don't, whatever you do, worry about the Banks. They have changed, beyond all imagination, from what they were when you were 7.
You are, in their eyes, no longer a person but, simply, a commodity that needs to be fine tuned in order to give them the highest yield for the lowest input. Your post confirms this.
Do you think that they are, in the least bit, concerned about you?

scaredwitless32

When my OH asked the bank for help when he was made redundant, ( he wanted time to find a new job) he asked if his loan payment could be missed for just the one payment, 'Yes Mr Blahblah, that will be ok, you can have a payment 'holiday', thankyou for telling us about your situation', couple of weeks later he gets a letter telling him that £179 will be added at the end of the loan, for the privilage of the payment holiday!!!!!!!!
Few days after that he gets offered a 'top-up' loan..........

Do not feel guilty at all, they could do alot to help people in difficult situations but they just DONT WANT TO KNOW!! Right bunch of *$!!**^ if you ask me

Sorry

wherediditallgo

If one of my creditors was a friend or relative, then yes I would take the time to explain my situation to them & apologise for not being able to pay them back. But banks, credit card or loan companies etc? No way. I can't begin to count how many times I asked them to freeze the interest even temporarily, but they wouldn't. They also wouldn't accept reduced payments, wouldn't reply to letters or return telephone calls. If any apology is owed, it's from them to me, for all the sleepless nights & worry they put me through, for the hours I spent trying to find the money to make their monthly payments which included penalty charges we now know weren't lawful & for the many months I must have spent dreading phone calls, letters through the post etc.

I stopped feeling bad about my debts the moment I came out of court with my BR order in my hands. No, I wasn't deliriously happy as I knew I still my OR interview to come plus weeks of juggling my finances until everything was sorted out. But I didn't feel bad about my debts from that point on, because my creditors had pushed me into a corner from which my only escape was BR. If they ever expect an apology from me, I suggest they get themselves a comfy chair & a good selection of books, because they've got a very long wait ahead of them.

Bea & Sarah, no matter how polite & friendly they seem to you on the phone or even in person, you are pretty much just a number to them. I was with a bank for well over 20 years, but I don't think they took 20 minutes to levy £150 of overdraft charges on me in a month (3 months running :mad:), all because my request for the additional overdraft was approved verbally but not in writing, & was subsequently refused but they didn't inform me. Don't send an apology to them - at best, they'll laugh at it for a few seconds before binning it. At worst, they'll pass it round for more of them to laugh at before it ends up in the bin. If you don't get an IPA, you literally owe them nothing.

Broken_hearted

Write a nice long letter explaining why you have come to this decision and say how guilty/upset/sorry you feel. Get all the emotion out. Then bin it. No I'm not joking or being sacastic. If you feel the need to express yourself do it just don't bother doing it in person as they will just try to hound you more.

sarah0404

Don't worry, I wasn't going to say sorry to them. I just feel a bit guilty about it. And know the bank doesn't really care about me. Just their profits. Actually several times when I tried to re-arrange my loans it's come back Little Britain style "Computer says no...." Then the bank has twisted the system so it would approve me. Computer obviously said no for a reason. I'd just moved to a new address and got declined for the loan. So the bank put my address as my parents address (where I'd just moved from) and I was accepted.

I always assumed they knew what they were talking about and giving me good financial advice. But no. They were just trying to sell me things.

worried123

If the sale of your house will cover your debts - do you really need to file for bankruptcy - just a thought that crossed my mind.

I do know how you feel though about feeling bad towards creditors - it just shows that you are a very decent human being - however, the big banks etc are covered fort hings like this happening - please worry about yourself first and foremost and not them - If it makes you feel better about apologising then go ahead I say - and I do know how you feel.

Sorry to hear about your situation - and good luck and best wishes to you