Why do people not care about things until it affects them?

LilElvis

I am so looking forward to all the new knowledge I am going to be assimilating over the next year or so.

I get to find out what happens when you suffer from pancreatic cancer, because my MIL has recently been diagnosed with it (terminal).

I have to find out about nursing care and hospice care.

I will need to ask my MIL what sort of funeral she wants, and arrange it.

I have no clue about things like probate and inheritance tax, but I'm sure I'll be a pro when I've got to work my way through it.

Obviously I should have got myself clued up on all these things long before now, instead of "not giving a rats chuff" until the !!!! hit the fan.

Georgiegirl256

LilElvis wrote: »

I am so looking forward to all the new knowledge I am going to be assimilating over the next year or so.

I get to find out what happens when you suffer from pancreatic cancer, because my MIL has recently been diagnosed with it (terminal).

I have to find out about nursing care and hospice care.

I will need to ask my MIL what sort of funeral she wants, and arrange it.

I have no clue about things like probate and inheritance tax, but I'm sure I'll be a pro when I've got to work my way through it.

Obviously I should have got myself clued up on all these things long before now, instead of "not giving a rats chuff" until the !!!! hit the fan.

You should have known about them earlier and shown an interest sooner LilE.

Seriously though, I'm really sorry to hear about your MiL. I hope it's as easy a time as possible, especially for your MiL.

Callie22

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Its is a shame that some people do not seem to be able to empathise until in the situation themselves.

This is one of the things in life that I really struggle with - it's amazing how few people seem to be able to think 'how would I feel if x, y or z happened to me' and modify their behaviour accordingly. I swear the world would be a much more pleasant place if more people had this ability.

fizz

fierystormcloud - how about domestic violence for your next topic? Or if that doesnt float your boat-animal cruelty or perhaps transgender abuse?

When a condition or illness hits, you are knocked sideways and upside down. Yes, it never occurs to the family until it happens, but that doesnt make it anymore real or indeed devastating. I hope you can continue to live in your little bubble where nothing ever affects you,

From a Mom and Aunt of 2 gorgeous girls who have Autism.

fizz

bugslet

Too many things to care about, you can't care about them all. When something affects you, it becomes your whole life. Dementia became more important once my *OH had it. I couldn't spend time worrying and caring about epilepsy, strokes, lupus, hi polar and on and on as well.

marisco_2

fierystormcloud wrote: »

I get the comments above. It just grates on me that some people are so rampant about it, and ram it down everyone's throats, and act all huffy if you don't share their new found cause.

Much of the way that you describe how these people have responded to concerning news about loved ones could be put down to shock, upset and a huge level of worry that they are carrying. Try offering a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear rather than getting so aggravated by them. That could go a long way to really making a much needed difference and put them on an even keel far quicker than sitting back and judging them will.

rachy182

A lot of the people i know who suddenly start supporting causes and asking for money do so because they have been touched by that cause. A lot of them have received help and support from certain charities so they want to give something back. I think a lot of them hope that by raising funds for research they can stop someone else from having that illness, which is a great motivator especially if a loved one has died.

JIL

When I was diagnosed and being treated for cancer, I felt the only people who truly understood what I was going through were the ones who had been through it themselves or someone close had.
Sometimes as the saying goes you have to walk a mile in their shoes.
I don't think that people don't care previously, its just they don't have any detailed experience or awareness. Life as they say, gets in the way.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Sorta like the NIMBY brigade! :cool:

EG, my work colleague (mid 40s) has just discovered that her grandson (6) is autistic. (Diagnosed recently.) They have had quite a few problems with him; bad, disruptive behaviour etc.

After spending her whole life not giving a stuff about autism and the affect it has on children and their families, she is suddenly rampant about autism rights, and she has got her grandson a t-shirt, saying 'I am not naughty, I am autistic.'

In addition, she keeps asking for money for 'autism' charities and things they're doing for autism. She actually gets quite snarky when people refuse, and says 'I hope none of YOUR grandkids never get autism!' with a nasty spiteful tone and her eyes glaring.

Also, one of my husband's friends has a wife who has recently been diagnosed with M.E.

Cue 2 out 3 posts on facebook being about M.E. and M.E. awareness, and if you are a good person, and you care about people with M.E. you will repost this.

There are a number of other examples.

So why do people not give a rats chuff until something affects THEM? :cool:

I encountered somebody like that. I wouldn't contribute because I didn't understand or care about ASD, apparently. I'd actually said I hadn't any money on me.

'You're absolutely right. Except for my brother, my daughter, a couple of my mates, at least one boyfriend and a whole bunch of kids at school, I've got absolutely zero experience of anybody with autism or Aspergers.'

[shrug]

I don't share the idiotic chain mail posts about not caring either. Yeah, this stuff is sad. But even if it's something that affects me, I'm not advertising to the world that I'm special for making a declaration. I'd rather do something useful instead, like help explain to a frustrated teenager with autism that, although she's angry and doesn't like the fact she's got a test that lesson, it'll help her see what she needs to improve upon for next time. Or help out at a fundraiser. Walking up to a group of people at a gig holding a collection bucket and smiling sweetly does more to help than a poorly spelled chain status.

jackyann

Of course, we can't all donate / help every charity or find out details about every condition or cause.
So most of us put our energy into something we do care about for whatever reason, and give different levels of support to others. Most of us are sympathetic to neighbours or co-workers who support charities or causes.

I think that the annoying behaviour described by OP, tends to occur in people who are opinionated in the first place, and have a damascene conversion about whatever the cause is. They assume that everyone had the same ignorant opinion as them about *whatever* and want to proselytise to you.
I also think that most workplaces should have policies - formal or informal - about the amount of fund-raising / awareness raising that can go on.