How much money shall I give?

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Weddings & Anniversaries
11 replies 2.4K views
SavingsophieSavingsophie Forumite
1 Post
edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Weddings & Anniversaries
I am going to a close friends wedding soon. They've requested money and I don't know how much to give. They've kindly invited my partner even though they've not met him. As a result, I'm paying for hotel (150 pound) and petrol. I am also going on holiday this month and I went to the hen do which cost about 200.

So, I'm really confused how much to give. I'm so grateful to be attending the wedding and know it'll be a lovely day. I suspect my partner wont chip in with the money i give - so I'm unsure how much to pay. Money has been tight these past few months although I'm going on holiday to Spain this month too!

What can I give to show I care? Can I do anything sentimental too?
Thanks :j


  • tanithtanith Forumite
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    I would give whatever you can afford comfortably, your friends will be happy you cared enough to share their day and wouldn't want you worrying about how much to give them.
    #6 of the SKI-ers Club :j

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  • hieveryonehieveryone Forumite
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    They may have requested money, but that doesn't mean you have to give it!

    There are plenty of gifts on sites like Etsy which look far more expensive than they really are, and lots of things can be personalised which would look even more special.

    Bought is to buy. Brought is to bring.
  • edited 24 July 2015 at 11:28AM
    firebird082firebird082 Forumite
    575 Posts
    edited 24 July 2015 at 11:28AM
    Being a bride next year, and thinking of requesting money, I would not expect anything from those who have paid out for hen do (did the cost you paid include paying for the bride?). I would go for something around the £20/30 mark if you can afford to do so, after all, they are paying for all your food etc. On the other hand, I doubt they'll notice if you don't!

    Edited to add: Sentimental - absolutely! It's always lovely to receive something well thought out and meaningful. Have you got any nice photos of them together to use for example?
  • LEJCLEJC Forumite
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    If you were to have bought them an item from a wedding list,how much would you have spent...translate that to cash and pop it in an envelope with a card wishing them every happiness for the future....
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  • FutureGirlFutureGirl Forumite
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    I'm asking people for money at my wedding instead of gifts purely because we've lived together for years and have everything, so would rather have spending money for the honeymoon.

    However, I'm not thinking people will put anymore than £10 in though. I wouldn't expect them to.
  • Topcat1982Topcat1982 Forumite
    391 Posts
    £30 is fine. Especially when you have already paid out so much.

    You can give it in vouchers if you don't feel comfortable giving cash.
  • 74jax74jax Forumite
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    I would give 20, with oh contributing 10.
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
  • minerva_windsongminerva_windsong Forumite
    3.8K Posts
    Short answer: whatever you can afford to and want to give. For us that's usually £20-30 (more for a close relative or a best friend), but don't feel bad if you can't give that much; a real friend would just be grateful that you'd come to the wedding and would see any gift as a bonus.

    Re: sentimental stuff - I know you said you were close but I'd gauge whether it's something they'd be receptive to first. If it is, then a photo of the two of them (with you, if you have one) in a nice frame would be lovely.
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  • edited 11 August 2015 at 4:55PM
    Lucy5781Lucy5781 Forumite
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    edited 11 August 2015 at 4:55PM
    I always gave £20 when I had ex-OH with me, after that I gave £10 as a single and they all knew my financial situation at the time. I'm now having all of them at my wedding, multiple babies included so I feel it balances out.

    I'd find any amount generous.

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  • I got married just over a week ago and told guests we didnt want any presents just them there to enjoy the day with us....most didnt listen. gifts ranged from £20 to £250 (totally gobsmacked) but just as happy with my brother buying us a drink cos thats all he could afford.
    At the end of the day, she wont mind if you cant afford to give her a huge amount, she will be happy you're there sharing her big day. £20 is more than enough, or buy a nice picture frame?
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