CCJ, 12k in debt, controlling ex HELP!

MMCD93

I don't know where to begin, I feel like such a fool and a failure. Please bear with my long post as my financial matters are in such a mess I just don't know what to do.

I am a single mother with two young children on Income Support. I have no financial help whatsoever from my abusive ex. I was working full time in a decent paid job up until the breakup of our relationship, which allowed me to obtain so much credit.

I jointly own a property with my ex partner which has recently sold (STC) for £130,000. I have agreed to pay back the deposit (£11,000) which was given to us by his mother, upon sale of the property. This was my ex's only condition and without that money he said he will not agree and I will have to go down the reposession/bankruptcy route. I never said no to this in the first place.

This is where it gets complicated.

During my time with my lovely ex, I have accumulated debts of around £12,000. I ignored these debts as I entrusted all financial matters to my ex (stupid I know). He also encouraged me to take out loans, for example a car loan worth £6000 (I cannot drive) and promised he would pay it if we ever split up. Very foolish of me.

Needless to say, things did not end well and I was eventually able to get out of this controlling and abusive relationship. I then worked out my debts and sought advice through Citizens Advice.
She advised me a debt relief order would be the best option and to get rid of the house as soon as possible. I plan on moving to Scotland anyway so this wasn't much of a big deal to me. I am from Scotland and have lived here for the past 5 years but I don't have any support from ex financially, he and his family hate me, I can't get a job without help from my mum childcare wise and I don't really know anyone her etc. However, ex would like me to stay put to see the children. She also said something about challenging a lot of the debt as my ex forced my hand in a lot of it (him taking out payday loans in my name, using my account and making me take out all finance as he couldn't get any). Unfortunately, I am only eligible for legal aid due to domestic violence and my present situation means I am unable to pay for help to prove this and to be honest I don't want the hassle.

I have received a CCJ county court claim through the door this morning for car loan which is £5000 including court costs. I am obviously unable to pay this immediately. My main concern is they put a charge on the property and ex wont agree to sale as his mother won't get her money back. I've already been here 8 months waiting for him to sign the paperwork which he hasnt.

I offered the CCJ claimant £1 a month which they accepted through citizens advice a while ago, like the rest of the debtors. However, stupidly I buried my head in the sand and ignored it, just putting off setting it up until next week etc. I was dealing with the sale of the house, my ex, police, court date for domestic hearing etc. I know this isn't an excuse but I have been in a very dark place and was struggling to cope.

I realise its inevitable now, I will have a CCJ for the next 6 years and I will have to deal with the consequences.
I am just really worried about the house sale, I have been here 8 months now waiting for him to sign the paperwork so I can get away from him but he does a great job of delaying things.
I know I am going to have to declare I own a house on the county claim form but the fact is after the house is sold I will be left with about £2000. Surely, as I have other debts they can't just take the whole lot or can they, as they got their claim in first so to speak?

Does anyone have any experience of this or can anyone help me out with a bit of advice? I plan on speaking to my parents this evening (I don't want them bailing me out) as they are the only people I can really speak to. I was going to book another appointment with citizens advice but the debt advisor will probably think I am stupid for not doing as she said (rightly so).

Sorry for the extra long post, it's very difficult to try and get everything out on one page!

-taff

Just to clarify, you have sold the house? You said it's sold STC? What papers is he not singing?

And did you agree in writing to return the money for the deposit or verbally? Becaue if the latter, I would renege on it, and go for half the profits.

MMCD93

Hi -taff,

Sorry, yes he kept saying verbally and I have it in writing that he agreed to sell the house so long as his mother gets her money back. I ensured my solicitor would write back saying he would. He just keeps changing his mind all the time. His mother sent proof of money owed to my solicitor as she paid this to us through her bank, so can't legally dispute it.

We officially sold it to a couple at the end of June, I was told mistakenly by the conveyancer that he had returned the initial paperwork (contract with conveyancers, fixtures and fittings etc) along with his ID, but I found out yesterday they made a mistake and he hasn't done this at all.

BrassicWoman

if you move to Scotland now, rent somewhere up north, withdraw consent to pay mum £11k, and go bankrupt, then you will be clear in just a few years - maybe 1, maybe 2! Debtors who can prove they have given you a loan, not a gift, would get first dibs on your half of sale proceeds.

Are you sure the mortgage company know MILs money was a loan? It'd be usual for someone somewhere to sign to say (if t was a deposit) that it was a strings free gift... or has he committed mortgage fraud by lying?

Unless you work in eg financial services, I'd say BR was a viable option and lets you walk away from his mind games. Have an ask on the bankruptcy board... you may find it quite liberating.

andyfromotley

Two things, both of which are really difficult,

1. Try and remove your finances emotionally from all of the other stuff that is going on. (very difficult i know having gone through a difficult divorce!) Try to view it dispassionately as a problem that needs solving.
2. I think you need legal advice regarding the finances. I know that money is super tight, but try to find a solicitor and the money to pay them. Explain from the off that you are utterly skint and they can't rack up huge bill, you may find one to act in an advice only capacity.

Try contacting Womens aid, they have really good contacts.
You do have some bargaining power here. You have found yourself in the not uncommon place where you are trying to sort it out and he is saying 'i don't care what happens'. This can lead to you jumping through all sorts of hoops. If you adopt (and mean) an equally belligerent 'i don't care' attitude then things become much more even. (and the situation you are trying to avoid, bankruptcy etc may well be coming your way despite your best efforts.

Its a horrid situation. But please bear in mind that this will pass, it won't last forever.

MMCD93

Thank you for all your help. I have calmed down a bit after talking things through with my mother and solicitor and think I have found a way forward.
I have agreed to all of my ex partners terms now, so he gets everything he wanted and I am being much MORE than fair so there is no reason to delay.

Fingers crossed.