Please help me get out of this vicious circle

LoisLane16

Bobarella wrote: »

Hi Lois

Is that council tax spread over 10 or 12 months? That can help a little bit if not.
£450 for groceries is a little on the high side. Do you cook from scratch most of the time or end up using ready meals/takeaways? Do you shop in one of the big supermarket s or could you change to Aldi or Lidl?

£105 on mobiles is high. How us that broken down? I'm guessing that's for both of you, could you go onto cheaper PAYG deals?

£100 a month on presents seems quite a lot too if you are not saving for an emergency fund.

Ouch that £70 on bank fees is definately excessive why so high?

Bob

Thanks Bob.

Council tax is over 10 mths, but we have to tell the council by March if we want to switch to 12 mths, so I will be doing that next year.

The grocery bill could definitely be cut, I shop between Asda/Tesco and Lidl, but we probably spend another £50 a month on takeaways, so I need to cut that out, and get back to meal planning. I love to cook, which helps, but being disorganised doesn't.....

Re the mobiles, mine is £50 p/m, my husbands is £45, and they're both in contract til Dec next year, so I don't think I can do much there? And the £10 is for my daughter's rolling month contract.

Bum, I dont think I put our OD in the figures, it's £3500, hence the monthly interest

LoisLane16

Bobarella wrote: »

Lois
How did he react the other 2 times when you broke the news? Do you think he will be supportive again? It's horrible when you have that must confess feeling. Maybe the best approach is filling in your SOA and then sitting him down and trying to show how you can tackle it rather than just telling him about the debt? Good to have a plan of attack.
I do sympathise, it sounds like your husband is giving you all the responsibility but not checking in with you as to how things are going.

A realistic budget is going to be the only way forward though. Really hope you can sort it out.

Bob

I think he will be supportive eventually, but I know he's going to be so upset and disappointed in me. That's by far the hardest part.... I definitely need a plan of attack, but I think I'm just in panic mode right now!

Money_maker

Whilst its good to go over your SOA and look at where you can make cuts, unless you follow it through every single month until the debt is repaid then its just figures on paper. You are overspending by over £300 a month so you need to know where every single penny is going by keeping a spending diary. Reducing the availability of money will not solve the problem but reducing the need to find the money to spend will. The whole family needs to be on board and its going to be a major case of belt tightening for the next few years or so.

LoisLane16

Money_maker wrote: »

Whilst its good to go over your SOA and look at where you can make cuts, unless you follow it through every single month until the debt is repaid then its just figures on paper. You are overspending by over £300 a month so you need to know where every single penny is going by keeping a spending diary. Reducing the availability of money will not solve the problem but reducing the need to find the money to spend will. The whole family needs to be on board and its going to be a major case of belt tightening for the next few years or so.

This is exactly why I'm here, as I said in my first post, I want to know how other overspenders sorted out their issues successfully, so I can try and put some tools into place to help us going forward

Money_maker

Really it is by cutting everything to the bone and keeping a note of where every penny goes. Some would regard satellite/cable tv, entertainment, take aways & lottery as luxuries. I do. As Bobarella mentioned, £105 per month on mobiles is shocking. I dont mean to sound harsh but a complete change of thinking and lifestyle is needed as this vicious debt circle keeps repeating itself.

Bobarella

I think a spending diary is useful as a good basic focusing the mind tool. Have you ever tried one?

LoisLane16

Money_maker wrote: »

Really it is by cutting everything to the bone and keeping a note of where every penny goes. Some would regard satellite/cable tv, entertainment, take aways & lottery as luxuries. I do. As Bobarella mentioned, £105 per month on mobiles is shocking. I dont mean to sound harsh but a complete change of thinking and lifestyle is needed as this vicious debt circle keeps repeating itself.

Oh god I know it's shocking, I really do, & is indicative of exactly how we have ended up where we are. I wish I had just taken some time to think, instead of making stupid impulse buys. The worst of it is that I already had an iPhone 5, but of course I *needed* a 6! *shakes head at my own foolishness*

Little things add up too, like my husband & I end tend to buy lunch in a Mon & Tue when I work, & the children have hot dinners. If I was just a bit more organised, I could definitely save here.

I'm going to be speaking to Sky tomorrow about getting a reduction in fees, or I'll be handing my notice in.

Off to the OS board to get some grocery cutting tips.

LoisLane16

Bobarella wrote: »

I think a spending diary is useful as a good basic focusing the mind tool. Have you ever tried one?

I did try one, yes, a few years back, & it really made me think about every penny, so it's definitely worth starting one again, thanks!

Bobarella

You can definately do this Lois you sound very motivated. :beer:

BettyBoof

Getting rid of cable TV would save you £53 a month too so that would help.

It sounds like you really need to get a handle on your finances before you move forward - have you spoken to a financial counsellor at all? A charity like Stepchange could help: stepchange dot org It's free so no fees to worry about!

It might be an idea to clear the credit card debt with the money from remortgaging and then cut up your "emergency" card. A financial counsellor could help you decide if remortgaging is the way to go but not having any access to credit would be a good start.

There is definitely hope - hang in there.

ETA: I stopped the cycle of overspending by cutting up our credit cards and making a plan to pay them down systematically. I started with the one with the highest interest and "went medieval on it" to coin a phrase! We still have debt but have a plan in place now which means it is being paid down every month. We tightened our belts to make this possible and if we want something now, we save for it. I also downloaded YNAB (You Need A Budget) to my laptop and the app to my phone and I give every pound a job. As soon as I spend some money, I enter it into YNAB so I always know exactly how much money I have in each category (groceries, mobile bill, petrol etc.) and can't overspend. I cannot recommend it highly enough to be honest!! It has totally changed the way we spend money.