Friend took an overdose

Northern78

I'm not really sure why I'm even posting here but I just found out one of my best friends took an overdose yesterday.

When I say it's not a shock it is but I always knew there was something troubling her. I've always told her I'm there for her and she can talk to me. I found out from someone else who isn't even that close.

She said she didn't even know what she was doing or who phoned the ambulance cos of the state she was in.

I just don't understand why she didn't talk to me about how she was feeling. What do I do now to help her? I've never been in this situation before. She's back home now, on her own even thought the hospital said she shouldn't be alone.

Babbawah

No one can ever stop a suicide.

You can however react to a plea for help.

Your friend is pleading for help & she is pleading in the only way she knows how.

The best thing you can do for her as a friend is to be there. If she needs you she will come to you.

Otherwise, leave everything to those who she chooses to help her.

Just try to be there if she needs you.

Savvy_Sue

One thing I've heard is that we often shy away from raising the subject of suicide with people we know are depressed / unwell / possibly suicidal. We worry that we'll plant thoughts which weren't there, or encourage them to get on with it, so we just don't mention it.

And in fact that's not true, there are better outcomes if friends and family acknowledge that suicidal thoughts may be present, and get them out in the open.

PeacefulWaters

The charity MIND could be an excellent source of guidance for you.

Visit their web site.

pendragon_arther

Babbawah wrote: »

No one can ever stop a suicide.

You can however react to a plea for help.

Your friend is pleading for help & she is pleading in the only way she knows how.

The best thing you can do for her as a friend is to be there. If she needs you she will come to you.

Otherwise, leave everything to those who she chooses to help her.

Just try to be there if she needs you.

Good advice. If someone wants to commit suicide they will. This sounds like a cry for help so do some research and see how you can help in this way. The Samaritans is also a good source.

3xPrism

After my sister attempted suicide, she underwent a full psychiatric evaluation by the mental health crisis team. You say the hospital said she shouldn't be alone, which in turn means someone has given assurances to the hospital that they are going to be on hand with your friend most of the time. If someone has lied saying they will be looking after her, and they aren't. The probability is, they have done that to stop your friend being detained under the mental health act.

Northern78

Thanks for the replies. She was texting me till late last night saying she felt better now that I knew about it. I'll have a look at MIND website and Samaritans etc. I'd like to know as much as I can in order to help her.

Like you say it sounds very much like a cry for help, hopefully now she can get the help she needs to get her through this.

beluga

you sound like a good friend, just be there for her. she may have had a full psych evaluation, but that doesn't always happen. Mind, Rethink or the Samaritans could be helpful, and encourage her to speak to her GP about counselling or other therapies that may help. You could see if there are any support groups locally.
If she's alone then try to be there for her, call, text or visit if you can. Let her talk about it, but don't push too hard. She's lucky to have someone who cares.

RuthnJasper

Northern78 wrote: »

Thanks for the replies. She was texting me till late last night saying she felt better now that I knew about it. I'll have a look at MIND website and Samaritans etc. I'd like to know as much as I can in order to help her.

Like you say it sounds very much like a cry for help, hopefully now she can get the help she needs to get her through this.

She is lucky to have a good friend like you. I cannot recommend MIND highly enough. This site is also helpful: http://www.depressionalliance.org/information/advice-family-and-friends

If she hasn't already, I would strongly recommend that your friend sees her GP, so that she can receive some proper medical help - you could offer to go with her if that would help.

I suffer from severe depression and, when I was at my worst ebb before receiving proper help and support I tried to take my own life several times. On one occasion I would certainly have succeeded, had it not been for Jasper (my late lamented Staffordshire Bull Terrier).

Your friend possibly didn't tell you because she didn't want to "worry/upset you", because at the time she didn't want anyone to stop her, or because she wasn't planning on doing anything but it was a spur-of-the moment act.

I hope she will be OK, and I am glad she knows that she can talk to you.

Best wishes. x

indsty

Don't feel you did anything wrong because she didn't confide in you. It is often more difficult for people to open up to those nearest to them for fear they might get a negative reaction (even though they wouldn't). Your friend is probably very relieved that you now know, and you just need to be respectful of her needs and wants. Take your cues from her - talk and discuss if she wants to, shut up and go to the cinema if that is what she prefers. Quick text every day if you can't meet up.

VfM4meplse

Northern78 wrote: »

I just don't understand why she didn't talk to me about how she was feeling.

Because those intent on suicide don't wish to be talked out of it. I'm not saying that she is now, but she may have been then. You can't take it personally.

indsty wrote: »

Quick text every day if you can't meet up.

Texting has a surprisingly powerful impact on mental health, as it shows the recipient that someone is thinking about them. A little kindness, and the chance to reconnect goes a very long way.