Struggling and desperate... Please help!

gggxxx

Help! We are a young couple, I am 20, he is 22, we have been together for just under 3 years now.
My partner has worked on and off since he was 16 but always ends up stuck in part time work, last job was back in January and it was temporary. He has been unemployed since.
I work full time (around 40 hours, every saturday also) and earn around £920 a month.
Our rent is £420, Our expenditure (bills and all) is generally around £450-£500 [NOT INCLUDING FOOD SHOPPING] .
This leaves us with no money, I have to walk to work (around 40 mins a day) and we are on the breadline.
Partner has recently been suspected to have Scitszophrenia/psychosis. He is currently going down the route of referrals and so on. We get around £45 a fortnight for housing benefit but they take £11 off due to overpayment at some point where my wage increased (?).

We tried to claim ESA and after sending everything through and getting hopeful they have today sent us a letter saying the government says I earn enough for us to live on..
We are also hoping to claim PIP for him, but I know how long that can take.

We're both suffering mentally here, my only options will be to either get pregnant (It is a joke but.. seriously, why do people get paid for having children?!) or move back into my mums box room..

I'm at breaking point, what can we do?!

tomtontom

Move back in with your mum? If that is a valid option then it seems a very sensible one.

Post a breakdown of your income and outgoings on the Debtfree Wannabe board, they'll help you with your budgeting.

gggxxx

It's going to make life unbearable, We both get on great with my mum but not so much with other family members.

beecher2

Go onto the Debt Free Wannabe forums and post a Statement of Affairs - great advice on there on how to cut down your £500 in bills, which sounds high especially if it doesn't include food.

[Deleted User]

Can't envy you, appears you'll need to get a higher paid job (not sure how much I'd now rate this but lately seen more jobs offering extra or additional money for working Saturday etc) or can Mum help in another way if can't/doesn't want you back home?


I can save a fortunate by only going out when I have to (which I also appreciate leads to whole miss of interaction causing anxiety)


Personally 'Don't give into mental health' so will need to push yourselves as hard as it gets, get up quick, as I really think once you have the mindset of give up, that's it - knew someone with schizophrenia, now not of this world where he was so taken, and I knew someone who found the strength to walk from someone with drug abuse problem rather then be dragged down, she never regretted it - thank you - any problems I have seems small.
Happy to be corrected, not sure the baby thing works and is cracked up to be the passport to solving problems only if you want to try keep a partner x

pmlindyloo

You need to be realistic.

You end by saying 'what can we do?'

The answer is either increase your income or lower your expenditure.

You are claiming all the benefits you are entitled to.

if your partner is unable to work to increase your income and you cannot get a better paid job then you need to lower your expenditure.

Your rent is almost half your income. If you do not wish to live with mum then can you find somewhere cheaper to live?

What about your partner's family/other relatives/friends who want lodgers?

There is a lot of information on this forum about lowering your expenditure so have a thorough read.

I don't mean to sound patronising but if your partner is unable to work at the moment then the priority is for him to get some help so that he can return to work.

Until this happens you may have to 'bite the bullet' and go through a time when things aren't perfect and you have to 'make do' until things get better.

Time is on your side.

elsien

Have you been on the turn2us calculator to double check if there's any other help you might get?

rogerblack

gggxxx wrote: »

We are also hoping to claim PIP for him, but I know how long that can take.

Answering on this narrow point.
Recent figures have stated that after you return the form, it can take as little as one or two weeks to get assessed and for PIP to come into payment.
It is _enormously_ better than in the past when it took >40 weeks.

As to more general - 'not including food shopping' - in principle, many people can make significant reductions in this - especially if there is one person who has relatively a lot of time to devote to this.

McKneff

Do a proper sOA


http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php


and wewill see how we can help.


£500 for bills not inc. food sounds a bit OTT

FBaby

You're young, very young, so will need to start at the bottim before you can start to enjoy the things in life. Your OH needs to concentrate on his future. He clearly gave up school with limited qualifications, so is going to remain where he is now unless he start building up his prospects.

Instead of considering getting pregnant and falling into the benefit trap at such a young age, you need to concentrate on the following:
- if your partner has difficulties with a mental condition, he needs to get proper treatment and medication. He needs to learn how to cope with the limitations that comes with his illness so he can still have a decent chance of an independent life. He needs to consider his education and how he can better himself, through further studies or an apprentiship.
- you need to accept that until you can help your partner with the above and yourself you can start going up the ladder, you will have to leave on the basics. £500 bills a month without food is not right, so you must be paying something too much. Life is not much fun when you first start our, but every effort will come with a reward at some point, so stick to it.

BigAunty

I am not surprised you are struggling - approx £320 rent (after HB) presumably around £100 or so council tax means that around 40% or so of your income goes on basic accommodation costs which is a very bad ratio indeed.

The option to move back with a relative is a potentially sound one if your OH cannot work or isn't successful claiming benefits - even if you paid generous housekeeping to your mum, it might allow your expenses to drop by half, for example.

Hopefully, with PIP and/or meds and proper diagnosis, your partner could return back to employment and your joint income will go up considerably.

You could apply for social housing - it's a long shot that could get you into a property with low rent but many places have huge demand and very low supply.

"We tried to claim ESA and after sending everything through and getting hopeful they have today sent us a letter saying the government says I earn enough for us to live on.. " Does this mean he didn't qualify for contributions based ESA because his employment insecurity means he hasn't paid enough NI, for example?

Download the MSE budget planner, populate it with your actual expenses and income, then work through the site to work out how to slash your outgoings - cheapest energy,telecoms/tv packages and so forth. The site has links to the cheapest groceries, ultra thrifty recipes and so on.

Hopefully the PIP will stop the subsistence living but until then, only a massive budgeting exercise will help.

Good luck with your situation.