Free Pack of Tutti Frutti Condoms

joop123

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Imagine if all major retailers started making their own condoms and kept the same tag-line...

Sainsbury Condoms - making life taste better
Tesco Condoms - every little helps
Nike Condoms - Just do it.

Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life.
Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk.
KFC Condoms - Finger licking good.
Minstrels Condoms -melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
Safeway Condoms - Lightening the load.

Abbey National condoms - because life is complicated enough.
Coca Cola condoms - The real thing.
Ever Ready condoms - keep going and going.
Pringles condoms - once you pop, you cant stop

Burger King Condoms - Home of the whopper
Goodyear Condoms - for a longer ride go wide
FCUK condoms - no comment required.
Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's the pain.

Halfords condoms - we go the extra mile.
Royal Mail condoms - I saw this and thought of you.
Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very long
Renault condoms - size really does matter!

Ronseal condoms - does exactly what it says on the tin
Ronseal quick-drying condoms - its dry and waterproof in 30 minutes
Domestos condoms - gets right under the rim!!! (Please) [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Heineken condoms - reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach
Carlsberg condoms - probably the best condom in the world
AA Condoms - for the 4th emergency service
Pepperami condoms - it's a bit of an animal
Polo condoms - the condom with the hole!!! [/FONT]

chazculham

A man was in a long line at his local Tesco store.
As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register.
She asked, 'What size condoms?
The customer replied that he didn't know.
She asked him to drop his trousers. He did. She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom, 'One box of large condoms, Till 5.
The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of us, was up for a cheap thrill.
When he got up to the register, he told the checker that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some brought to the register for him. She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his trousers. He did. She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, 'One box of medium-sized condoms, Till 5.
A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female, so he thought this was his chance. When he got to the till he told the checker he needed some condoms.
She asked him what size and he said he didn't know. She asked him to drop his trousers and he did.
She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze then picked up the intercom and said....

'Mop and bucket, Till 5

brettcta

my girl doesn't like tutti fruity. thanks though

VIJAY_FROM_KENT

Marvo434 wrote: »

My 9 year old daughter comes out of a restaurant toilet:
"Mummy, what are condoms?"
Mum explains carefully what they are, knowing they have had some education at school. The restaurant is hanging on every word.
"OK Mummy, but why are they banana flavoured?"

My friend at work was asked something similar by her son, why are condoms flavoured. She replied brilliantly! She said that condoms are flavoured as sometimes people mistake them for chewing gum and if you do, they wont taste all rubbery!!!!!!! :rotfl: :rolleyes:

Computertec

Sorry to bring the thread back to life but,
I had tears of laughter when i read this from joop123
Imagine if all major retailers started making their own condoms and kept the same tag-line...

Sainsbury Condoms - making life taste better
Tesco Condoms - every little helps
Nike Condoms - Just do it.

Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life.
Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk.
KFC Condoms - Finger licking good.
Minstrels Condoms -melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
Safeway Condoms - Lightening the load.

Abbey National condoms - because life is complicated enough.
Coca Cola condoms - The real thing.
Ever Ready condoms - keep going and going.
Pringles condoms - once you pop, you cant stop

Burger King Condoms - Home of the whopper
Goodyear Condoms - for a longer ride go wide
FCUK condoms - no comment required.
Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's the pain.

Halfords condoms - we go the extra mile.
Royal Mail condoms - I saw this and thought of you.
Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very long
Renault condoms - size really does matter!

Ronseal condoms - does exactly what it says on the tin
Ronseal quick-drying condoms - its dry and waterproof in 30 minutes
Domestos condoms - gets right under the rim!!! (Please)
Heineken condoms - reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach
Carlsberg condoms - probably the best condom in the world
AA Condoms - for the 4th emergency service
Pepperami condoms - it's a bit of an animal
Polo condoms - the condom with the hole!!!

VIJAY_FROM_KENT

What if Easy Jet merge with Virgin?...... :rolleyes:

Easy Virgin! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

viv0147

I went to the chemist and asked for a packet of condoms sorry she said we are sold out try boots, I said I don't want to kick her to death!!!!!!!!!

Adzha

Thanks
Hope these come unlike those from Radio 1

lumpy_bum

viv0147 wrote: »

I went to the chemist and asked for a packet of condoms sorry she said we are sold out try boots, I said I don't want to kick her to death!!!!!!!!!

lmfao:rotfl::rotfl:

chickenpants

missed these at the time as been on hols but some fantastic posts - have had me laughing - now 7 year old wants to know what I am laughing at!