22 months to work, dig, tidy and declutter my way to debt freedom

tattycath

Hi p & f. :wave:
If you are unhappy with you relationship, even though you're not planning to leave...you would be wise to start to get some kind of contingency fund in place. I wish I had had the opportunity and the money to do that before I finally left my ex. He loved his alcohol, still does. I just had to trust that I was bringing my kids up sufficiently well for them not to be too heavily influenced by their dad. They have grown up to be well rounded individuals, I'm very proud of them. If I had stayed with my ex, I would have gone insane or it would have got violent again I feel.

peaceandfreedom

I've just had the laziest weekend since the creation of mankind . I am busy telling myself that's fine because I'm a bit under the weather .

Really must go to bed now, busy week ahead.

peaceandfreedom

brizzledfw wrote: »

There are some resonances with my life currently..especially the impact of alcohol..I am fortunate though in that OH is beginning to realise that if he overindulges we all suffer and is being much more measured as a result. Its been a tough few months though. Interestingly, trying to get DF, then mortgage free, has also made him look at how much it costs...thats been a big improvement as well. He is also exercising more..he did a marathon last year, and it all helps.

I think decluttering helps too..makes for a clearer mind I always think. Well done. Do some more EBAying too..and maybe put it in a 'treats' pot for you.

An escape route in the form of a tiny cottage may be what you need to do...perhaps 5 years from now? Worth keeping in mind. Its your life after all.

xx

Thanks Brizzled. I am finding life hard going at the moment. I always find this time of year hard - months of horrible weather, not enough outdoors-time, feeling fat unfit and useless and spending a lot of time indulging in nostalgia and self-pity. I am self-aware enough to know that I needn't be doing this, but somehow lack the resolve to sort myself out.

I've tried discussing the drinking issue with OH but it's a waste of time and it doesn't matter what effect it has on everyone else. I promised myself when I started this diary that I wouldn't go on too much about OH because that's not what it's meant to be about. But it's hard to detach myself at times.

I think an escape route is important, even if it's only an imaginary one. For now, I need to concentrate on improving my situation as it is. There's a lot I can be doing, just need to get on with it rather than thinking about it but doing little.

peaceandfreedom

tattycath wrote: »

Hi p & f. :wave:
If you are unhappy with you relationship, even though you're not planning to leave...you would be wise to start to get some kind of contingency fund in place. I wish I had had the opportunity and the money to do that before I finally left my ex. He loved his alcohol, still does. I just had to trust that I was bringing my kids up sufficiently well for them not to be too heavily influenced by their dad. They have grown up to be well rounded individuals, I'm very proud of them. If I had stayed with my ex, I would have gone insane or it would have got violent again I feel.

Thanks TC for the insight. I reached the realisation a long time ago that alcohol would always be part of OH's life and a major part. No social event has ever ended in anything other than OH being paralytic. This is the way it always will be. I am reaching the point where I don't have to live with this any more but I don't know what I want to do next.

I am the ultimate non-decision-maker, just always hoping that somehow things will change. I know it's me that has to change, no-one else is going to and no-one else is going to do anything.

I hope that one day I will make a decision and act on it. I can't right now. But there's stuff I can be doing to make life better.:o

peaceandfreedom

OK, so I seem to have spent the entire winter in the doldrums, feeling miserable and a bit hopeless. Winter tends to have this effect on me but really, I am doing it to myself.

So I hereby promise a moratorium on all miserableness for 3 months. Until at least 1st June I will be unbearably positive and upbeat :A. I intend to aim to be like this 'in real life' as well as on MSE. Will it work? Who knows but it's worth a try.

There is a massive list of things to be done, I will give an update on that in the next post. Meanwhile, wish the new sunshiney peaceandfreedom good luck with the new attitude :dance:.

peaceandfreedom

So, what's to be done - tons but I'll stick to my plans for this weekend. I had intended to do some clearing up in the garden but the weather today is not being kind. Tomorrow looks better though.

So I intend to do a bit of Kondo-ing of stuff. I have some stuff in the airing cupboard that needs to be laundered and donated to a worthy cause. Ditto some children's clothes. I plan to make a start on the paperwork as well. A lot of it is OH's but I have a cunning plan to help make him sort this out .

The kitchen needs a good scrub and floor-washing. The utility-room has stuffed dumped in from last weekend's wardrobe clear out (oh, how good my wardrobe looks now!). I have a writing-desk thing that needs clearing out. It also needs to be painted but that can wait until the whole bedroom is revamped. Usual housework needs doing as well.

I have some website work to get on with, that can wait until the evenings. I also need to make some headway into earning some extra cash on the side and gaining some new qualifications that will help with a new job when I decide to look for one.

So plenty to be getting on with. I'll do a list so I can come back and account for myself later. This weekend lasts until the end of Monday by the way:

• Launder bedding to be donated
• Parcel up children's clothing to be donated
• Other laundry
• Do some of my own paperwork
• OH to do some paperwork
• Shred/burn paperwork already in 'get rid of' tray
• Clean bathrooms
• Clean kitchen
• Sort out utility-room
• Take some garden waste to the tip
• Do some tidying-up in the garden
• Website work for me
• Website work for a local charity
• Other studying for me

I think this is enough to be getting on with .

brizzledfw

Yay! Good to read about your progress. Have a great productive and positive weekend

X

juliejim

You're doing really well p & f - keep the new found positivity going!

Jue

peaceandfreedom

Hi everyone

So my long weekend is over. I enjoyed it, worked hard and got quite a bit done. I am working very hard at staying cheerful but it's not easy .

My list looks like this now:

• [STRIKE]Launder bedding to be donated[/STRIKE]
• Parcel up children's clothing to be donated - didn't do this, will aim for next weekend instead
• [STRIKE]Other laundry[/STRIKE]
• [STRIKE]Do some of my own paperwork[/STRIKE]
• OH to do some paperwork - in fairness, I didn't organise myself to get him organised
• [STRIKE]Shred/burn paperwork already in 'get rid of' tray[/STRIKE]
• Clean bathrooms - never a job I look forward to
• [STRIKE]Clean kitchen[/STRIKE]
• [STRIKE]Sort out utility-room[/STRIKE]
• [STRIKE]Take some garden waste to the tip[/STRIKE]
• [STRIKE]Do some tidying-up in the garden[/STRIKE]
• Website work for me - the other website work took up too much of my time.
• [STRIKE]Website work for a local charity[/STRIKE]
• [STRIKE]Other studying for me[/STRIKE]

I ache in all kinds of places today because the garden work was quite strenuous. But it's looking a lot better now.

Be back later in the week .

peaceandfreedom

Hi everyone, back again after another long absence, I really must increase my posting frequency .

All is going well enough though. Have been starting to get the garden tidied up after the winter, the first seeds are coming through and I am looking forward to the clocks going forward next weekend .

Not a lot to report otherwise, things are pottering along here much the same as normal. I am putting together plans for a bit of house refurbishment, which is badly needed.

I also need to get my act together and think of ways of raising funds to pay off all debts before the end of the year. I have 8300 to go, of which 2300 is on a credit card, the other is a family debt and so 'off the record' so to speak. I have some big expenses coming up in the second half of the year which will curtail my debt-busting plans somewhat unless I can bring in some more cash.

If I could get a little bit of freelance work every month I could sort out that debt fairly easily but I am simply not trying hard enough. So last night I made some new plans and I will start to put them into practice. You never know, it might work :j.

I am off out now to do some more tidying up in the garden, back later in the week.