Re mortgaging question - please don't judge

johnandkymberley

Hi all,

I'm just going to keep this simples but as title says please don't judge us.

We have a mortgage for £68,000 and a loan for £12,500 - used to renovate the house. Payments are easily maintained no problem there. Have been dealing with infertility for a year. Had IVF (NHS funded) got pregnant with triplets and then miscarriaged. Both totally heartbroken and seeking counselling each. Anyway, our only option is IVF, naturally we are against odds. We both have fertility issues. We don't know the exact ways around borrowing money but wondering if we could re mortgage, pay off the £12,500 and borrows an additional £5,590 for another round of IVF with ICSI. I don't care about debt, we are both desperate for a baby and will do anything. It's taking over our lives and we've had enough. I can't even tell you what u would give to have my triplets back... Any help would be greatly appreciated. As long as we can keep up the re payments I don't care how much we are going to spend in the long run, I don't care if I don't go on holiday for the next 10 years. We have cut back massively on spending and will sacrifice anything we need too. Help would be greatly appreciated,
Many thanks in advance

libf

How much is the house worth? Salaries? Term on loans? Can't tell how much more you could secure against it without a figures.

If you increased your debt would you be able to afford triplets, should you find yourself in a multiple birth situation? Sounds like you'd be better off saving up the money for the IVF rather than going into more debt to get it.

johnandkymberley

House is worth £92,000. Salaries are £35,000 combined. The mortgage is 30 years and £12,500 is 7 years.

To clarify we had one embryo transferred back and it split into 3. We didn't have multiple embryos put back. They were all identical and sharing a placenta. We had more chance of winning the lottery than that happening. Now id prefer the lottery compared to the heartache

libf

Adding the loan and an extra £6k out would leave you with a mortgage of £86.5k, so on a house worth £92k that's close to 95% LTV. Is that 30 years left on the mortgage or it was a 30 year mortgage when you took it out? I think at 95% LTV, consolidating a loan and taking more out you'd need a brokers help to find a lender... Especially as there will be maternity leave and childcare costs potentially looming in the future.

No family members who could loan/gift you the IVF money?

(I wasn't implying you'd done anything 'wrong' to end up with a potential multiple birth, just that if it should happen again then you'd need to be in a financial position to deal with it. )

stator

Sorry to hear about your situation

So to remortgage and borrow would put you at between 90-95% LTV

If you took out an interest free credit card and transferred all of your day to day spending on to it, making the minimum payments every month, that would be a good way to boost your saving to get the cash needed for IVF. But don't get yourself in to too much debt before you even have any children.

I'm sure you've considered adoption too, but it's worth looking into again.

johnandkymberley

Thankyou for replies. I don't know if maybe we should save half and use a credit card for the rest. Childcare costs in the future aren't an issue as I'm a childminder.

Stator - I really don't mean this to sound nasty but please don't pull out the adoption card. Adoption isn't for everyone and just because I may not be able to get pregnant naturally doesn't mean I want 'anyone's' child. I want my own, mine and my husbands. Our genes combined for a future family, not anyone else's genes. Sorry for saying but a very uneducated and niave point of view, not to mention hurtful

stator

That is a very closed minded view. Genes are the most irrelevant thing in the world. If you found out your father wasn't really your father, would it make him any less your father?
If you want to get yourself up to your eyeballs in debt, by all means go ahead.

johnandkymberley

Can I ask why you assumed I had considered adoption?

Have you any personal experience with infertility? The diagnosis, operations, invasive procedures?

I asked not to be judged, yet it still happens!! I don't expect anyone to empathise as I know that it's a rare situation to be in

silvercar

If your credit records are fairly decent and you have income, the easiest way of raising a few thousand would be an unsecured loan or credit cards.

Seriously worth considering a loan from family or friends, they may be more sympathetic to your anguish than if you were wanting to borrow money for a car or holiday.

I wish you all the best, I have a nephew brought into this world through ICSI and remember how difficult it was for his parents struggling to conceive 17 years ago. I'm sure the medical knowledge has improved since then and wish you success.

Flugelhorn

I had one child and then had 4 miscarriages, in an online forum someone suggested that I used an egg donor. Fortunately they were flamed by others before I read it. Of course they didn't know the whole story and were making huge assumptions - didn't need anyone else's eggs, just a bit of time and the odds to pan out. Still very upsetting.
Loads of people bring up kids who don't have 50% of their genes and do a fantastic job and have great relationships, having said that I think the mix of genes in our kids is hilarious and always producing surprises - think DS would much have preferred to have his father's hair than my uncontrollable mop.
Re the money - appreciate that you would pay anything but children are eyewateringly expensive and getting in debt is really not the best idea.

Sedge123

Not sure the mortgage option is viable as a very high ltv would result as someone else said. I can totally understand your desperation as I actually have been through it myself (and thankfully come out the other side). Are there no family members who could long term loan you the money? I also would be careful to not overstretch yourself for the future. take care. X