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Harassed by ex over debts...

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Debt-Free Wannabe
7 replies 1.3K views
Admo10Admo10 Forumite
16 Posts
edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Debt-Free Wannabe
I've posted about this before but it's still going on over 2 years later...

I was with my ex partner for 2 years! We were pretty young when we moved in together , I was lucky enough to be left inheritance money by my late grandfather which allowed us to have a comfortable start. I pretty much bought everything for our flat. I more than paid my way whilst we lived together.

Whilst living together my ex partner took out a credit card (in his name) which we did use for a few minor household expenses. We also purchased a few Christmas presents for relatives. Due to it being an abusive relationship and my partner using our hard earned money to visit brothels our relationship had a messy ending which included police involvement etc.

After we split up his mother agreed to pay the credit card off , I agreed to pay what I owed on the card and giving the circumstances I felt it was more than generous. Regardless of what my partner had done I didn't want him mother being lumbered with debts. I am certain that I have paid more than my fair share of the debts on the card as I kept a box file of every purchase we made on it to keep track.

My personal belief is that my ex partner racked up a lot of debt on it after we split. I have endured 2 years of pestering off his mother asking me to contribute more money towards the card including messages on Christmas eve , missed calls at 12 o clock in the nights and facebook messages asking me to 'agree' on a settlement amount.

She told me that she has lost her job and her son had to take out a loan to pay off his debts which leads me to believe that they're just looking to 'bully' a quick buck out of me because of their circumstances.

She's threatened to take me to court over the matter but 2 years later it's still going on. I point blank refuse to pay anymore money towards this card as I know I have paid more than my fair share.

Im really at my wits end. I just want to move on with my life and have nothing more to do with these people! What can I do?


  • -taff-taff Forumite
    12.7K Posts
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    If the card is in his name it's his debt.

    You have no reason to be in touch with them anymore, so ignore the calls and texts or change your number so they can't contact you.

    She can't take you to court over a debt in her sons name.
  • greensaladgreensalad Forumite
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    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    As has been said, it's his debt.

    Now onto the harassment. If he's harassing you and there has been past violence then I strongly suggest you report the harassment to the police. Note down any times he contacts you or harasses you and let the police know.

  • fatbellyfatbelly Forumite
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    Your last thread had loads of good advice on it

    I can't see that anything has changed.
  • sourcratessourcrates Forumite, Board Guide
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    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Admo10 wrote: »
    Im really at my wits end. I just want to move on with my life and have nothing more to do with these people! What can I do?

    Common sense dictates you block there number on your landline, also on your mobile, block them on Facebook too.
    The debt is in his name, it's nothing to do with you, you need to be proactive here, and do as advised.
    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Credit File and Ratings, Bankruptcy And Living With It, boards. "I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly".
    Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an abusive or illegal post then please report it to:
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    Any views expressed are mine and not the official line of
    "I don`t trust Bankers, I don`t trust Banks, and I don`t trust you.........Private Frazer".
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  • ellesbellesxxxellesbellesxxx Forumite
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    Tenth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I remember you posting about this before... Did they send you statement? Did you put it in writing?
    If not, please write letter (another poster on previous thread had great wording for saying to put it in writing only)
    To say I have given you x amount towards the costs and have asked for statement, not been given therefore matter closed.
    you have blocked them right?
  • Admo10Admo10 Forumite
    16 Posts
    Thank you for the helpful advice so far!

    Just to confirm , I've never put anything in writing to them agreeing an amount.

    The only reason I haven't blocked them on everything is because I now live with my new partner and I'm afraid that if they cant contact me they'll start harassing my parents as they know where they live.

    It's a horrible situation , it's made me so stressed.
  • FireWyrmFireWyrm Forumite
    6.6K Posts
    Debt-free and Proud!
    Send them a cease and desist letter and mention the word 'criminal harrassment'. Tell them that the debt is nothing to do with you and you will under no circumstances agree to pay any of it. That is your final word on the matter and additional contact in this regard will trigger a criminal complaint to the police.
    Debt Free! Long road, but we did it
    Meet my best friend : YNAB (you need a budget)
    My other best friend is a filofax.
    Do or do not, there is no try....Yoda.

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