DIVORCE: Problems from having moved out of the jointly owned family home?

BenjaG

As the fights became unbearable, I moved out of the jointly owned family home 15 months ago, after twenty stormy years of marriage. I am temporarily in a relative’s vacant flat in Sweden, rent free. Our youngest is now starting university, time for me to progress the divorce.


I read that "legal advice is not to move from the marital home because it can in some circumstances affect a potential financial claim, for example if one spouse moves to say a rented flat, agrees a lease and lives there, it could be said that their housing needs are met".


My impression is that my wife is trying to gain an advantage from me living outside the home, as she requested to stay in the family home for three more years until the children finish uni. I am still paying the mortgage, utilities etc, but need her to contribute. The only cost the wife offered to cover was the Council Tax, which I fear she does in order to pay in her name only.


As I consider my stay in Sweden to be temporary, the family home is still my registered address for banks, taxes etc. I need to return to the city where my business is registered and my children grew up.


How do I avoid falling into the trap of seeing my "housing needs met"?

DKLS

For starters get a solicitor, I would heartily recommend Marion Stowe. Not cheap but very, very effective.

gonzo127

to be honest i havent heard that what you have quoted is a major factor, as i am also going through this situation, my solicitor pointed out thats its not just my need, but also what she needs, and as i read it you children are over 18 and therefore 'adults' meaning her needs are just for her.

on the flip side, she would be expected to pay for everything for the house she is living in if she wanted to play that card as if you move into rented accommodation, you would have to pay for that.

i would say first things first is STOP paying for everything but the mortgage (and maybe buildings insurance) it is her responsibility to pay for the things she is using such as gas and electric, tv water etc, as you are not there you are not using it and so shouldn't pay.

FBaby

The most common standard position a judge is likely to take in a case of separation when there are children concerned and the person wanting to stay in the property is on a low income is that this is granted until the youngest child is 18 (or remarriage).

However, this is not black and white and she could make a case that your children still needs a settled home base. Do they go to a local Uni or are they away only back holidays? Do they rely on full grants, do they work, do you still provide some support to them directly?

I suppose if it went to court, it would come down to how much she can make a case that your children still needs the stability of the home and still need her to provide that stability. You would need to make a case that either your children don't need that home for stability, or that if they do, she doesn't. For instance, if it really needed to come to that, that you would buy a flat with the equity for your children to reside in.

The above is looking at the worse case scenario as again, the common position is that it is acceptable that a joint property should be sold hence the youngest child reach the age of 18.

swampduck

I can't see any problem with letting your wife stay in the marital home while your children are at Uni but it begs the question would they be living away? in halls? shared house? and would there actually be a need for her to have the house if they are only home in the holidays?
If you were to return home - you have as much right to live in the joint home as she does (assuming the property is jointly owned) but if you were to live elsewhere you could ask her to pay towards your accommodation as you are paying towards hers!
You definitely need to get some legal advice and your wife needs to find a job to start paying her way and stop assuming that you will pay for the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed (unless of course you happen to be millionaire!) It might sound flippant on my part but once solicitors start getting involved - the stormy arguments of the past may be sea breezes compared to what may be coming next)

Swampy

thorsoak

You might get some information/advice from reading this thread by JackRS - it has just reached its conclusion after two years. Here it is:- https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4556575

bouicca21

I left the marital home (he wouldn't and I needed to preserve my sanity). Two problems arise from this. One is that the one who is left in the house has no incentive to sell, so things may get delayed. The other is that you may give your stbx and the court grounds to claim that your housing needs are met. If you are renting you have to establish that this is unsuitable for your circumstances (e.g. not enough room for the kids) and/or that the rent is not sustainable in the longer term.