Ex-husband has re-married, has he fallen into the re-marriage trap re our house?

nicky22

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Guest101

nicky22 wrote: »

My ex-husband and I separated 10 years ago when he moved out due to him having an affair. I stayed in the marital home (which we own jointly). He bought himself a new house, but he has continued to pay towards our joint mortgage. We divorced 3 years ago because he was getting re-married (I am still single). He has now said he wants to sell our house. I would like to buy him out and have offered him a reasonable sum (based on what I believe he would get if we sold the house). He is however making up unreasonably high values (even though I have obtained 3 valuations from Estate Agents and a Surveyor) and so he is therefore demanding an unrealistic amount of money from me. My worry is that he may try and take me to court to force the sale of our house. I have read on the internet that when one party re-marries they forfeit their right to take their ex-spouse to court for anything regarding financial and property matters (called the 're-marriage trap'). I am unsure of the details of this, so would somebody please be able to tell me if this is correct. Thank you in advance.

When you divorced, what was the decision?

- I dont know what you read on the internet. But if he owns a share of a property, him remarrying doesnt remove that share.

Think - if he'd stayed at the property and you paid the mortgage, would you think you didnt own anything??

fairy_lights

nicky22 wrote: »

I have read on the internet that when one party re-marries they forfeit their right to take their ex-spouse to court for anything regarding financial and property matters (called the 're-marriage trap').

I can't see why this would be true, his marriage doesn't make his half of the house any less his.
If he's been paying half of the mortgage on a house he hasn't even been living in for the last ten years then I'm not surprised he wants to sell.

neneromanova

this might be better moved to the Buying and selling section of the forum

Mojisola

nicky22 wrote: »

My ex-husband and I separated 10 years ago when he moved out due to him having an affair. I stayed in the marital home (which we own jointly). He bought himself a new house, but he has continued to pay towards our joint mortgage. We divorced 3 years ago because he was getting re-married (I am still single).

Didn't you do a financial settlement as part of the divorce?

All this should have been sorted out then.

If he doesn't believe the three quotes from the EAs, tell him to get some of his own. If he takes you to court, that will cost money and he will still have to settle for being bought out for a reasonable amount.

bouicca21

Do you have a sealed consent order? Who was the respondent? What boxes re finances did the applicant tick? All this is important regarding the remarriage trap. Are there dependent children? Who do they live with?

The easiest thing for you to do is to both agree on a valuer and pay for a valuation. Much as you may resent the adulterous !!!!!! you still have to be fair. You own the house jointly I presume, and he has been contributing to the mortgage. The question then is in what proportion do you split the equity. That's a whole other issue.

FBaby

Is it the EA values that he doesn't agree with, or the share you are suggesting? Are you offering him 50% of the value, and if so, was the deposit paid (if any) 50%?

Surely if the issue is the valuation, why can't you tell him to get his own? It doesn't make sense that this is what his issue would be.

pinkshoes

Just write to him asking him to provide the official valuation that he is basing his estimate on.

If he hasn't got a proper valuation, tell him to get THREE done, and you will compare them to yours.

Make it very clear that you are being generous, and that if he doesnt agree, then you will just sell the house and he can have half the profit once all fees are paid, which is a lot less than what you are currently offering. Write down what all the fees are and make it clear how much more your offer is compared to the alternative.

duchy

If you have three valuations and are confident they aren't over optimistic then why not let him take you to court. He'll get to pay court costs and provided you've got proof that you provided a reasonable offer to buy him out the court won't take him seriously (if it gets that far- a decent solicitor will advise him to settle - and even if they don't the projected costs would eat into any extra money anyway.)

You should get legal advice yourself in case anything in the divorce agreement contridicts this of course.

Can you post a link to this marriage trap stuff you found on the net ? I've never heard of it either.

ViolaLass

nicky22 wrote: »

I have read on the internet that when one party re-marries they forfeit their right to take their ex-spouse to court for anything regarding financial and property matters (called the 're-marriage trap'). I am unsure of the details of this, so would somebody please be able to tell me if this is correct. Thank you in advance.

Doesn't this pertain to spousal support, which does not appear to be relevant in your case.

fierystormcloud

I seriously doubt this is true OP.

Wishful thinking I think. The house is still half his from what you say.

I have a friend who's in EXACTLY the same position; it's almost like it's her writing it tbh!

Her husband left her for another woman 10 years ago, leaving her with 2 boys age 8 and 10. He has also been paying for their house since - in fact he has paid 75% of the mortgage payments and her 25% (though she HAS raised his boys while he gallivanted around with some bird he left her for, and it's not her fault she was put in that position, and so damn right that it should be regarded as half hers.)

Anyway, as soon as the youngest lad hit 18 the other month, her ex announced he wants the house to go up for sale because he wants his equity. They paid (I think) £60K around 22 years ago, and now it's worth £300K... SO not surprisingly, he wants his £150K LOL. (The house only has about 3 years left on the mortgage.)

Can't say I blame him really. I feel sorry for her, but their kids are 18 and 20 now, so she doesn't have much of a leg to stand on. She can get something decent for £150K though, maybe a small 2 or 3 bed. This house is a 5 bed.

But she cannot afford to buy him out, so she has to agree to sell.

Can't offer much advice sorry OP. I think you may need to agree to sell.